The Chairman of the Referendum Commission, Mr Justice Kevin Cross, answers listeners questions ahead of the two ballots on Friday
Thousands in Northern Ireland are demanding referendum on gay marriage
Reprinted from Belfast Live: Exclusive: Thousands in Northern Ireland are demanding referendum on gay marriage
19:29, 28 April 2015 By Jilly Beattie
Three people a minute are signing an online petition calling for the public to have the final say on the future of civil marriage
Chris Torbitt
Three people a minute are signing an on-line petition calling for a referendum on gay marriage in Northern Ireland.
More than 5,000 people already signed up to the change.org petition created by Newtownabbey man Chris Torbitt in its first 24 hours, and the figure is rising fast.
The Northern Ireland Assembly yesterday rejected a proposal calling for the introduction of gay marriage, after debating the issue for a fourth time.
A total of 96 MLAs took part in the vote and 49 voted against the Sinn Féin motion calling for civil marriage equality for all. An other 47 were in favour and of 53 unionists, only four voted yes.
Sinn Féin, SDLP and five Alliance MLAs supported the motion. The DUP opposed it and the Ulster Unionists were given a free vote on the issue.
Now Chris says the people of Northern Ireland should be given the chance to decide.
The 26-year-old, who came out to his mum 13 years ago, told Belfast Live: “Equality is not a luxury, it is a right and at the moment in Northern Ireland civil marriage is not open to everyone therefore people are not being treated with equality.
“I want this to change, thousands of people want this to change and now I am asking people to sign a petition on-line to see how many people feel strongly about this. Our world needs to change, and only we can change it for the better.
“Being gay is not a crime or a choice. I came out to my mum 13 years ago and told my dad two years ago. He shook my hand and hugged me and they both told me I am their son first and foremost and anything else comes after their love for me. I wish there were more people like them and I think many people would support civil marriage for all if they were given the chance.
“Today the people of Northern Ireland have the power to effect change here.
“We have the ability right now to show our support to not only our LGBT family and friends but to all LGBT people throughout Northern Ireland, the United Kingdom and the Republic of Ireland.”
Chris spoke to Deputy First Minister Martin McGuinness on a live radio show and asked him if he feels the time has come for the NI electorate to supersede the Assembly and vote through a referendum on the LGBT civil marriage issue.
Deputy First Minister Martin McGuinness
Deputy First Minister Martin McGuinness
He said: “His response to this was that he would be in support of a Northern Ireland referendum around this issue as he believes it would be successful.
“So now I’m asking people to send a message to Europe and the rest of the world that Northern Ireland is not the backward, bigoted, sectarian, stuck-in-the-past country that we are perceived to be.
“Instead we can be seen as a nation of people that will stand up for what’s right, stand up for equality, support one another and welcome all people of difference to our shore.
“Let’s show our politicians that it’s not up to them, we the people demand to be heard.
“For more than 30 years this little country has been plagued by bitter, bigoted, sectarian issues that even today are still unfortunately finding roots.
“Thankfully in today’s society this is a considerable minority as most of the inhabitants here want to move beyond to a bright and prosperous Northern Ireland where everyone is treated with respect, dignity and equality.
“This is not a political issue. This is not ‘orange and green’. This is simply about people who love one another so much that they would like to spend the rest of their lives together.
“Some may ask why they need to get married – can’t they just live together and share their life together or even get civil partnered? Won’t this change the definition of marriage?
“Civil Partnership does not provide the same protections to a spouse that Civil Marriage would. It is not the same thing.
“Marriage is something that everyone contemplates growing up. By not allowing LGBT people access to this they are being treated like second-class citizens; unworthy of the same legal standing as heterosexual couples.
“This in turn tells young people that it is wrong to be LGBT and therefore encourages a negative environment in which they feel they are abnormal and there is something wrong with them. This can have serious ramifications on mental health and physical wellbeing.
“Why shouldn’t they have the opportunity to get married the same as heterosexual couples? LGBT couples should be able to live life the same as heterosexual couples, make similar plans.
“Northern Ireland is the only part of the United Kingdom that does not have equal marriage legislation in place.
“The Republic of Ireland will vote through referendum to accept or reject equal marriage legislation. Polls currently indicate that equal marriage will pass in the ROI referendum.
The change.org petition is attracting huge support
“Civil Marriage will not change the definition of marriage to the detriment of what it currently represents. If we really look at what marriage is about then there is no reason to exclude LGBT people.
“The very essence of marriage is about love. Love between two people that want to spend the rest of their life together. Religious institutions will not be forced to provide same-sex ceremonies.
“Churches, mosques, temples etc will not be used for services celebrating same-sex ceremonies unless welcomed by that institution/organisation. Various protections will be built into equal marriage legislation for religious institutions/organisations.
“We need to do this, we need to look forward and move forward together.”
WHAT’S SPARKED THE CORK LGBT ATTACKS?
Reprinted from The Out Most:
WHAT’S SPARKED THE CORK LGBT ATTACKS?
WE CAN’T KNOW WHETHER THE ‘CATFISHING’ ATTACKS IN CORK ON LGBTS ARE CONNECTED TO THE MARRIAGE EQUALITY VOTE, SAYS ROB BUCHANAN.
LGBT people in Cork have been the victims of violent attacks by homophobes using gay dating websites and apps to lure them. It appears the criminals are ‘cat fishing’ LGBT people, using fake profiles on popular dating sites like Grindr and Tinder. Locals in Cork believe the attacks are being orchestrated by the same group in Cork, and if so their activities will probably be known on some level to their friends, girlfriends and families.
While the majority of the reports are still anecdotal, and the motivation of the perpetrators has yet to be established, one thing is for sure: greater caution needs to be exercised by users of dating apps, not only in the Cork area but across the board. The safety of locations for meeting should be considered, along the level of intoxication you are under, before venturing out in to the unknown.
The nature of the beast is that people will continue to use apps out of necessity, despite the associated risk. The odds of us gays finding a one-night stand, let alone a partner, amongst the general public are statistically lower, given our numbers. Many of us don’t live near gay bars or it’s less than easy for us to identify compatible partners at mainstream venues. Dating Apps are sometimes the only way that isolated or shy LGBT people can make any connection at all with members of their community, even if they would never dream of using the resource for sex or dating.
Those of us lucky enough to live in a city with any kind of gay nightlife might still not want to meet people on the scene, and might feel that by using an app they are able to better screen potential partners. However, hook-up sites and apps only provide an illusion of control. They can provide a false sense of security and familiarity, and people tend to shockingly over-share their personal information, not only in chats but in their profiles. The parameters of profile pics are often stretched by even the most honest of users, so it certainly doesn’t take much for an attacker to willfully mislead and waylay someone in order to get a meeting.
Speculation on Facebook is already rampant that these attacks may be in some way connected to the upcoming marriage equality vote. But until
more information is known, or victims come forward, we cannot be certain. I would ask Outmost readers in the Cork area to please keep their eyes open, watch their friend’s backs and report any suspicious activity to the local Gardaí.
Son of lesbian moms in Ireland answers questions about his upbringing
The man opened up about his life on an online forum ahead of proposed legislative changes in Ireland around gay adoption and the country’s planned marriage equality referendum
© Slovegrove | Dreamstime.com
Ahead of the same-sex marriagereferendum planned to take place in Ireland in early May, LGBT issues are being widely discussed in this traditionally Roman Catholic country.
Last week, the Irish government also announced that it was pushing ahead with legislative changes to allow gay couples to adopt.
Amidst some of the more hysterical debate, an Irish man took to an online discussion forum – boards.ie – last week to discuss his own upbringing.
Now in his 30s, with a fiancé and children of his own, he simply invited other users of the forum to post whatever questions they might have – all of which he answered in a calm and measured fashion.
Although some of the questions may seem invasive, or even offensive, the poster – who identified himself as Sonics2K and lives in Cork – was happy to answer everything asked of him. He revealed that he was born to one of the women using the sperm of a gay friend.
Given the vehement opposition that some critics of same-sex marriage have towards LGBT issues – including parenthood – it’s important to promote and listen to the real-life stories of LGBT parents and their children.
Below, we’re posting a selection of the questions and his answers.
Neyite: Have you encountered bullying/ exclusion as a child?
Sonics2K: I was once or twice “bullied” for having two mothers, but it was really more of a “haha you have two mums” comment when I was about 9 years old. That was basically it. Frankly I was bullied more for having an English accent (I was born in London and moved home to Ireland when I was 9). I was bullied a little bit for being a dork too.
Honestly speaking, I was bullied a lot less than any overweight or ginger kid in my schools. I was never excluded from a group because of my parents’ sexuality.
Kids are jerks, we all know this. Kids are worse than grown ups when it comes to being really mean, and they’ll focus on anything to wind up another kid.
Eviltwin: Can I ask if you know your dad and if he is in your life at all?
Sonics2K: Absolutely fair question. In a word, no. I’ve never met him, but my parents told me all his details when I was about 12 or so and said if I wanted to track him down, that would be fine.
I’ve never really looked into it, from what my parents have told me, I do look very similar to him and that’s all I need or care about.
Dulpit: Did you parents ever sit you down and explain to you that their relationship is a little bit different to others?
Sonics2K: Yes, when I was about 7 or 8 my parents did sit down with me and did the whole birds and bees thing and told me how they were gay and some people were straight. I believe my answer was roughly along the lines of ‘Okay, can I go back out and play now?’
Because I was raised by a gay couple, there was nothing odd to me. And like my friends, I did not care about their parents’ sexuality. I was too busy climbing trees and throwing snails at girls.
Eviltwin: Do your mums want to get married? What would it mean for your family if that were possible?
Sonics2K: Well truthfully speaking, my ‘parents’ have separated a good while ago, but are now both in long term relationships.
However, I do know they have no real interest in getting ‘married’ as it were. They do believe of course that they should have the right to be married if they wish to do so.
floggg: Where there ever any situations or issues where you felt the lack of a male presence was a disadvantage? If so how did you over come them?
Sonics2K: Um, I guess maybe when I started to shave? My mother did teach me the basics, and frankly did a better job than my neighbor’s father!
But I started growing a glorious beard many years ago and hate to be clean shaven, aside from that, I truthfully can’t think of any time that I needed a male presence over either of my parents.
My biological mother played Rugby for Munster and Ireland, and even taught me the basics of Karate when I was a kid. I ended up taking a big interest in both in my teens thanks to that.
Strobe: just to follow up on the question on your father. Are you aware of the circumstances of how he came to be your father? As in, via registered sperm donation, or was it a private arrangement (as a favor for a friend, or?), or had he been intimate or involved in a relationship of any sort with your birth mother, etc?
Sonics2K: He was actually a very close friend of my biological mother. She’d asked him to be the father; frankly I never wanted to ask the nitty gritty details of how it was done! Bit gross!
It was agreed at the time he would have no direct influence on my life, but that I would be given his contact details should I ever wish to track him down. I have those details, but never really felt the need to do so.
No. 1 One Direction Fan: Did your non-biological mother have any rights to you as a parent? Say the worst happened and your biological mother had died, would she still have had the right to raise you?
Sonics2K: A very good question, and one that really should be getting asked a lot more. From any legal stand point, my “other” mother had no legal right to raise me in the event my biological mother died. In the eyes of the law, she was non-existent.
Big Nasty: Are you gay or straight yourself and do you think growing up with two women affected your sexuality / personality different to growing up in a conventional family?
Sonics2K: For the record, I am straight, have two children and am engaged. I do know gay children of gay couples, but probably less than gay kids of straight couples.
I wouldn’t exactly define myself as a bloke, not by any measure, but I’d be well into a good few sports, rugby and ice hockey are the mains, Top Gear and a manly love for boobies and certainly have a good few man skills too, all of which taught to me by my parents, may be with the exception of the boobies, but I guess that may work too!
The discussion has proved to be one of the most popular recent threads on the forum board. So much so that Sonic2K was invited – under his real name, Finbarr Murray – to participate in a discussion this morning on Today with Sean O’Rourke on RTE Radio.
Answering the host’s questions about his childhood, Murray said: ‘Growing up, I completely thought my life was normal in every single way… essentially my home life was exactly the same as my other friends.
‘What’s important is how you raise your child and how you treat them.’
– See more at: http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/son-lesbian-moms-ireland-answers-questions-about-his-upbringing270115#sthash.F66tak8i.dpuf