"Gay and Proud"

09/06/2015 By Dave McFarlane Leave a Comment

A poem from a gay-unionist called “Gay and Proud” which appeared in the March/April 2013 issue of Humanism Ireland which is the magazine of The Humanist association of Northern Ireland

I am an Ulster-Scot

Gay and Proud

Save Ulster from Sodomy

Is the message from Paisley (SNR)

The Catholic Cardinal is no better

in his message

But gay is what I am

Small town Ulster beware

From Comber in County Down

to Comber in Ontario, Canada

Gaymen and Lesbians arise

No longer in chains

Am now free to say I am gay

From the top of Scrabo Tower

Or from Rough Island at Islandhill

Gaymen and lesbians Stand United

and be Proud to be Gay.

By most standards, I’ve won the queer lottery. I live in one of the first U.S. states to have legalized gay marriage; I have parents who went through only a minimal learning curve when I came out to them; I attend a high school that not only has a gay-straight alliance, but whose gay-straight alliance is active enough that the school newspaper often reports on its activities. I’m lucky. I know that.
And yet, here I am: seventeen years old, proudly queer, out to everyone I know online—but I’m still beyond terrified to tell anyone in school of my sexuality. Skipping over the inevitable self-torture (“If you can’t even come out here, how are you ever going to live out of the closet at all?”), I think it’s safe to blame my fears on friendship.
Here’s the thing: most of my friends are straight guys. And in high school—and possibly everywhere—being gay, bisexual, pansexual, or otherwise Not Straight while remaining close friends with straight people of the same gender is often really, really hard. And it’s not for any one reason, except maybe some combination of a) excessive hormones and b) people’s lack of exposure to actual same-gender relationships. But it’s always there—this unspoken agreement that being gay, while not explicitly bad, isweird, something meant for only one kind of person in a place that isn’t here.
Though within my social circle I only occasionally hear homophobic jokes made, the otherness of who I am slips into seemingly every conversation—like how discussing a recent Game of Thrones episode sends me into an internal panic when one person mentions how unnecessary and gross “those gay scenes” are, or how another has to preface his reluctance to talk to a girl he likes with “I’m not gay, but…,” or how people use the phrase “this is an accepting school” as a punch line rather than as a motto.
And, look, if I were to come out tomorrow—just leap up onto the dining hall table and shout “I DECLARE MY HOMOSEXUALITY!!!!!”*—I doubt I’d lose more than a single friend. I doubt many people would stop talking to me, because this is an accepting school, because I don’t have to fear for my safety, because I’m lucky. But it would be… different. Even at my school, most people really don’t understand m/m attraction. Mostly, I think this is for the obvious reason—when you tell a group of straight high school boys that you’re interested in guys, their minds automatically go to the whole sex part. Equally unhelpful is how some people instantly connect a same-gender friend being gay or bisexual with the fact that the friend could now be attracted to them, and then totally change how they act around him because of it.
That is what scares me: friends suddenly becoming hyperaware of everything I do and say for fear that I’m attracted to them.
I don’t think my feelings are irrational, either. I mean, there’s a reason why every single guy who has come out at my school is friends with almost all girls.
And it’d be so easy for me to say that my fears exist because my friends are bad, or because they’re shallow, or whatever it is, but that’s just not true. These kids, they are funny and cool and intelligent and self-aware and—yeah—they also really don’t have a problem with someone’s sexuality. I can name maybe one person within my social circle who I think would actually be upset. But there is still this general acknowledgement that straight is the strict default, and that queer people only exist “somewhere over there.”
To me, this has always been the hardest thing about being gay in high school—trying to grapple with the fact that even people as awesome as my friends might look at me differently after knowing this one part of who I am.
***
I tell you this because I want to illustrate the way in which being queer influences my everyday life. In large part because of my sexuality, I’m constantly questioning the value of my friendships, constantly feeling isolated by my own “otherness.”
After coming out, in itself such a huge and terrifying moment and one that we always need more YA books to cover, for me and for many other queer teens I’ve talked to, a hell of a lot of our struggles seem to revolve around friendships. But in queer YA, just like in straight YA, a lot of times complex looks at friendship get passed up in favor of more screen time for romantic relationships.
And including romance is great—one can never have too much kissing, especially of the queer variety, and I really hope the recent increase in queer romance books continues. But although romance is a big deal to a lot of us, it’s also not usually the most pressing issue. As much as I sometimes wish it were, my sexuality is not a nice little box that I can slap a ribbon on and push aside when I’m bored. Rather, it seeps into everything I do, and it makes something as basic as maintaining positive friendships with straight people of the same gender a constant struggle.
The YA category is famously riddled with the “Gay Best Friend” trope, where the straight hero has a queer friend/sidekick. In this trope, the hero usually affirms once or twice how totally cool with their friend’s sexuality or gender identity they are and then drops the subject in favor of, like, fighting bad guys and toppling regimes and stuff. And I think that’s good—that the main character is accepting, yeah, and also that the book has some form of queer representation.
But it’s also so rare for us to get the story from the point of view of that gay best friend—to hear about all of the times the straight hero said something homophobic to him without realizing, how many times the friend opened his mouth to point it out and then psyched himself out of it, and how often moments like these have made him feel different, and other, and alone.
And I look at that, that gay best friend trope, and I think: this is my life. The struggles that kid must go through every day—that’s what I deal with, too.
What I’d like to see—and what I hope to write—is more YA books along these lines, books that take hard looks at sexuality in the context of high school friendships and at the myriad of little internal conflicts that result from them.
Struggling with friendships is also in no way limited to a) males and b) sexuality. (I focused on these aspects only because they’re my personal experience.) It extends to all genders and to people all across the queer spectrum. From what I’ve heard, many, many LGBTQIA+ people have a hard time navigating their friendships, and I think it’s hugely important that we have books to guide us.
I mean, reading YA has already helped me immensely in understanding who I am. As far as I’m concerned, there is nothing queer YA can’t do.
***
*By the way, “I Declare My Homosexuality” is going to be the title of my tell-all memoir. Look out, publishing world.

—

John Hansen is a YA writer, a high school student, a blogger, and a former literary agent intern. You can follow him on Twitter at @ABoredAuthor.

If You’re A Gay Man You Should Know About This One Cancer

12/05/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

Republished from HuffPost Gay Voices – 2 May 2015

Getty Images

A recent study of gay and bi men found that 69% had HPV, which can cause genital warts, and 42% of the people with HPV had high-risk HPV, a major cause of anal cancer. These rates are scarily high! Luckily, there is a vaccine for people under 26, so we need to spread that news. Whatever your age, keep that condom on.

Gay athletes ‘not safe’ in Australian sport

11/05/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

Gay athletes ‘not safe’ in Australian sport according to world-first study that also revealed almost all young gay players hide their sexuality out of fear

Gay athletes and spectators unwelcome in Australian sport, survey finds
Almost 9500 people surveyed for the ‘Out on the Fields’ world-first report
Report finds 87 per cent of homosexual young athletes afraid to come out
75 per cent say gay or lesbian fans would not be safe at a sporting event

By LIAM QUINN FOR DAILY MAIL AUSTRALIA

PUBLISHED: 16:52, 10 May 2015 | UPDATED: 17:06, 10 May 2015

Gay athletes are unwelcome in Australian sport, and 87 per cent young homosexual male athletes hide their sexuality from teammates because they fear retaliation Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3075730/Gay-athletes-not-safe-Australian-sport-according-world-study-revealed-young-gay-players-hide-sexuality-fear.

Of those surveyed, 70 per cent feel youth sport in Australia is not safe and supportive for gay people. More than half also said they feared being openly gay would lead to bullying, in addition to 37 per cent who were worried about discrimination from coaches or officials.

A further 75 per cent of respondents said gay or lesbian fans would not be safe at a sporting event.

More than one third of gay men and 19 per cent of lesbians said they have been bullied. Almost 85 per cent said they have heard verbal slurs, such as ‘faggot’ or ‘dyke’, at sporting events.

Andrew Purchas, an openly gay rugby player and founder of the Sydney Convicts, Australia’s first gay rugby union team, said the numbers were shocking.

The ‘Out on the Fields’ report surveyed 9,494 people of mixed sexual orientation about their experiences of homophobia, with a strong focus on team sports Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3075730/Gay-athletes-not-safe-Australian-sport-according-world-study-revealed-young-gay-players-hide-sexuality-fear.

‘We were all alarmed and surprised by the extent and depth of the homophobia that the study found in Australian sports,’ Mr Purchas said.

‘The findings were much worse than we expected, particularly in youth sport and the result that 80% of Australian participants believe that LGB athletes are either not accepted, accepted a little or only moderately accepted in sport is very alarming.

‘Compared to other countries, gay men in Australia were the least likely to feel welcome in sporting culture.’

Victoria University’s Dr. Grant O’Sullivan, one of the report’s seven international experts, said ‘casual homophobic language’ plays a big role in creating an unwelcoming environment.

The report discovered a number of alarming statistics

The findings suggest homophobia is rampant in Australian sport, both on the field and in the stands

‘Often this language is not meant to be hurtful but can be very damaging when heard by those struggling with their sexuality,’ Mr O’Sullivan said.

In response to the report, Australia’s four major football codes and cricket have reaffirmed their commitment to tackle homophobia in sport.

The Australian Football League, Australian Rugby Union, Cricket Australia, Football Federation Australia, and National Rugby League have supported the the idea of joining an advisory board with the Australian Sports Commission and Australian Human Rights Commission to support the development of the ‘Pride in Sport’ index.

In response to the report, Australia’s four major football codes and cricket have reaffirmed their commitment to tackle homophobia in sport

The Australian Government also helped with funding for the investigation

The index will be used to monitor inclusiveness within sporting codes in Australia and will provide Australian sport with a blueprint for good practice and allow an assessment to be made on year on year progress.

The Bingham Cup, an international gay rugby tournament that was first held in 2002, initiated the Out on the Fields survey.

The Australian Government also helped with funding for the investigation.

Out on the Fields report: The key findings

80 per cent of people surveyed have witnessed homophobia in sport

75 per cent believe an openly gay person would not be safe as a spectator at an event

87 per cent of gay male athletes completely or partially closeted while playing youth sport

Spectator stands most likely location of homophobia – ahead of school PE classroom

15 per cent of gay men and 9 per cent of lesbian women physically assaulted in sport

80 per cent believe sport to be more homophobic than the rest of society

16 to 22-year-olds who hide their sexuality from teammates

New Zealand: 88%

Australia: 87%

Canada: 86%

Ireland: 83%

USA: 83%

United Kingdom: 70%

By LIAM QUINN FOR DAILY MAIL AUSTRALIA

PUBLISHED: 16:52, 10 May 2015 | UPDATED: 17:06, 10 May 2015

GO! Athletes builds support network of LGBT high school & college athletes

01/05/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

Republished form Outsports.com – By Lauren Elizabeth Neidigh on Apr 30, 2015, 10:18a +

Many of the GO! Athletes board members attend the annual Nike LGBT Sports Summit.

GO! Athletes has a new board of directors, and they are making a push to connect with as many LGBT athletes, particularly in high school and college, as they can.

As members of the GO! Athletes network, we often hear about how LGBT athletes want a network of friends that they can identify with. At GO! Athletes, we can provide you with just that! We work to create safe spaces for athletes through visibility, advocacy, and education. We have an amazing group of people working on high school and college campuses across the nation. A few of these members are our board of directors, made up of LGBT athletes and coaches. Here they are:

Executive Director Chris Mosier is an inspiration to LGBT athletes. He is dedicated to advocating for trans people in sports, and he is a triathlete. In 2013, he launched the website transathlete.com as a resource for students, athletes, coaches, and administrators to get educated about trans issues. Chris can help LGBT athletes at all levels and is a great person to talk to about your experiences as an LGBT athlete.

Sean Smith, Managing Director, is a former NCAA swimmer and now the Chief of Staff at Imagine Swimming in New York City. As an LGBT athlete, he is a resource for athletes competing at all levels. Sean can help you by sharing his experience with working hard and overcoming adversity as an out athlete. He is extremely dedicated to building relationships and friendships with the members of our network, and would love to have you join us as a member of GO! Athletes.

As the GO! Director of Strategic Initiatives, Nora Cothren is looking forward to her role as an opportunity to guide our network to the next level. She is a former captain and ice hockey player at Smith College. She loves the GO! community and has met many amazing people through her time with GO! Nora believes that each person brings a new perspective that can spark conversation and help us see issues and concepts from different angles.

Katie Barnes, the 2015 Network Director, is a former basketball player and a coach. Katie is passionate about making sports environments safe for all people, regardless of their sexual orientation, gender identity, or gender expression. Current and former LGBT athletes and coaches can look to Katie as a role model for inclusion and courage as an out member of the LGBT community. Through the GO! network, they work to build communication in the LGBT community through conference calls.

Josh Sanders, our Director of External Engagement, speaks across the nation about intersectional issues such as religion, homophobia, sexism, racism, and other topics. He believes that sports are a catalyst for changing culture and impacting the world for the better. As our Director of External Engagement, his mission is to build on our goals of engaging, educating, and empowering LGBTQ athletes and others. Josh will lend a helping hand to young athletes who have struggled with their identities and faced negative situations due to their sexuality or gender identity, in order to make sports an inclusive and positive experience in their lives.
Monica Rochon, our Director of Educational Leadership, is a running back for the Tampa Bay Inferno tackle football team. They believe political education is critical to understanding the history of oppression, power, privilege, and the intersections of identity. As the, GO! director of educational leadership, they want to give social justice education opportunities to current and former athletes. Young LGBT athletes can reach out to Monica to learn about and discuss important issues surrounding race, gender, and sexuality in sports, as well as how to establish a GO! Chapter at their schools.

I’m proud to say I was given the Director of Social Media and Digital Initiatives position and the opportunity to work with these amazing people. I have been swimming since I was 8 years old, competing from age group events to the Olympic Trials and NCAA competitions. Coming from a place where there aren’t many other LGBT athletes, I felt like I fit in with GO! and was more confident being a part of the group. I would love to have you reach out to us via social media, so we can start important conversations about issues and solutions that you are passionate about, and provide you with support.

Our board is excited to be working together towards inclusion, and helping LGBT youth. We encourage you to reach out to any of us through our social media platforms. Promoting equality in sports is a team effort, and we want you on our team. You can check out our website: goathletes.org and learn more about the GO! Athletes network.

Check out GO! Athletes on their Web site or Facebook page.

Tom Luchsinger – Sportsman

01/05/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

King of the Double Life: Olympic hopeful Tom Luchsinger could hide being gay from the cameras but not the mirror

By Tom Luchsinger on Dec 14, 2014, 5:48p 6

Tom Luchsinger is sponsored by Arena. – Facebook

How Olympic hopeful and national champion swimmer Tom Luchsinger wrestled with being gay in front of the cameras – and his mirror. The former Univ. of North Carolina standout shares his experiences in the closet.

April 2013. I wake up and look at the clock. 2:58 AM. I have a long day ahead of me.

I don’t have to be up for another two hours and five minutes for the first of three workouts. Yes, I’m that exact. In the wee hours of twilight my mind begins to race. I can feel my heart rate rising and my body beginning to perspire as I think, “You’re gay.”

Trying to ignore the thought I pick up the book sitting on my nightstand. Sometimes reading calms my mind and help me run away from this terrifying idea. Not this time. My internal dialogue proceeds to get more and more aggressive.

“You’re a fag. You’re a queen. You’re undeserving of love. You’re never going to amount to anything.”

After ruling out sleep – let’s be honest, no one is falling back asleep with that kind of thought process – I walk over to my desk where I begin to work. In addition to my athletic and academic responsibilities on campus, I’m an active member of the athletic department on four different committees that operate on campus. These organizations are dedicated to making the University of North Carolina the best public education institution in the country. They range from meetings with the many athletic directors, to bringing kids with cancer to sporting events, to helping freshman adjust to life in college and organizing community service opportunities for the varsity teams.

For most athletes, one of these responsibilities would have been daunting. Not for me – four wasn’t even enough.

After spending some time working, I look at the clock. 3:30 AM. That half hour felt like three days. Time crawls as I try to repress the conflicting thoughts in my head. The second I stop, my mind becomes active again.

“FAGGOT! QUEER!”

I get up and walk to my master bathroom feeling defeated, worthless. Weak. I undress and get ready to jump in the shower. I look at my physique in the mirror. Nothing seems good enough. My lower abs aren’t as defined as my upper abs, giving my middle section a strange and disproportioned look. My chest isn’t big enough for my wide frame. My back is so swayed that my teammates nicknamed me “spineless,” something that feels pretty accurate as I live in silent shame.

You name it, I hate it about myself.

I jump in the shower. After washing and rinsing my body and hair, I towel dry and walk over to the dresser where I keep my sweats. I want comfort, not style, since I’m going to lie awake for another hour or so. As I open up my drawers, I look at the 12 ACC Medals, 10 All-American Certificates, three All-American Trophies, and ACC Men’s Swimmer of the Year accolades that have accumulated on top of my dresser. Four years of accomplishments glaring back at me, titles my teammates would kill for, hold no value to me.

“You are still a queen. You are still a fairy!”

Shaking my head I pull out my favorite North Carolina sweatshirt and some of my lifeguarding sweatpants. I put the sweats on and curl up in bed.

3:51AM. Seventy-two more minutes to kill.

I reach for the rosary beads hanging from my headboard. When my grandmother passed away, she left each of her grandchildren a string of rosary beads. Every morning I thought this would be the cure; Saying the rosary would make the thoughts go away. The prayers would make me a straight man, the man I wanted to be but couldn’t figure out.

As I lay in bed with my eyes closed, I begin saying the Hail Mary and Our Father. Praying the gay away. Or trying to, anyway. Seventy minutes of praying and nothing changes. I still have the nasty internal dialogue, I still hate every part of myself and I still feel worthless, unaccomplished.

5:03 AM. My alarm blares. I don’t need it. I never fell back asleep.

* * *

Winning my national title in June of 2013 changed my life. All of a sudden I was projected to make the 2016 Olympic Team. I had attention from fans, I had a sponsor, and I found a new responsibility to keep the swimming community updated on the majority of my life.

I hated social media, probably because I was terrified of being outed on the Internet. After becoming a professional swimmer it seemed that social media was going to be a necessary evil. I left USA Swimming Nationals that year with a Twitter account, an Instagram account and an updated Facebook page. Talk about social media overload!

My fear was not just limited to social media, it extended to the mainstream press. The mere sight of a camera or a photographer on the pool deck was enough to cause an interior panic so strong it would ruin my race. I was a small reason that these cameras were on the deck. Sure, photographers wanted pictures of the newest national champion. Swim fans wanted to see how I got ready for a race and how I strategized my races.

Yet I always wondered, “Why would anyone want to take a picture of me? Why would anyone want to film me? I’m nothing but an unaccomplished, closeted queer.”

With this new semi-public image, I was expected to show people the ins and outs of my life: where I was going, whom I was with, and what we were doing. Where previously I flew under the radar, I was suddenly expected to do interviews. How was I supposed to be comfortable in front of a camera when I couldn’t stomach looking at myself in the mirror? The attention that some athletes revel in was causing me turmoil.

Whenever I posted anything on Twitter, Instagram or Facebook, I would read it over 10, 15, 20 times to make sure no one could infer anything about my sexuality. Whenever I was interviewed I would watch the online clips over and over again to make sure I seemed masculine. I seemed fully confident in front of the media, coaches, parents and teammates but completely inadequate, worthless and insecure behind closed doors.

I was the King of the Double Life.

An entire year went on with me living this double life. In June 2014-almost one year to the day after winning my national title-I made a deal with myself. If I didn’t repeat my championship title, the way I was living my life needed to change. For my own personal health, I needed to come out. I needed to accept myself and stop hating myself.

Tom Luchsinger of the USA competes during the Men’s 200m Butterfly prelims of the 15th FINA World Championships on July 30, 2013 in Barcelona. (Photo by Alexander Hassenstein/Getty Images)

My personal ultimatum came at a time where everything seemed to be spiraling out of control. I felt like garbage in the water. I couldn’t hit a pace time if my life depended on it. My anxiety was through the roof. I was constantly sweating, to the point where I couldn’t keep hydrated. The stress hormones in my blood were triple the concentrations from my previous readings. My resting heart rate was double what it usually was-typically resting in the 30s and 40s, it was now in the 70s and 80s.

My body was beginning to demand a release. I couldn’t take it much longer.

I didn’t repeat my title. I wasn’t even close. A deeply disappointing seventh place.

I decided to keep the deal to myself.

* * *

August 2014. I was petrified, but started to reach out.

My very first confidant was a man named Warren. I knew he would understand what it was like to be a closeted swimmer for he had done it himself, graduating from UNC in 2003. We met up for dinner in New York City and I shared my story with him. He encouraged me, showed me that everything was going to be alright and helped me through the process of telling my family and friends.

My older brother, Ryan, was the first person I told in my family. He had been through a lot in his life, often feeling like an outcast. I felt that he would be the safest and most understanding person to tell. He didn’t even bat a proverbial eyelash. Twenty minutes after I told him, we were making jokes about it. Nothing changed.

My best friend Kate could always could read me like a book; She knew something was wrong. Because we have had an extremely close friendship that has lasted over a decade, I trusted her to keep my most shameful secret.

“Oh my gosh! Why didn’t you tell me sooner?! I’m so happy for you!”

Not a flinch. Lots of excitement. Typical Kate.

Telling my parents proved to be the most emotionally difficult. I was laying in a king size bed at the Hyatt Regency Hotel in Chicago after an appearance for my agency, waiting for a flight back to Baltimore. After lying to my parents for so many years, the stress leading up to my big conversation with them caused my normally clear complexion to become riddled with acne — the kind that only the perfect trifecta of finals, lack of sleep and too much caffeine seemed to produce. I had a cold-sore crater on my bottom lip-something that never happened.

I originally wanted to tell my parents face to face, but it was clear that my body wouldn’t allow that to happen.

I called my parents from half a continent away and, like any self-respecting national champion talking with his mom and dad, immediately began to cry.

“I’m gay. And I’m scared.”

They weren’t. They were great.

“Are you the same man we raised for the past 23 years?” They asked.

With a sinking feeling that I had let them down, I told them, “Yes.”

“Then, who cares?”

I lucked out to get them as my parents.

After that I began telling people in casual conversation. I told one of my teammates while we were talking between sets at a workout. I told another friend while talking casually on the phone. It was shocking how easy something that caused me so much pain and anxiety simply began to roll off my tongue. The best part: No one seemed to care!

For as long as I can remember I tried to repress my feelings through athletics. I tried to hide who I was through medals and accomplishments. I tried to pray away my sexuality. I tried to shower it off. Nothing ever worked. After years of stress, hate, and disgust toward myself, I have come to accept who I am. I am a proud gay man living my life the best way I know how, surrounded by people who love and support me!

For years, my sexuality was the quality I was most ashamed of about myself. But now it seems that being gay is one of the characteristics I’m most proud of. I have accomplishments linked to my name that most heterosexual men will never have. I’ve overcome the fear of being rejected from the people I love the most.

My friendships have gotten stronger because of my self acceptance. My smile is a lot more genuine and surfaces much more frequently. I laugh a lot more. My body has time to recover from a workout because I’m actually an easy-going person. I have found qualities-both physical and emotional-that I like about myself – though that’s still a work in progress. My number of good days far out number my bad days.

I’m still the same person I have always been, just a hell of a lot better at it.

You can follow Tom Luchsinger on Twitter @TomLuchsinger.

Edited by Cyd Zeigler.

A friend no matter what!

26/04/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

Gay teen asked to prom by straight best friend: ‘You’re my brother, so be my date?’

A devoted friend has proven his staying power after asking his gay best mate to prom – despite being straight himself.

known as Jacob, created a giant banner to ask his dear pal, known as Anthony, to the coming of age ceremony.

The friends embrace after Anthony accepts ‘You’re hella gay, I’m hella str8, but you’re like my brother, so be my d8?’ Jacob wrote on the giant red banner, which he surprised his pal with in the school corridor.
Sharing his story with the world, Anthony wrote: ‘Guess who got asked to prom! BY A STRAIGHT GUY (Army pants). he’s my best friend, and a real man given the fact he has the guts to fulfill my gay student council dream of always helping out planning dances, and never getting asked.’

How it all happened (via Imgur)

‘I couldn’t ask for a better person in my life.’
‘Thank you Jacob can’t wait for May 2nd!’
A picture was also shared on social media of the pair embracing, a massive smile on Anthony’s face.
How unbelievably sweet is this? Would you do this for a friend?

Breaking the Gay Code in the Movies

26/04/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

Breaking the Gay code in the movies shows how, before obviously gay characters were allowed on the big screen, subtle (and not so subtle) indicators were used. Here are our favourite 12.

The Advocate: BY CHRISTOPHER HARRITY AND TRUDY RING

APRIL 23 2015 5:00 AM

It took a long time for Hollywood to call a spade a spade. Then it took even longer for positive representation, so get prepared for weak but psychotic murderers and the like. Now that it’s all out in the open, the hide-and-seek aspects of these old film characters seem like risqué fun. Back then, for those in the know, there was nothing ambiguous here — like a big wink from Hollywood.

John “Plato” Crawford (Sal Mineo), Rebel Without a Cause, 1955
In the tribute montage above (which includes some beefcake of Mineo for good measure) it’s hard to see how people didn’t understand that Plato was, well, in love with James Dean’s character. And Dean is doing nothing to discourage it. Just follow Mineo’s eyes. The mirror on his locker, with the photo of Alan Ladd, are like giant hairpins dropping. — C.H.

Luz (Mercedes McCambridge), Giant, 1956
OK, first of all, her name is Luz. Get it? Plus Giant gets some kind of an award for the most gay and bisexual actors ever in one film: James Dean, Rock Hudson, Sal Mineo, Earl Holliman, and while Mercedes never personally came out, she played the most fiercely dykey roles on-screen to perfection. — C.H.

Jo (Barbara Stanwyck), Walk on the Wild Side, 1966
Even the ferociously closeted actress Barbara Stanwyck admitted that her character, the madam of the bordello, Jo Courtney, is a lesbian. And in the spooky way that only Hollywood can create, the love interest/prostitute is Capucine, one of the most beautiful but icily sexless women to have graced the silver screen. Stanwyck smacks Capucine around some, which is the equivalent at the time of hot lesbian sex, at least in the male film creator’s eyes. Don’t miss the very hot Jane Fonda as a baby whore and Anne Baxter as a Mexican. — C.H.

Dill Harris (John Megna) and Scout (Mary Badham), To Kill a Mockingbird, 1962
I would love to have been on the set of this film when the director, Robert Mulligan, told John Megna, the actor playing Dill, to swish it up somewhat. Megna actually nails it without a lot of fuss. Dill Harris is based on Truman Capote, author Harper Lee’s childhood friend. Lee later helped Truman with his work on In Cold Blood. That the Harper character is named Scout and has a haircut that looks as it was done with an egg beater is sophisticated gender role-play for the time.— C.H.

Brandon (John Dall) and Phillip (Farley Granger) Rope, 1948
Alfred Hitchcock was fascinated by gay and lesbian characters, and there are sly and not so sly references in many of his films. Rope is fairly overt. The movie is based on a play, which was based on the the true story of Nathan Leopold and Richard Loeb, who murdered 14-year-old Bobby Franks in Chicago in 1924. This time bi actor Farley Granger gets to be smacked around some for being hysterical and nelly, which is definitely code for gay. But the biggest whiff of lavender is that two young well-dressed male roommates are throwing an odd dinner–cocktail party hybrid. Who does that? James Stewart’s Rupert Cadell may or may not be gay in intention, but if the original casting choice of Ray Milland had played the role we would have been much more likely to see him as gay. — C.H.

Phillip Vandamm (James Mason) and Leonard (Martin Landau), North by Northwest, 1959
In another gay-inclusive Hitchcock classic, suave villain Phillip Vandamm has a thing going with Eve Kendall (Eva Marie Saint), who’s actually an American spy trying to find out how he’s exporting secrets to our Cold War–era enemies. He also may have a thing going with his devoted “right hand,” Leonard, or at least Leonard would like that to be the case. Leonard is suspicious of Eve, leading Vandamm to say, “I think you’re jealous.” “Call it my woman’s intuition,” Leonard responds. He’s undoubtedly jealous but he’s also on to her, and he ends up pursuing Eve and the film’s reluctant hero, Roger Thornhill (Cary Grant), in a climactic chase over Mount Rushmore. —T.R.

Joel Cairo (Peter Lorre), The Maltese Falcon, 1941
The effete, curly-haired, heavily perfumed Joel Cairo is among the shady characters seeking the priceless title statuette; detective Sam Spade (Humphrey Bogart) goes along with the quest in order to find out who killed his business partner. Cairo was clearly gay in the 1930 Dashiell Hammett novel on which the film is based; movies of the era couldn’t be quite so overt, but Lorre’s Cairo is so effeminate that he fits a certain stereotype of a gay man. Also, as The Peter Lorre Companion notes, he suggestively fondles an umbrella handle and gets his hand on Spade’s posterior briefly. Film experts have also observed that Kasper Gutman (Sydney Greenstreet) and his “gunsel,” Wilmer (Elisha Cook Jr.), seem to be a couple. — T.R.

Mrs. Danvers (Judith Anderson), Rebecca, 1940
In Hitchcock’s first U.S. release, soon after British aristocrat Maxim de Winter (Laurence Olivier) brings his new bride (Joan Fontaine) home to his great estate Manderley, we learn that Mrs. Danvers, the housekeeper, “adored Rebecca,” Maxim’s now-deceased first wife. That point is driven home as “Danny” fondles Rebecca’s lingerie — “Did you ever see anything so delicate?” she tells Fontaine’s character. “Look, you can see my hand through it!” She resents the presence of the second Mrs. De Winter (“Even in the same dress you couldn’t compare”) and does all she can to get rid of the new wife, and she also fondly remembers brushing Rebecca’s hair and laughing with her at the idea that Rebecca could ever love any man. Every housekeeper is that devoted, right? — T.R.

Bruno (Robert Walker), Strangers on a Train, 1951
In this Hitchcock film about a plot to trade murders , Farley Granger plays the hot straight guy that the unctuous Bruno, played by Robert Walker, inveigles into his lurid plan. Bruno’s nelliness would have been enough — plus he practically drools on Farley’s extra-wide lapels — but Hitchcock wants no ambiguity, so two-tone spectator shoes and flashy dressing gowns are used for the less-than-perceptive. — C.H.

Addison DeWitt (George Sanders), All About Eve, 1950
One of the greatest pleasures in a film with many is Sanders’s performance as drama critic Addison DeWitt, with his pitch-perfect delivery of Joseph L. Mankiewicz’s sardonic dialogue: “To those of you who do not read, attend the theater, listen to unsponsored radio programs, or know anything of the world in which you live, it is perhaps necessary to introduce myself,” he says in a voice-over as the movie begins. Addison is the ultimate condescending snob, described by one character as a “venomous fishwife”; in a less censored time, that would be “bitchy queen.” Along with his high-toned manner of speaking, his impeccable clothing and cigarette holder signal gayness, and he seems interested in women only to make them stars. “That I should want you at all suddenly strikes me as the height of improbability,” he says to the titular Eve (Anne Baxter). Addison is said to have been based on one of two acerbic New York critics of the 20th century, George Jean Nathan (apparently straight) or Alexander Woollcott, who was gay. Woollcott inspired other film portrayals as well; read on. — T.R.

Waldo Lydecker (Clifton Webb), Laura, 1944
Another character based on Woollcott, Waldo Lydecker is just as bitchy as Addison DeWitt and a lot more queeny. A powerful columnist and radio commentator, he’s helped the film’s title character to rise in the advertising business and he’s obsessed with her, but there are several indicators that his obsession isn’t of a sexual nature — those interests lie elsewhere. Key signs: the elaborately decorated apartment (“It’s lavish, but I call it home”), the walking stick, the perfection in dress and diction, and the fact that he answers questions from a hunky detective while in the bathtub. Played unforgettably by gay actor Clifton Webb, Waldo is the most fascinating character in the film, and he’d agree with that assessment. “In my case, self-absorption is completely justified,” he says at one point. “I have never discovered any other subject quite so worthy of my attention.” — T.R.

Sheridan Whiteside (Monty Woolley), The Man Who Came to Dinner, 1942
Is it a sign of our culture’s dumbing-down or just its fragmentation that we can’t think of any contemporary figure who’d inspire three fictional portrayals? Yet another character based on Woollcott is famed critic Sheridan Whiteside, a sophisticated New Yorker who gets stuck at a bourgeois Ohio couple’s home when he slips on the ice and breaks his leg while visiting. In this film adaptation of the George S. Kaufman–Moss Hart play, “Sherry” (played by gay actor Monty Woolley, a pal of Cole Porter’s) make lifes miserable for the couple, his nurse, and his secretary, and encourages his hosts’ son and daughter to rebel. Like Addison DeWitt and Waldo Lydecker, he does not lack for ego; “Is there a man in the world who suffers as I do from the gross inadequacies of the human race?” he wonders. Also like them, he has an effete manner and acid tongue that mark him as a certain type of gay man. And when a local journalist asks him how he thinks Ohio women stack up, he responds, “I’ve never gone in for stacking women up, so I really can’t say.” Whiteside entertains some showbiz visitors during his convalescence. They include playwright Beverly Carlton, who talks about seducing South Seas maidens but, as played by Reginald Gardiner, reads as pretty gay, and after all, the character is based on Noël Coward. Then there’s comedian Banjo (Jimmy Durante), inspired by Harpo Marx, with whom Woollcott was in love. Whether Harpo reciprocated is subject to debate. — T.R.

Links:

Straight best friends become first-time boyfriends in most adorable internet thread ever

26/04/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

You have to read this

20 APRIL 2015 | BY JOE MORGAN

It’s the oldest gay story in the book.
Two guy best friends, both ‘straight’ to the other, have a drunken fumble and realise they have deeper feelings than they realised.
Well, maybe it’s not the oldest story, but it’s definitely a good one.
This happened to two guys in Georgia, and it all developed over Yik Yak.
The app, much like Whisper, allows people to share their secrets anonymously with strangers according to their location.
The original poster (he’s in green) asks for advice: ‘Last night, my best friend and I got really drunk and slept together. We’re both guys. It was fucking great.
‘But he’s “straight” and I’m questioning AND IM FREAKING OUT WHAT DO I DO HELP.’
Read the whole thing below, it’s got a great ending:

LINK:Straight best friends become first-time boyfriends in most adorable internet thread ever

Watch these five people make a powerful point about family

12/04/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

This heart-warming video proves family is family, whether you’re gay or straight

Reprinted from GayStarNews: 11 APRIL 2015 | BY MEL SPENCER

Connor describes what family means to him

Photo: YouTube

What do you think of when you hear the word ‘family’?
Perhaps it’s your parents laughing and squabbling on a car journey, or maybe it’s the kids you’re planning in the future.
Five willing volunteers, Ricardo, Jan, Connor, Yvonne and Danielle, were asked to explain what ‘family’ means to them, revealing the beautifully individual ways their parents have shaped their lives, and what this means for their future relationships.
After sharing their dreams for their weddings and children, it came as a shock to many viewers that – spoiler alert – all five video stars are gay.
By exploring their everyday experiences of family life, the video hopes to prove to critics of same-sex marriage and adoption that a loving family, in whatever form it takes, is something to be celebrated – and, surprisingly enough, has little to do with a person’s sexual orientation.
‘I think a happy family is the kind of family that creates individuals, that are independent as well,’ explained Yvonne.
‘Kids that can be strong and can be very energetic, very out there, but they know they can have that place they can always go back to.’
Many viewers appear to have been shocked by the plot twist at the end of the video.
One commenter, Megan Tomlinson, posted: ‘So glad I liked this video before I knew the ending, made me feel extra happy.’
‘Bit of a shock at the end. Excellent video,’ said another, Conor O’Flaherty.
The video, produced by Irish YouTube channel Facts, comes ahead of the country’s referendum on same-sex marriage, taking place on 22 May.
Watch the video here: