ACOMSDave

Community Journalist

  • Home
  • Community Journalist
  • Events
  • Media Page and Press Kit
    • Projects and Work
  • Resources & Documents
    • LGBTQ+ Support Groups and Documents
  • NIGRA
  • Archives
  • Contact

Archives for February 2015

Report: Senators, Queers and Northerners

17/02/2015 By David McFarlane Leave a Comment

Senators, Queers and Northerners – originally printed in Gay Star Winter 91 Vol 2 No 5 (which cost £0.50 to punters)

 
On Saturday October 26 the Northern Ireland Gay Rights Association held a Tenth Anniversary Victory Celebration in the Unemployed Resource Centre, in Central Belfast.  The tenth anniversary in question was that of Jeff Dudgeon and NIGRA in Strasbourg over the government of the United Kingdom; the actual date was being October 22nd.  Happenstantially, it was the actual third anniversary of David Norris’s victory, although we did not know that at the time.
The other guest was Stephen Jeffrey-Poulter the author of Peers, Queers and Commons, a book recounting the past forty years of gay liberation politics in the UK.  Stephen was amazed at the turnout in Belfast, which was roughly fifty gay women and men and some non-curvaceous persons.  He had spoken to a grand total of three people in Edinburgh the day before.
Admittedly, there was food and drink on offer, which consisted of lots of dead beasts wrapped in various artistic forms.  There were also a lot of cocktail sausages, or “pig’s dicks” as they were called by someone, who did not come into the meeting room – I couldn’t help noticing that the pig’s dicks had diminished by about three quarters when we emerged from the actual talkfest.
[You meet a nicer class of person at NIGRA functions].
 
“Talkfest” is an appropriate word as the celebratory air affected even by Mr Jeffrey-Poulter, who had a rather sombre tale to tell.  The whole thing was introduced by PA MagLochlainn, with Jeff Dudgeon speaking first.  He said he’d been loitering about Westminster in 1967, when “the Act” was being discussed.  Judging from Stephen’s book, practically all the others in the Strangers Gallery during that time were Gay.
Heaven knows how they kept their faces straight while listening to some of the nonsense talked, but that was the way of the world the way of the world then.  Gay people were, generally speaking, closeted and ashamed.
About t=his own assault on the UK government, he said that he “knew politics” and “how to organise” and that saw him through.  His parents also were supportive and his mother opined that “…even a black beetle’s mother loves it…”, one got a general sense that the audience were discommoded at this but decided to laugh.  Jeff demanded a drastic change in the law in effect equality for Gay women and men.
Soldiers are we?
David Norris spoke next and abused the Soldiers of Destiny quite strongly, (flicking through David Alvey’s book Irish Education – The Case for Secular Reform, – earlier in the day – one could not help but noticed that the Soldiers of Destiny [Fianna Fail] have been most active in reforming education in Eire.  David described himself as a “retired homosexual” and made use of the libidinousness of the likes of Family Solidarity and various judges making use his allegedly energetic sex life and trying to humiliate him by describing homo-sex (which is, of course, invariably anal sex).  This was used by the Save Ulster from Sodomy people, and as David said they are never subjected to the same treatment.  “How would Donal Barrington like to have his sexual dealings with his shrivelled up old stick of a wife made public?”
Galloper Norris
David took a quick gallop through the history of homosexual law in Ireland.  Under the old Brehon law it was not illegal, but it could be used as grounds for divorce by a wife if her husband slept with a boy “when it was not strictly necessary”.
The monks were, of course, very put out about this and wrote about people’s sexual misbehaviour at great length.  In 1533 Henry VIII of England [it became Britain in 1536 with the Act of Union between England Wales] stole the monasteries and their lands.  Thereby, the ecclesiastical courts were absorbed into the state’s statues, and the “abominable act of buggery” became a law oppressing the general population, and not just men who had chosen life-long celibacy.
This was not extended to Ireland, David says this was an accident, but the Poynings Law which made the Irish parliament a vassal of Westminster was not two-way.  Laws passed by Dublin had to be approved by the Imperial Parliament as it took to styling itself, but Dublin was not obliged to pass every law passed in Westminster.
Grooms
In 1631, the Earl of Castlehaven was snitched on by his own son, he [the Earl] was having a relationship with his groom.  Condemned by his Peers he was executed.  A bishop, Atherton of Lismore, started a campaign to make sodomy illegal in Ireland.  . This became law, a hanging offence, on November 1634.The first victim, by a nice irony, was the self-same bishop, who was having a similar relationship to the Earl with his own groom.  This man, David said ran alongside the tumbril in tears until he was driven off with a whip.
There was a jump of several hundred years and we came to the Offences Against the Person Act 1861 which was a reforming act, replacing hanging with threat of life imprisonment and the Labouchiere Amendment of 1885.  The latter criminalised “gross indecency” between males.  The disparity in treatment of Gay men and lesbians in this matter was brought up in David’s own case – and the judges decided that while women might be able to behave indecently they could not be grossly indecent – “perhaps it is unladylike”.
A big problem facing David’s case was the de Valera Constitution of 1937 with its provisions on the family.  Mary Robinson, David’s barrister discovered [invented?] “unenumerated rights” in Bunreacht na hEireann, and used these to bring about the right to contraception in the Republic.
The absurdity of the same judges putting their names to ajudgement claiming that anti-homsexual laws had to remain on the Statue book because Gays had to be terrorised into marriage and then handing down annulments because of a spouse’s homosexuality was touched on. So was a particular case from the ‘70s where two men had been spotted by a cop emerging from the closet in a public toilet.  They were foolish enough to own up to the fact that they had been having sex.  In court the younger man claimed that he had “proof” that he could be “cured” and could get married.  The other man who was held [more] responsible had his wiefe in cort as a character witness.
Show Trial
David and Mary Robinson (other lawyers wer mentioned, Garret Sheehan especially) had wanted a “political show trial” in Dublin to expose the conspiracy of silence on the topic.
The State had tried to discredit each of the witnesses.  They decided that one of the expert witnesses was Gay.  One of them was – they choose the wrong man: a Dr Speigl who had got the American Psychological Association to remove homosexuality from its list of diseases – “…instantly hundreds of millions of people throughout the world wer cured – wouldn’t it be nice if flu, or the common clold could be cured with a show of hands!”
Despite all this David said that the Republic is a more comlex state and society tan many people think, “We elected the first woman MP.  Had the first woman Cabinet Minister.  Have a woman President. I was the first openly Gay man to be elcted to a national legislature.  There are sexual orientation clauses written into a number of laws and this may become a common practice.”  [The Soldiers of Destiny may well be led by a woman, Mary O Rourke quite soon].
Stephen [Jeffrey-Pulter] felt rather as if he were the stick to David’s carrot, he had been in six cities in as many days and asked forgiveness if he became somewhat confused.  He launched into the 1967 Act immediately describing it, despite its mere six pages, as a “vicious little number”.  It actually increased terms of imprisonment for some acts and excluses Service personnel and merchant seamen, there is also a procuring clause in it under which a person introducing two other parties to each other could b eimprisoned themselves.
[In case some people are confused by all this, it should be said that the period between the Wolfenden Report 1957 and the enactment of “the Act” in ’67 brought about an unprecedented level of discussion of homosexuality.  Most of this was carried on at a vastly higher level than people are used to today.  Even the popular press took a reasonable and usually sympathetic attitude towards the matter.  The Act was supported by nearly all of Fleet Street.
It was this atmosphere that encouraged the Homosexual Law Reform Society to become the Campaign for Homosexual Equality (CHE).  The law itself was not a great victory but the situation created by (mostly) closeted Gay women and men was of great benefit].
Unfortunately this cannot be said of the position today.  The popular press is full of full of foul-mouthed abuse of gay people, and the AIDS crisis has spurred them on to even greater spleen.  This led to the enactment of Clause 28 in 1988, “a complicated political cocktail” which made explicit what was implicit in the 1967 Sexual Offences Act, to give it its full title – homosexuality is inferior.
Stephen sprinted through gay history, in 1969 there was the Stonewall riot, where (as Norris said) it was “silly little queens, despised in the scene itself who did the fighting” – of New York’s finest [big butch Irishmen, with their biggest muscle in their brain cavity].  This led to the setting-up of GLF (Gay Liberation Front) in London in 1970 and – gasp! – in Belfast in ’71.  Stephen obviously regards this as the Golden Age of Gay Liberation.
But the CHE (Campaing for Homosexual Equality – organised in England and Wales because the Act was not extended to Scotland or Northern Ireland) organised conferences which were attended by thousands of people.  These included GLF activists who were also members of CHE, it had something called “national membership”.
This is why the differences between Stonewall, with its allegedly “respectable” approach and OutRage and ActUp are not quite the same as the differences between GLF and CHE,  Firstly NIGRA and SMG (the Scottish Minorities Group) – later SHRG) had very strong GLF connections.  Secondly, Stonewall and OUtRge are very small and by and large London-bound.
CHE went down the tubes after it moved from Manchester to London.
AIDS has also brought bisexuality to the fore and bisexuals find no place for themselves in Gay groups.  What is needed is something like what Jeff had asked for, an Equal Opportunities Act not just within the UK but for all of Europe.  Most European states have more rational laws than the UK; 18 year old men who in Denmark can have a perfectly legal association with the same footing as marriage, could be put in prison if they decided to settle in the UK.
Stephen ended by quoting from the GLF Manifesto.
The Dog that didn’t bark
The treatment of the local newspapers of the above celebration – which is quite important, what other element within civil society in the North has changed a law for the good in the past twenty years? – was a case of “the dog that didn’t bark”.  Not a word was printed about the event, not even in their What’s On columns.  Radio Ulster’s Sunday Sequence had interviews with “Gerard” and with David Norris, but not with Stephen Jeffrey-Poulter or, surprisingly, with Jeff Dudgeon.  Radio Ulster gave a lot of time to the first Gay Pride festivities.
I went out in the middle of the meet around the corner to the Sunday News office but the journos who had expressed interest were out in the pub.  I have been told that “we weren’t that far away”.  Fair enough, but there ae half a dozen pubs they could have been using, and anyway, why should the makers of the news have to search the streets for the reporters of the news?
Fr Pat Buckley, gave the whole of his column in the following week’s Sunday News to the implications of the celebration.  The Irish News carried an article on Monday October 28 on a groups set up by NI AIDS Helpline for carers of PWAs.  Generally, the Irish News does not handle Gay stories, but it has taken to reporting sleazy stories about cottaging and so forth.  Its television critic chose to whinge about having the word “gay” stolen as well as “out” when discussing the eight hours of Gay programming on BBC 2 television.  Most of what he wrote was about one of the homophobes, Auberon Waugh – should the Beeb not have a number of Gay women and men on every night telling the viewers why they dislike the socio-sexual goings-on?  The Belfast Telegraph also takes a high and mighty attitude to Gay people.  This did not prevent one of its pompous columnists, one Laurence White, from sneering about Gay people wanting representation on the St Patrick’s Day Parade.
Sunday Life, the companion paper to the BT has decided to get right down into the gutter and attack gay men in particular, there was a slighting story about the Gay Pride march, there was a full page on Hazelbank on the northern shore of Belfast Lough which apparently is hiving with predatory homosexuals.  The same edition carried an editorial condemning homosexuals in the same breath as drunken hooligans and drug [ab]users.
In the cross-channel press, as Radio Ulster rather coyly describes it, the Independent and the Guardian are pro-Gay.  The Independent regularly, unfortunately, carries obituaries of lesbians and homosexual men, the latest one being Tom of Finland.
Scotland on Sunday and so far as one can tell the Glasgow Herald and the Scotsman (the companion paper to SonS) have good policies on Gay mattes.
In Northern Ireland we have no friends among the press except Sunday News, which may be dragged down with the News Letter, but this seems to rather little effect, on The Stand on BBC1 NI, a sixth form student asked the chief executive of Amnesty International about the organisation’s attitude to homosexuality..

Further Reading: Stephen Jeffrey-Poulter

Filed Under: History Tagged With: david norris, gay conference 1991, Jeff Dudgeon, stephen jeffrey-poulter

Gay Star News has new shareholder

17/02/2015 By David McFarlane Leave a Comment

Lord Browne invests in Gay Star News. Lord Browne of Madingley has become a shareholder in Gay Star news, taking a 12.5% stake,on the 12th February 2015.
Lord Browne wrote The Glass Closet, after his resignation as CEO of BP, seven years ago.  He has continued to work for greater openeness in the corporate world for LGBT people in business.
 

Filed Under: History Tagged With: gay star news, lord browne, shareholder

Gay Russian couple have just won a major award

17/02/2015 By David McFarlane Leave a Comment

Image and video hosting by TinyPic
Photographed by Danish photographer Mads Nissen, it is part of a larger project called Homophobia In Russia highlighting what life is like for the LGBTI community under anti-gay laws
He has said he sees the image, shot in St Petersburg, as a ‘modern-day Romeo and Juliet’ story about two people in love but facing outside forces who want to deny them that love.

‘Today, terrorists use graphic images for propaganda. We have to respond with something more subtle, intense and thoughtful,’ World Press Photo jury member Alessia Glaviano said in a statement.

Nissen won a €10,000 euro ($11,330) cash prize.
– See more at: http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/incredible-picture-gay-russian-couple-has-just-won-major-award120215#sthash.rWNLhnYa.dpuf.

Filed Under: History Tagged With: award, couple, danish, photographer, Russian

Politics – Azerbaijan gay group forced to close over safety fears

17/02/2015 By David McFarlane Leave a Comment

Co-founder of Nefes committed suicide last year over persecution
12 FEBRUARY 2015 | BY TOM ANA
Founder of Nefes Isa Shakhmarli committed suicide with a rainbow flag in 2014.

One of the only LGBTI rights group operating in Azerbaijan has announced it is being forced to close today (12 February).
Nefes (which means ‘Breath’) has said the increased arrests and persecution has forced them to make a decision:
They cannot risk the personal safety of its members any longer, and will close.
At the beginning of 2014, former Nefes leader Isa Shakhmarli hanged himself with a rainbow flag in his apartment.
‘I am leaving you. God bless you. This country and this world are not for me,’ he said in his suicide note. ‘This world is not colorful enough for my colors. Farewell.’
While the death was seen as a significant loss for the community, it helped kick start a new found passion among members of the group.
But then, once they renewed their campaigns, activists of the group reported they were subject to raids and travel restrictions.
And in September, one of Nefes’ founding members became a national target after news of his engagement to his male partner went viral in the press. It led to harassment and threats of violence.
The couple attempted to seek asylum in another country, but unconfirmed reports claimed their attempts to flee was blocked by Azerbaijani authoritities who allegedly confiscated their passports.
And earlier this year, their website was hacked by suspected religious extremists. A message stating ‘We Will Destroy You All’ ‘ was posted on the main page alongside an image of a jihadist flag.
Other members of Nefes have reported other incidents including hate speech, physical attacks and even torture.

In an interview published late last year, Shakhmarli said LGBT Azerbaijan people struggle because it is a homophobic, strict Muslim country and many cannot find a job. This means 90% are forced to remain closeted.
He also said his family could not accept his sexuality.
– See more at: http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/gay-man-20-hangs-himself-rainbow-flag-azerbaijan230114#sthash.RVbI3WWG.dpuf

In an interview published late last year, Shakhmarli said LGBTI Azerbaijan people struggle because it is a homophobic, strict Muslim country and many cannot find a job. This means 90% are forced to remain closeted.
He also said his family could not accept his sexuality.
‘I want LGBTs to be brave. I live separately from my family in my own house, I have my own job, I can do everything myself,’ Shakhmarli said in the interview, his parting words to the world.
‘If you want, you can achieve.’

– See more at: http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/azerbaijans-only-gay-group-forced-close-over-safety-fears120215#sthash.mCYHRc8h.dpuf

Filed Under: Anti-Bullying & Homophobia Tagged With: azerbaijan, gay, homophobia, safety

History -Surviving the Nazis, Only to Be Jailed by America

17/02/2015 By David McFarlane Leave a Comment

Surviving the Nazis, Only to Be Jailed by America 

 

Eric Lichtblau
February 7, 2015
New York Times – Sunday Review
Today the U.S. government treats immigrants from Latin America the way liberated Jews were treated after World War II. Then a presidential aid reported: “we appear to be treating the Jews as the Nazis treated them except that we do not exterminate them. They are in concentration camps in large numbers under our military guard instead of S.S.

Prisoners at the Buchenwald concentration camp, near Weimar, Germany, as it was liberated by American forces in April 1945., Margaret Bourke-White/Time & Life Pictures – Getty Images // The New York Times,
World leaders gathered at Auschwitz last month to mark the liberation 70 years earlier of the Nazis’ most infamous concentration camp. More ceremonies will follow in coming months to remember the Allied forces’ discovery, in rapid succession, of other Nazi concentration camps at places like Bergen-Belsen that winter and spring of 1945.
Largely lost to history, however, is the cruel reality of what “liberation” actually meant for hundreds of thousands of Holocaust survivors discovered barely alive in the Nazi camps.
Even after the victorious American and Allied forces took control of the camps, the survivors – mainly Jews, but also small numbers of gays, Roma, Communists, Jehovah’s Witnesses and others – remained for months behind barbed wire and under armed guard in what became known euphemistically as displaced persons, or D.P., camps. Many Jews were left wearing the same notorious striped pajamas that the Nazis first gave them.
With the American forces overwhelmed by the sheer numbers of refugees under their control, underfed survivors lived for months in decrepit camps in Germany and Austria – a number of them on the same grounds as the concentration camps. Even after conditions improved, thousands of former prisoners remained inside and in limbo for as long as five years because the United States and most other nations refused to let them in.
In the early months after the war, thousands of survivors died from disease and malnutrition. Food was so scarce that rioting broke out at some camps, as Allied commanders refused to give extra food rations to Jewish survivors because they did not want to be seen as giving them preferential treatment over German P.O.W.s and other prisoners.
Faced with complaints by outside Jewish groups about conditions of “abject misery,” President Harry S. Truman sent a former immigration official, Earl Harrison, to Europe to inspect the camps. His findings were blistering. The survivors “have been `liberated’ more in a military sense than actually,” Harrison wrote Truman in the summer of 1945.
“As matters now stand,” he wrote, “we appear to be treating the Jews as the Nazis treated them except that we do not exterminate them. They are in concentration camps in large numbers under our military guard instead of S.S. troops.”
I ran across Harrison’s report a few years ago while researching a book on the flight of Nazis to the United States after the war. As I examined the path the Nazis took out of Europe, I struggled to understand how so many of them had made it to America so easily while so many Holocaust survivors were left behind.
One answer came in a copy of Gen. George S. Patton’s handwritten journal. In one entry from 1945, Patton, who oversaw the D.P. operations for the United States, seethed after reading Harrison’s findings, which he saw – quite accurately – as an attack on his own command.
“Harrison and his ilk believe that the Displaced Person is a human being, which he is not, and this applies particularly to the Jews who are lower than animals,” Patton wrote. He complained of how the Jews in one camp, with “no sense of human relationships,” would defecate on the floors and live in filth like lazy “locusts,” and he told of taking his commander, Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower, to tour a makeshift synagogue set up to commemorate the holy day of Yom Kippur.
“We entered the synagogue, which was packed with the greatest stinking mass of humanity I have ever seen,” Patton wrote. “Of course, I have seen them since the beginning and marveled that beings alleged to be made in the form of God can look the way they do or act the way they act.”
Other evidence emerged revealing not only Patton’s disdain for the Jews in the camps, but an odd admiration for the Nazi prisoners of war under his watch.
Under Patton, Nazis prisoners were not only bunked at times with Jewish survivors, but were even allowed to hold positions of authority, despite orders from Eisenhower to “de-Nazify” the camps. “Listen,” Patton told one of his officers of the Nazis, “if you need these men, keep them and don’t worry about anything else.”
Following Harrison’s scathing report to Truman, conditions in the camps slowly became more livable, with schools, synagogues and markets sprouting up and fewer restrictions. But malaise set in, as survivors realized they had no place to go.
Hundreds of thousands of war refugees from Eastern Europe – including many top Nazi collaborators – gained entry to the United States in the first few years after the war, but visas were scarce for those left in the camps. Some Washington policy makers were actively opposed to the idea of taking in Holocaust survivors because of lingering anti-Semitism.
At Bergen-Belsen, as many as 12,000 Jewish survivors at a time remained there until the camp was closed in 1951. Menachem Z. Rosensaft was born at the camp in 1948 to two Holocaust survivors. He said in an interview that he believed that the survivors’ hardships after the war had often been overlooked because “it doesn’t neatly fit the story line that we won the war and liberated the camps.”
Mr. Rosensaft, the editor of a new book by Holocaust descendants called “God, Faith and Identity from the Ashes,” added: “Nobody wanted them. They became an inconvenience to the world.”
Joe Sachs, an 88-year-old Holocaust survivor who now lives outside Miami, said his three and a half years in a displaced person camp were tolerable. He met his wife there, learned a trade as a dental technician, and, on most days at least, there was enough food for everyone to get a piece of bread or meat.
Compared with the Nazi camps, “it was heaven,” he said. “But of course we felt abandoned,” Mr. Sachs added. “We were treated not quite as human beings. In a camp like that with a few thousand people, the only thing you feel is abnormal.”
The State Department finally approved visas for Mr. Sachs and his wife and their 18-month-old daughter in 1949, just as Holocaust survivors were finally being allowed into the country in large numbers, and they left for New York City.
That, he said, was truly liberating.
[Eric Lichtblau is a Washington correspondent for The New York Times and the author of “The Nazis Next Door: How America Became a Safe Haven for Hitler’s Men.”]

Filed Under: Anti-Bullying & Homophobia, History Tagged With: bigotry, concentration camps, homophobia, Nazi, nazis, oppression, USA

Rest In Peace Ronin Shimizu

17/02/2015 By David McFarlane Leave a Comment

Would everybody please remain in a moment of silence to remember of young Ronin Shimizu, 12 year old rower and cheerleader, bullied to suicide on Wednesday, December 3rd
 
On December 3rd, 2014 Ronin Shimizu committed suicide due to bullying at his school because he was the only male cheerleader with the Vista Junior Eagles Cheer Team.
District officials have confirmed that his parents had lodged numerous complaints about this bullying, but that they had been dealt with according to a spokesman.
 
Ronin cheerleadingJoy: Friends said that bullies called him 'gay' for cheerleading but that he loved being part of the teamShock: Some friends say they were stunned he was so unhappy because he always had a smile on his face
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2862375/Boy-12-kills-bullied-cheerleader.html#ixzz3Rza7lw4d
k
 

Filed Under: Anti-Bullying & Homophobia Tagged With: bullying, homophobia, ronin shimizu, suicide

Music – Kyle Dean Massey joins Nashville as gay country singer

08/02/2015 By David McFarlane Leave a Comment

Out broadway star lands a recurring role in ABC’s country music drama

27 JANUARY 2015 | BY DARREN WEE
Broadway star Kyle Dean Massey.

Photo via Twitter
Openly gay broadway star Kyle Dean Massey has joined the cast of ABC’s country music drama Nashville in a recurring role.
Massey, 33, will play Kevin Bicks, ‘one of the most successful singer-songwriters in Nashville who also happens to be openly gay.’
Described as ‘handsome, tough – “a man’s man,”‘ TV Line is already speculating that Bicks will be the new love interest of closeted Will Lexington (Chris Carmack),who belives he must hide his sexual orientation in order to be successful.
Massey just finished a run on Broadway in the title role of Pippin. His TV credits include The Good Wife, Inside Amy Schumer and Hart Of Dixie.
‘Y’all. I love this show so much. Get prepared for geeky tweets,’ he tweeted about Nashille, which returns on 4 February.
Watch a promo below:

– See more at: http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/kyle-dean-massey-joins-nashville-gay-country-singer270115#sthash.BzBRe64e.dpuf

Filed Under: Music Reviews Tagged With: gay country singer, kyle dean massey, nashville

Son of lesbian moms in Ireland answers questions about his upbringing

08/02/2015 By David McFarlane Leave a Comment

The man opened up about his life on an online forum ahead of proposed legislative changes in Ireland around gay adoption and the country’s planned marriage equality referendum

27 JANUARY 2015 | BY DAVID HUDSON

© Slovegrove | Dreamstime.com
 
Ahead of the same-sex marriagereferendum planned to take place in Ireland in early May, LGBT issues are being widely discussed in this traditionally Roman Catholic country.
Last week, the Irish government also announced that it was pushing ahead with legislative changes to allow gay couples to adopt.
Amidst some of the more hysterical debate, an Irish man took to an online discussion forum – boards.ie – last week to discuss his own upbringing.
Now in his 30s, with a fiancé and children of his own, he simply invited other users of the forum to post whatever questions they might have – all of which he answered in a calm and measured fashion.
Although some of the questions may seem invasive, or even offensive, the poster – who identified himself as Sonics2K and lives in Cork – was happy to answer everything asked of him. He revealed that he was born to one of the women using the sperm of a gay friend.
Given the vehement opposition that some critics of same-sex marriage have towards LGBT issues – including parenthood – it’s important to promote and listen to the real-life stories of LGBT parents and their children.
Below, we’re posting a selection of the questions and his answers.
Neyite: Have you encountered bullying/ exclusion as a child?
Sonics2K: I was once or twice “bullied” for having two mothers, but it was really more of a “haha you have two mums” comment when I was about 9 years old. That was basically it. Frankly I was bullied more for having an English accent (I was born in London and moved home to Ireland when I was 9). I was bullied a little bit for being a dork too.
Honestly speaking, I was bullied a lot less than any overweight or ginger kid in my schools. I was never excluded from a group because of my parents’ sexuality.
Kids are jerks, we all know this. Kids are worse than grown ups when it comes to being really mean, and they’ll focus on anything to wind up another kid.
Eviltwin: Can I ask if you know your dad and if he is in your life at all?
Sonics2K: Absolutely fair question. In a word, no. I’ve never met him, but my parents told me all his details when I was about 12 or so and said if I wanted to track him down, that would be fine.
I’ve never really looked into it, from what my parents have told me, I do look very similar to him and that’s all I need or care about.
Dulpit: Did you parents ever sit you down and explain to you that their relationship is a little bit different to others?
Sonics2K: Yes, when I was about 7 or 8 my parents did sit down with me and did the whole birds and bees thing and told me how they were gay and some people were straight. I believe my answer was roughly along the lines of ‘Okay, can I go back out and play now?’
Because I was raised by a gay couple, there was nothing odd to me. And like my friends, I did not care about their parents’ sexuality. I was too busy climbing trees and throwing snails at girls.
Eviltwin: Do your mums want to get married? What would it mean for your family if that were possible?
Sonics2K: Well truthfully speaking, my ‘parents’ have separated a good while ago, but are now both in long term relationships.
However, I do know they have no real interest in getting ‘married’ as it were. They do believe of course that they should have the right to be married if they wish to do so.
floggg: Where there ever any situations or issues where you felt the lack of a male presence was a disadvantage? If so how did you over come them?
Sonics2K: Um, I guess maybe when I started to shave? My mother did teach me the basics, and frankly did a better job than my neighbor’s father!
But I started growing a glorious beard many years ago and hate to be clean shaven, aside from that, I truthfully can’t think of any time that I needed a male presence over either of my parents.
My biological mother played Rugby for Munster and Ireland, and even taught me the basics of Karate when I was a kid. I ended up taking a big interest in both in my teens thanks to that.
Strobe: just to follow up on the question on your father. Are you aware of the circumstances of how he came to be your father? As in, via registered sperm donation, or was it a private arrangement (as a favor for a friend, or?), or had he been intimate or involved in a relationship of any sort with your birth mother, etc?
Sonics2K: He was actually a very close friend of my biological mother. She’d asked him to be the father; frankly I never wanted to ask the nitty gritty details of how it was done! Bit gross!
It was agreed at the time he would have no direct influence on my life, but that I would be given his contact details should I ever wish to track him down. I have those details, but never really felt the need to do so.
No. 1 One Direction Fan: Did your non-biological mother have any rights to you as a parent? Say the worst happened and your biological mother had died, would she still have had the right to raise you?
Sonics2K: A very good question, and one that really should be getting asked a lot more. From any legal stand point, my “other” mother had no legal right to raise me in the event my biological mother died. In the eyes of the law, she was non-existent.
Big Nasty: Are you gay or straight yourself and do you think growing up with two women affected your sexuality / personality different to growing up in a conventional family?
Sonics2K: For the record, I am straight, have two children and am engaged. I do know gay children of gay couples, but probably less than gay kids of straight couples.
I wouldn’t exactly define myself as a bloke, not by any measure, but I’d be well into a good few sports, rugby and ice hockey are the mains, Top Gear and a manly love for boobies and certainly have a good few man skills too, all of which taught to me by my parents, may be with the exception of the boobies, but I guess that may work too!
The discussion has proved to be one of the most popular recent threads on the forum board. So much so that Sonic2K was invited – under his real name, Finbarr Murray – to participate in a discussion this morning on Today with Sean O’Rourke on RTE Radio.
Answering the host’s questions about his childhood, Murray said: ‘Growing up, I completely thought my life was normal in every single way… essentially my home life was exactly the same as my other friends.
‘What’s important is how you raise your child and how you treat them.’

– See more at: http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/son-lesbian-moms-ireland-answers-questions-about-his-upbringing270115#sthash.F66tak8i.dpuf

Filed Under: Anti-Bullying & Homophobia Tagged With: adoption, Ireland, lesbian moms, referendum

Politics – What’s on your conscience?

08/02/2015 By David McFarlane Leave a Comment

In December 2014 Paul Givan MLA launched a consultation for his proposed ‘Conscience Clause’. If introduced this would allow businesses to refuse service to same couples, based only on religious belief against what is referred to as promoting same sex relationships. This would mean that a restaurant  or B&B could refuse service to a same sex couple or a landlord could refuse a tenancy to a same sex couple and their family.

 

Join the campaign against the Conscience Clause. Simply just print out the attached speech bubble or draw your own and tell us ‘what is on your conscience’. Whether it is a story or message to inspire others or simply just a limerick we want to hear your thoughts. For some inspiration check out the images above! You can check out more by searching #noconscienceclause
You can also support the Riinbow Project’s  work by texting NOCC15 £3 to 70070 to donate £3, or NOCC15 £5 to donate £5 etc. Remember to tag us on Facebook and Twitter. Remember to use the #noconscienceclause

For more information on our campaign against the Conscience Clause please visit www.rainbow-project.org/noconscienceclause

Please forward throughout your networks and thanks for the support

Filed Under: Anti-Bullying & Homophobia, Campaigns Tagged With: clause, conscience, conscience clause, paul givan.mla, rainbow p, Rainbow project, roject, speech bubble, speech bubble campaign

Stonewall Book Awards 2015

08/02/2015 By David McFarlane Leave a Comment

Three Honor Books for Children and Young Adults were selected:

    • “Beyond Magenta: Transgender Teens Speak Out,” by Susan Kuklin, photographed by Susan Kuklin.
    • “I’ll give you the sun,” written by Jandy Nelson, published by Dial Books, an imprint of Penguin Group (USA) LLC.
    • “Morris Micklewhite and the Tangerine Dress,” written by Christine Baldacchio, pictures by Isabelle Malenfant, published by Groundwood Books / House of Anansi Press.


 
The Stonewall Book Awards – Barbara Gitting Literature Award was presented to “Prelude to Bruise” by Saeed Jones  and published by Coffee House Press.

Four Honor Books in Literature were selected:
  • “Frog Music” written by Emma Donoghue and published by Little, Brown and Company.
  • “Bitter Eden” written by Tatamkhulu Afrika and published by Picador.
  • “The Two Hotels Francforts” written by David Leavitt and published by Bloomsbury.
  • “My Real Children” written by Jo Walton and published by Tor Books.


The Stonewall Book Awards – Israel Fishman Non-Fiction Award was presented to “Living Out Islam: Voices of Gay, Lesbian and Transgender Muslims” written by Scott Siraj al-Haqq Kugle and published by New York University Press.

Four Honor Books in Non-Fiction were selected:
  • “Redefining Realness: My Path to Womanhood, Identity, Love and So Much More” written by Janet Mock and published by Atria Books.
  • “Gay Berlin: Birthplace of a Modern Identity” written by Robert Beachy and published by Knopf.
  • “Hold Tight Gently: Michael Callen, Essex Hemphill, and the Battlefield of AIDS” written  by Martin Duberman and published by The New Press.
  • “Charity and Sylvia: A Same-Sex Marriage in Early America” written by Rachel Hope Cleves and published by Oxford University Press.

Filed Under: Book Reviews Tagged With: awards, book, stonewall

  • « Previous Page
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • Next Page »

Categories

Copyright ACOMSDave.com © 2026