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Coming out is never easy. But in Sri Lanka and much of surrounding South Asia it’s dangerous

03/01/2016 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

Gay Times Logo

31st December 2015 by GT

13:00 31st December 2015 by GT

BEST-REAL-Sri-Lank-Temple

We’ve delved into the GT vault this festive season, to give you some holiday reading

Closet culture.

Coming out is never easy. But in Sri Lanka and much of surrounding South Asia it’s dangerous

Sri Lanka in the Middle East
Sri Lanka
 
Coming out is never easy. But in Sri Lanka and much of surrounding South Asia – wherehomosexual acts are outlawed – it’s dangerous. How can LGBTIQ people fight for their rights when homophobia begins at home? GT investigates…
It was night time, and right the way down the street the lights had gone out. Power cuts are common in Sri Lanka’s capital city, Colombo, but this wasn’t a power cut. When four men arrived at Kiru Thurairajah’s house, she knew her girlfriend’s stepfather had sent them. He was unhappy with his stepdaughter being in a lesbian relationship and had already sent threats to Kiru.
As the men started throwing stones at the house, Kiru had a decision to make. Should she call the police, or would this just put her in more danger? Countless numbers of people have to ask themselves this question when they are harassed or even attacked because of their sexuality in Sri Lanka.
Articles 365 and 365a of Sri Lanka’s Penal Code, originally introduced by British colonists in 1886, have been used to criminalise homosexual acts which are said to be “against the order of nature” or to amount to “gross indecency”. Similar laws remain in place in India, Bangladesh, Bhutan and Pakistan, nearly 50 years after they were revoked in Britain.
“I was going to call the police but then I started thinking,” Kiru tells us, “if I called the police, I’d have to tell the whole story about who sent the thugs, and that I had a relationship with his stepdaughter.”
There’ve been no convictions for Article 365 or 365a since Sri Lanka gained independence in 1948, but the law means most LGBTIQ people avoid seeking protection from the police or justice from the courts, even when threatened with physical harm.
Luckily for Kiru, her aunt worked in politics and was able to send some policemen who didn’t ask any questions, but she decided not to file a complaint against her girlfriend’s stepfather. She eventually found out that he’d convinced the municipal council to switch off the electricity on her street.
Although Kiru thinks the laws need to change, she doesn’t see it as the biggest barrier gay people face.
“No one worries about the law in Sri Lanka,” she said. “If society was OK with who we are, we’d be OK.
“Social acceptance is improving, but only in urban areas, so I’m in a much better situation than other people. One person I know went through ‘corrective rape’; her father told her cousin to rape her, thinking that this would make her straight.”
Deepthi Tadanki is directing a film about corrective rape, which she started working on after speaking to a young man in Bangalore, whose own mother attempted to rape him.
BEST-REAL-Sri-Lanka-Street
The Indian filmmaker told us: “In the LGBT community, everybody knows somebody who’s experienced corrective rape, but nobody talks about it because of the shame. The parents don’t see it as rape, they see it as their duty, and they think that it’ll benefit their kid’s future.”
Cases of corrective rape have been reported as far and wide as Uganda and Ecuador, but in South Asia, according to Deepthi, this issue is “beyond taboo”. Deepthi’s team have been threatened with an acid attack if they continue production.
Corrective rape isn’t talked about because homosexuality isn’t talked about, which is why families often have limited understanding of what homosexuality is. Some parents, so afraid of the stigma their child will suffer if word gets out, decide to carry out the abuse themselves.
Understandably, many people think it’s safer to hide their true identities, often bowing to immense pressure to marry.
Shan* hides his sexuality from everyone in his life except for a select few.
“Forget about LGBT rights, society is not ready to accept single people yet. You have to get married for acceptance. So whether they like it or not, most LGBT people do.”
Koluu Ranawake, celebrity chef, is one of the most open and flamboyant gay people in Sri Lanka. Having come out to his own mother at 17, he often hears from young people on Facebook who’re afraid to come out to their families.
“I encourage them, I say, ‘Why are you scared to tell your parents?’ I know some parents who’re quite happy about it,” he said.
But other activists, like Shan, advise caution: “In Sri Lanka, your identity and the level of its expression depends on your socio-economic status.”
When Kiru told her mother and father that she is a lesbian they both threatened to kill themselves, cutting their hands to prove they meant it. “It was very emotional for us,” she said. “We all cried for hours. It was the first time I’d seen my father cry. In Sri Lankan culture, men don’t cry, especially fathers.”
Other parents react by seeking ‘cures’. In rural areas, witch doctors – kattadiyas – offer remedies for homosexual urges, from herbal teas to hanging magnets from the patient’s testicles. Some psychologists continue to treat homosexuality as a mental illness. Kiru remembers when a friend was told she could be ‘cured’ through female genital mutilation.
Because of issues like these, LGBTIQ non-profit Equal Ground run programmes to ‘sensitise’ people; teaching them what homosexuality really is.
Last year, following representations from Equal Ground, the UN Human Rights Committee put pressure on the government to discuss the legal status and protections offered to LGBTIQ people. In a written response the government said Article 12 of the Constitution – the right to equality – “protects persons from stigmatisation and discrimination”.
It was an important milestone, but Equal Ground’s executive director, Rosanna Flamer-Caldera, didn’t think it was enough: “The fact of the matter is that law enforcement agencies often violate people’s rights based on these old laws.”
In 2009, an Indian High Court declared the country’s similarly outdated laws unconstitutional, as they violated equal rights. It was a historic success, but just four years later the Supreme Court overturned that judgment, saying it should be left for legislators to decide.
Speaking about this ruling, Sri Lankan Human Rights Commissioner, Prathiba Mahanamahewa, said: “Incidents like these really affect Sri Lanka because we share a similar culture, ideology and philosophy.”
Aware of statistics from the National STD/AIDS Control Programme, indicating the number of new HIV cases has doubled in just six years, Prathiba is trying to open up a dialogue with civil society about the law. “There’s a veil of silence in this country, and we need to open this veil so we can protect people.”
But even within the Human Rights Commission of Sri Lanka, there was significant “debate” over openly discussing the issue of gay rights, because of concerns over protecting “Sri Lankan values”, according to Prathiba. This echoes issues across largely conservative South Asia, where power and religion have strong links.
Rosanna explains: “There’s a huge faction of homophobic politicians who’re constantly whipping up sentiment with their lies about what homosexuality is.”
In 2013 Norway’s Ambassador Grete Løchen brought her wife with her to Sri Lanka. In reaction to this, President at the time Mahinda Rajapaksa, meeting with an ultra-conservative Buddhist organisation said the country’s “Buddhist identity would come to an end if we allow these actions.” Rajapaksa’s argument is ubiquitous and flawed; there’s nothing within Buddhist texts which prohibits homosexuality.
“These bigots use one tiny thing from Buddhism, saying if something is bad for society then it should be stopped, in just the same way they pluck certain things from the Bible.
“The argument so many people put out is that homosexuality is against our culture, but if any culture violates somebody’s human rights, that culture needs to change,” says Rosanna from Equal Ground.
Parliamentary elections will be held this month, and Rosanna hopes this will lead topositive action from Parliament. “It’s time for politicians to come out of their closets and speak up,” she said.
If this happens it could cause a chain reaction, with more and more people coming out across Sri Lanka and South Asia.
Damith* explained how things would change for him if Article 365 and 365a were revoked. “If the law changed I’d definitely marry. Then I’d be very happy to introduce my family to my boyfriend. I’d be ready to come out and face disaster.”
*Some names have been changed by request.
Words Jo Eckersley

Filed Under: Anti-Bullying & Homophobia Tagged With: culture, Middle East, Sri Lanka, travel

Evil ISIS executes boy, 15, by throwing him off a roof – because he’s gay

03/01/2016 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

daily_star_sunday_logo
 
 
 
 

By Jeremy Culley / Published 2nd January 2016

MURDEROUS ISIS terrorists carried out a horrific public execution by throwing a boy accused of homosexuality off a roof, reports say.

 

MURDERED: A prisoner being thrown from a roof by ISIS

MURDERED: A prisoner being thrown from a roof by ISIS


SG
The 15-year-old had been arrested for being gay and thrown from the top of a building in Deir ez-Zor, Syria.
An eyewitness told ARA News: “The horrific execution took place in front of a large crowd.”
Sources say that the boy had been in a gay relationship with ISIS officer Abu Zaid al-Jazrawi, who has been sent to Iraq on the battlefront, rather than being executed.
GETTY
SICK: Terror cult ISIS has conquered large swathes of the Middle East

“Although the Islamic law bans homosexuality, the brutal punishment by Daesh has never been witnessed throughout history”

Civil rights activist Raed Ahmed

This is reportedly to compensate for heavy losses sustained by ISIS, also known as Daesh, on the frontline from coalition and Russian bombing.
Sarai al-Din told ARA News: “The boy was accused of being engaged in a homosexual relation with the prominent ISIS officer Abu Zaid al-Jazrawi.
“Abu Zaid was forced to leave Syria and join the fighting fronts in northwestern Iraq. The decision has been taken by the ISIS leadership.

Filed Under: Anti-Bullying & Homophobia Tagged With: Daesh, execution, ISIS, youth

Map shows Europe still divided over equal marriage

03/01/2016 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

Gay Times Logo2nd January 2016 by Ross Semple

Imgur

Equal marriage is still constitutionally banned in many Eastern European countries.

A map recently uploaded to Imgur shows the progress of equal marriage through Europe from 1989 to the present day and beyond.
In 1989, only Denmark recognised same-sex couples in civil partnerships. Throughout the 1990s, many Eastern European countries passed constitutional amendments banning the recognition of same-sex partnership. Bans in countries like Poland, Lithuania, Belarus, Ukraine, and Serbia are still in place today.

 
 
As of 2015, same sex marriage is recognised in the UK (excluding Northern Ireland), Iceland, Norway, Sweden, France, Spain, Portugal, Belgium, The Netherlands, and Denmark.
Germany, Switzerland, Austria, the Czech Republic, Hungary, Croatia, and Greece all give couples access to civil partnerships – but not marriage.
The completed map shows a stark contrast between Western Europe, where the majority of countries have adopted equal marriage, and Eastern Europe – where bans are still in place.
The map includes equal marriage laws that have yet to come into effect – such as Estonia later this year Finland in 2017.

Filed Under: Anti-Bullying & Homophobia Tagged With: equal marriage, Europe, government, politics, same sex marriage

Mind the gap – What do older men with younger partners have in common?

26/12/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

Gay Times Logo 24th December 2015 by GT

BEST-LIFE-Age-Gap-1

What do older men with younger partners have in common? Why are they attracted to each other? And why does it offend some members of the gay community so much? With Tom Daley [21] making headlines for his engagement to to Dustin Lance Black [41] this year, GT talks to five gay men to discover whether or not we should mind the gap.

You’ve seen him in the bar – he’s the grey-haired, much older man sitting with his hand on a much younger guy’s thigh. Immediately you assume the attraction is either based on a mutually satisfactory financial agreement, a daddy fetish or a mid-life crisis.
But does an age gap relationship need strings attached to work? Can’t it just be two people who have fallen in love despite the years that separate them?
Most of us in the gay community have dated, or at least had a one-nighter, with someone considerably older or younger than us. Friends of Tom Daley, who recently revealed he’s in a relationship with a man, say that finding love with Milk writer Dustin Lance Black, a man 20 years older than him, was the catalyst to him talking publically about his sexuality.
However, it’s often the case that being in a long-term, committed relationship with an older or younger man must still raise eyebrows from some quarters. And in some cases, it can find the older man branded a pervert or manipulator while his younger counterpart is dismissed as a gold digger.
There’s a 24-year age gap between Michael and Dennis*. They began dating three years ago after meeting online. “My last boyfriend was ten years my junior and I was dubious about dating someone younger again,” explains Michael, 53. “When we split up, I started internet dating and was adamant I wanted to meet someone my own age. I went on several dinners with men in their 40s and 50s, but we didn’t click.
“Then I met with Dennis at a bar in Vauxhall, London, and we hit it off straight away. But the age gap worried me, even though the more time we spent together, the more we got on. And soon I realised I was being prejudiced about younger guys. Just because my last boyfriend turned out to be an immature idiot, it didn’t mean everyone younger than me was too.”
Dennis, 29, adds: “I’m not into older or younger guys, it’s about how we get on, and Michael and I just fit. I like the grey bits in his hair, the fact he’s lived a bit more of life than me, that he’s had experiences I haven’t. The only time our age difference gets in the way is when we’re doing a music quiz down the pub. He knows everything about the 1970s and I wasn’t born until 1984.”
“Some guys in bars have suggested Dennis is a kept man, but he actually earns a lot more than me,” Michael continues. “One friend says I’m a dirty old man for falling for a younger guy. We don’t speak any more.”
Age differences between gay couples are much more common that straight ones. A study in the UK, USA, Sweden, France and the Netherlands revealed that gay couples are almost three times more likely to have an age difference of more than ten years between them, compared to heterosexual couples.
“In speaking with thousands of people about relationships, gay men are more open to a relationship with an age gap,” says Lemarc Thomas, managing director of Seventy Thirty, the exclusive matchmaking and introduction agency. “Most gay men over 30 will understand the feeling of going against what’s considered a societal norm, which makes them more open to breaking such barriers.
“There is still a stigma attached, even among other gay men. Freud might encourage the assumption that there are a few father issues for both the younger and older man. We may see manipulation, a life crisis, one being kept or something worse. However, an age gap relationship can be functional and successful if built on solid foundations with mutuality. But it’s more difficult to achieve long term compatibility.”
Gay age gaps like that between Tom and Dustin are nothing new. French poet Arthur Rimbaud was 17 when he started a relationship fellow poet Paul Verlaine, 11-years older than him. Oscar Wilde was 36 when he became involved with the 22-year-old Lord Alfred Douglas. There are 15 years between Sir Elton John, 66, and husband David Furnish, 51. Stephen Fry made headlines in 2010 when he started dating actor Steven Webb, despite their 26-year age difference. And designer Calvin Klein was 48 years older than his ex-partner, model Nick Gruber.
There’s nine years difference between Joe Marsden, 28, and James Hilton, 19, who met on a phone dating app. But that nine years was enough for Joe to be on the receiving end of a flurry of nasty Facebook messages when the two began dating.
“I didn’t notice James’ age straight away, but he did look quite young. And when it turned out he was 17 I thought, ‘ahh, okay this could be a problem,’” recalls Joe. “James was still in college, and that sounded so young. Even if he’d been 18 or 19 it would have sounded better. But he didn’t seem bothered about my age.
“I’m a member of a few groups on Facebook that help young people to come out. Most people I’ve dated have been in similar situations – they’ve had no or few friends and struggled to meet people without the help of the internet. A lot of younger people look for older people because there’s potential for a deeper relationship there.

Robert Gershinson

Robert Gershinson

“I had 110,000 Facebook followers. But when it came to talking about my relationship with James, I got so much hate online. They asked why he’s with me because he can do better. If I post pictures of us I will get more than 100 messages saying they want to sleep with him.
“Eventually it got too much and I deleted my account. The age gap comments were a whole new level of nastiness and jealousy. I put a lot into the gay community so it was a surprise to get such negative comments just because I’m going out with someone younger than me. At one point I even thought about ending the relationship; it would have been so much easier to go out with someone my own age.”
According to Lemarc Thomas, an age gap is just one of many factors which can contribute to whether a relationship is functional or dysfunctional. “At Seventy Thirty, when we’re matchmaking for our members, we don’t look at age per se, instead we think of life stage. We also consider shared core values, background, lifestyle, goals, personality and attraction.”
Some therapists believe younger gay men are attracted to older men because, when they were boys, they were deprived of their father’s attention and became isolated in their own closeted gay world. So older gay partners can become a role model, a teacher and protective elder friend. In return, it can bring out the paternal side of an older gay man. Others claim it’s an issue of control – the older men want to be in charge in a relationship.
It’s that reason which has put Jeremy*, 24, off dating anyone over 30. “Most men I’ve been out with have been at least a decade older than me,” he begins, “and without fail, those relationships have all gone wrong because they don’t trust a younger guy. They think we cheat on them, that we want them to come home, but behind their backs we’re fucking around with people our own age. Older men are very, very insecure. They want a good-looking lad on their arm to control them. I’ve yet to meet one who is confident enough in themselves to trust me not to cheat on him.”
“Balance is important in relationships and each person must feel what they bring is equal to what they receive,” adds Lemarc Thomas. “A study on social exchange in age gap relationships suggested the younger partner was much more likely than the older to grant or refuse sexual gratification as a means of securing or maintaining power. Sex was not necessarily exchanged for financial compensation, the older partner offered intelligence and social accomplishments, which are often as strongly attractive to younger partners as material possessions.
“When we think of gay history, there has been rapid societal changes. In the early 70s, homosexuality was still listed as a pathological disorder; today we’re talking about gay marriage. The generation gap for gay men is potentially massive. This means that the couple may realise they’re from very different backgrounds, from which it is difficult to build a mutual understanding.”
*Some names have been changed by request.
Words John Marrs

Filed Under: Anti-Bullying & Homophobia Tagged With: ageism, gay relationships, partners

How to Break the Bullying Cycle

26/12/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

OUT dot com logo
 

gay bullying

Author Jonathan Fast discusses his book Beyond Bullying and the danger of ‘gay-neutral’ school policies.


 
Jonathan Fast knows what it’s like to be bullied. As a chubby 8-year-old in summer camp, he was tormented by an athletic boy who broke his arm. Even his father, Spartacus author Howard Fast, was bullied by the House Committee on Un-American Activities for being communist in the 1950s.
In his powerful new book, Beyond Bullying: Breaking the Cycle of Shame, Bullying, and Violence, 67-year-old Dr. Fast takes an unhurried look at the shame underlying violence towards LGBT and straight folks alike. “With this book, I hope readers will be better equipped to deal with bullying of every sort,” he explains, while speaking at his Yeshiva University office. “With time, we’ll be moved, if only by a single degree, closer toward a place where all people are equally valued and respected.” Fast spoke about the danger of “gay-neutral” school policies, fighting back, and whether or not there’s a “cure” for bullying.
Out: Did being harassed as a kid inspire this topic?
Jonathan Fast: In my last book, Ceremonial Violence, about school shootings, a detail was missing about the Columbine killers and other perpetrators. At a conference I heard a talk about shame, and had an epiphany: I realized these vicious guys were carrying huge amounts of that primal emotion. Most likely they were disappointing their parents, not gainfully employed, having trouble socially. Why turn to school shooting? Because they couldn’t express their shame if they wanted to appear mature, powerful, and successful. It’s taboo even to talk about this feeling because it’s associated with little children, weakness, and failure. Ultimately it comes out of their guns.
Gays have been bullied for decades. But during Stonewall, they fought back. Is rioting a useful reaction to feeling oppressed?
It’s a common form of shame management when the feeling is intense, shared by a lot of people, and there seems to be no other peaceful means of managing it. Rioters are usually unaware of their motivations beyond a general sense of rage and frustration. While neighborhoods may be damaged and community members hurt, the events draw attention to grave social problems. Stonewall created a milestone for the gay rights movement and empowered a subculture.
How have LGBT individuals dealt with society’s violence toward them?
Some choose to use their fists, which yields mixed results. Jamie Nabozny invoked the law. In 1988, after coming out in his Wisconsin middle school, he was repeatedly tortured by classmates. The problem persisted into high school. He sued both principals, staff members, and the school district for neglecting to protect him. Lambda Legal came on board, pushing the case into the headlines. A partner at the white shoe law firm Skadden Arps offered his services pro bono. The jury found the school administrators liable for failing to stop antigay violence against Nabozny, who won a 1 million dollar settlement.
In Minnesota, two young women responded with social action. A romantic couple in high school, they’d heard about a series of local gay teenagers killing themselves and wanted to bring visibility to non-traditional gender roles. They got elected to a 12-member Royal Court, and were set to walk in a public ceremony. But days before the procession, a teacher told them their plan was unacceptable because they were two women. They contacted the National Center for Lesbian Rights and the Southern Poverty Law Center and battled against the school leadership. Ultimately they won the right to proceed on the red carpet, to wild cheers and applause.
Regarding that group of suicides, you point to education policies as potential culprits. One high school had written a mandate for faculty and staff to show respect for all students, and to remain neutral on matters regarding sexual orientation. It led to a spate of teen suicides over two years. What went wrong?
A lot. The 2009 recession hit that suburb hard. Residents bought big houses and got caught with giant mortgages. Middle class folks became homeless, living in their cars. Kids were told not to speak about their depression and lack of cash. So they couldn’t manage their shame. To begin with, adolescents aren’t working with a full biological deck. The frontal lobe—the part of the brain that analyzes consequences—doesn’t mature until age 25. Influenced by their peers, teens often make poor choices.
Add to that mix a poorly worded edict that bans any reference to homosexuality, spearheaded by conservative parents. It silenced the few gay teachers who’d acted as a support network for kids coming out. Trying to be neutral, one school psychologist took down the picture of her partner on her desk. Youngsters stopped hearing “it gets better.” All these things contributed to hidden shame, which you tend to turn inward, resulting in acts like cutting, and in this case, a cluster of suicides.
The ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy in the U.S. military has been repealed. Marriage equality is the rule of law. But in one study, 95% of gay adolescents reported feeling separated and emotionally isolated from peers because of their sexual orientation. Around 50% of gay adolescents have experienced physical violence by family members. Research has shown that LGBT teens attempt suicide four times more frequently than their heterosexual peers. When will this trend reverse?
It’ll take another generation to change. I grew up in a homophobic home and my father was an intellectual. He’d say a great writer would never be gay, because they couldn’t relate to the basic human experience. Which was absurd. But when you’re a little kid and your father is a celebrated author, you tend to believe him.
In 1963 the New York Times published an article “Growth of Overt Homosexuality in City Provokes Wide Concern.” Its title reflected the opinion of the Times and the times. I see it getting better with my grown kids.
We all carry shame at times. What are healthy ways to deal with it?
Write about it. Express yourself through art. The film The Gift is a good example. It’s about a teenage bully who grows up and doesn’t understand why in high school his target complained about getting beat up. After all, the bully had been abused by his own dad, but believed he’d sucked it up. Of course, instead of sucking it up, the roughneck had displaced his pain and trounced his victim.
Other ways to deal include going to confession, if you’re Catholic. Volunteering. Doing a good deed. The “It Gets Better” campaign is a great example.
Is there a cure for bullying?
No. We have endless examples of maltreatment of people in politics—think Donald Trump—and in media, like certain newscasters. We live in a bullying society. We have the highest homicide and incarceration rate, and the worst income division, which is a big shame factor. Believing that society is a meritocracy can be humiliating to a lot of people. They imagine success yields happiness. But if prosperity is unattainable, people take that personally. They feel ashamed, and unhappy. Sometimes the shame is turned outward, which is how we get bullies

 
BY HAIG CHAHINIAN
THU, 2015-12-24

Filed Under: Anti-Bullying & Homophobia, Book Reviews Tagged With: bullying, Children, homophobia, kids, people, society

Armed gang targets Grindr users in London

23/12/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

Gay Times Logo
 

19th December 2015

by Ross Semple

Grindr

Victims of attacks are “very shaken”.

An armed London gang has been targeting men who use Grindr – and robbing them at knifepoint.
The Independent reports that two men were robbed while being held at knifepoint by men who made contact with them on the hookup app. The same four men are suspected in both attacks, and have not been apprehended at the time of writing.
Speaking with the BBC, Sheree Yates – Senior Detective Constable with Croydon Police – said: “We are keen to identify the suspects as soon as possible and are appealing to anyone with any information to contact the police.
dating-apps-grindr-1050x600_640x345_acf_cropped2
“I would urge everyone who uses online dating apps and sites to take steps to help them to stay safe whilst meeting strangers.”
A spokesperson for Grindr urged users of the app to remain vigilant and be cautious: “There are many ways to verify and take steps to protect yourself, from meeting in more public spaces to getting phone numbers and speaking beforehand.
“We take these matters very seriously and cooperate with local law enforcement at all turns where we can.”

Filed Under: Anti-Bullying & Homophobia Tagged With: armed gangs, grindr, targets

Three LGBT Youths Describe Being Homeless in NYC

23/12/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

advocate_logo

BY CARL SICILIANO
DECEMBER 21 2015

Editorial

UK Homeless Youth

I make no apologies for republishing this article from The Advocate on homelessness in New York City ; its relevance is because in the UK a quarter of the UK’s homeless youth are LGBT, according to a groundbreaking new survey carried out by the Albert Kennedy Trust (AKT). Yyoung people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans are more likely to end up on the streets than their hetero peers. Many were rejected from their family homes on account of their sexuality, while others were fleeing abusive households. 

Please remember the homeless, no matter who they are, and if you can help then donate to any of the following charities:

  • Centrepoint – give young people a future
  • The Albert Kennedy Trust

John
 
In recent months photographer Ocean Morisset and I been documenting the stories of LGBT youths who have been driven to homelessness. Their experiences of cruel rejection in their homes as well as the ordeals they endure on the streets provide stark evidence of the harm still suffered by the most vulnerable in our community
We live in times that have seen tremendous progress for LGBT people. We have torn down some of our society’s most formidable structures of homophobia. But progress for our community isn’t monolithic. There are at least 200,000 LGBT youths suffering homelessness in our nation. The abuse, hostility, and neglect they endure seem to belong to the time before 1969, rather than 2015.
It is easier to change a law than to change the human heart. LGBT youths who have the misfortune to grow up in homophobic or transphobic homes face terrible cruelty and abuse. At the Ali Forney Center, the nation’s largest organization dedicated to homeless LGBT youth, we hear heartrending accounts of their mistreatment. We hear about severe verbal abuse, kids being called “faggots” by their parents, being told that they are disgusting, that they are “against God.”
Unfortunately, it’s not just verbal abuse. Often youths are subjected to physical violence in their homes; they tell us of being punched, kicked, choked. Also they tell of degrading and humiliating treatment, like the young man profiled below who was made to literally sleep in a closet.
When they become homeless, either being thrown out of their homes, or fleeing from the cruelty and abuse there, trauma intensifies. Homelessness is an ordeal for anyone, but for LGBT youths it is horrific. Listening to them describe their experiences on the streets, I am most struck by how frightened they are, how terrified. Terrified of the people who would rob them or bash them. They tell of being overwhelmed by stress, not knowing how to find food, or shelter, or protect themselves.
Too often the available shelters pose insurmountable obstacles. Many homeless youth shelters push religion on homeless kids, with youths being encouraged to pray, read the Bible, or participate in “pastoral ministry” programs. No young person’s desperation for shelter should be exploited to promote a belief system. But this is especially problematic for LGBT youths who have so often been made homeless because of the religious beliefs of their parents. Even more problematic for LGBT youths is the hostility they face from other shelter residents. Unfortunately, many of the beds in this country are in large warehouse shelters. Warehousing homeless people creates dehumanizing conditions where LGBT youths are frequently targets of anti-LGBT violence and harassment. It is very frustrating to listen to so many LGBT youths explain how they feel safer sleeping in the streets than in large warehouse shelters.
Homeless LGBT youths need the advocacy and support of our broader community, The most important step we can take to protect them is to support shelter and housing programs where they can be safe from abuse, whether it be from abusive religious agendas or from conditions that promote violence and harrassment.
The Ali Forney Center offers emergency and long-term housing dedicated to LGBT youths. We also offer programs which help youths overcome the harm of rejection and homophobia, enabling them to be healed and to rebuild their lives. These include medical, mental health, and substance abuse treatment as well as extensive educational and vocational training and placement programs. All these services are offered in an environment where the youths can be free of the further trauma of homophobia and transphobia. We provide care to over 1,000 youths per year. Please consider offering your support here.
I would also encourage support for LGBT-dedicated homeless youth programs in other parts of the country. To learn more about such programs in your local area, please see our Web page devoted to the services available to homeless LGBTyouths across the country. The Ali Forney Center is dedicated to encouraging the success of programs dedicated to homeless LGBT youths, and we have offered training and technical assistance to many of these vital programs.
This holiday season, please help us bring homeless LGBT youths in from the cold to a place where they can find warmth, healing, safety and affirmation. Now meet three LGBT youths and hear about their lives on the streets of New York. —Carl Siciliano, executive director of the Ali Forney Center

Why Homeless LGBT Youth Need Our Help

Tank, 23
I grew up in Queens. I had to leave home because I was abused by my mother; called a faggot, vulgar stuff.
When I was with friends who were also homeless, we would huddle together, sometimes in Union Square, sometimes in Staten Island. We would sleep in Staten Island in abandoned buildings that had been left wrecked by Hurricane Sandy. Once when we walked on the floor, the floorboard broke underneath us, and a friend had his leg split open. We closed the wound and took him out into the street before we called the ambulance. We didn’t want anyone to know where we were staying.
We were afraid to stay in the adult shelters — we heard too many things about LGBT kids being beaten and robbed there.
A friend who knew I was on the streets got me a job at Taco Bell. I was working maintenance, working the night shift. I was also going to college. It was hard, sometimes I was crying. Sometimes I would look bummy, but I was still going to class. I had to go. I always heard my mother in the back of my head saying I wouldn’t get nothing for myself.
I want to be a veterinarian. Plus I want to open a home for youth who have nowhere to go.

Why Homeless LGBT Youth Need Our Help

Angel, 22
My grandmother raised me and my brothers and sisters. She died when I was 14. For a while I stayed with my aunt. It was a nightmare. She wouldn’t recognize my gender. I had a job at a theater, and she charged me $200 a week to sleep in a clothes closet on a pillow. I tried to make the best of it. At least the pillow was tempurpedic; it was the comfiest pillow ever.
When I became homeless I tried to go to a big shelter for hundreds of kids. The intake worker refused to respect my gender identity. I showed her that I had a male ID, but she said it didn’t make a difference, that my wanting to be respected as a male was bullshit.
They put me in a female dorm. One of the other girls there said I couldn’t use the bathroom unless I payed her $40! She raised her fist to me and threatened me for $40!! I couldn’t deal with it, so I decided to sleep in the subway. I slept in the subway for two weeks. I found the whole thing so stressful that I couldn’t eat.
It was better when I stayed in an LGBT shelter. They respected me when I was transitioning.
Today I got a promotion at my job at Dunkin’ Donuts. Now I’m a shift leader!

Why Homeless LGBT Youth Need Our Help

Quincy, 21
I had to leave my home because my mother couldn’t accept me. She would get angry about the way I acted and the clothes I wore. It was always “You’re a fag, you’re a batty boy” (she’s from Jamaica).
For a while after I left home I was sleeping on friends’ couches. Then for two weeks straight I was sleeping on the subway. I would clutch all my stuff really tight, holding them close, especially after I was robbed.
Mornings were rough because I was so exhausted. I could never get enough sleep, only two or three hours. It took a toll on my body. I was always tired and irritated. I couldn’t focus.
I was afraid to go to the men’s shelter. I have a friend who stayed there, and when they found out he was gay they beat him up mercilessly. If they would do that to a grown man, what would they do to a scrawny 21-year-old gay kid.
When you are on the streets, riding the subways, nights are very tough. Sometimes I felt so alone. Nobody cared, nobody asked about me. I was just alone.

Filed Under: Anti-Bullying & Homophobia Tagged With: homeless, politics, UK, youth

If It’s Hard to Picture Legal Anti-Gay Witchunts, Watch This Movie About Cameroon

17/12/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

The Blog Logo

John-Manuel Andriote

16/12/2015
 

African American in Prison

African American in Prison


 
Picture this: A neighbor decides he doesn’t like your hairstyle. He figures it’s cut in a way that must mean you are gay. He calls the police. You are arrested for violating the law that criminalizes homosexuality.
You’re rushed through a court packed with anti-gay religious zealots, shouting insults, demanding conviction. You are convicted and now face five years in prison.
And that’s only the beginning. What you face inside makes life outside of prison look like a cake walk.
Is it only a bad dream?
Unfortunately it’s real life for gay men and lesbians in Cameroon. The French-speaking country on Africa’s west coast has managed to avoid the bad publicity that has greeted Nigeria and Uganda’s harsh treatment of their gay and lesbian citizens, perhaps because it possesses nothing coveted by the West — such as oil, as does next-door Nigeria. Cameroon has been arresting, imprisoning and ruining the lives of gay men and lesbians with impunity. It’s one of the world’s 79 countries that criminalize homosexuality.
A 2015 report from the International Federation for Human Rights concludes that Cameroon’s government, the police and judiciary are all “accomplices in arbitrary arrests and ignoring complaints against the perpetrators of violations of the rights of the defenders of LGBTI persons’ rights.” To ensure maximum repression, the government can even arrest, convict and imprison someone simply for standing up publicly for a gay friend — even if that person isn’t gay.
The report notes that any person can be targeted, “whether a lawyer, activist, academic, intellectual, religious leader, trade unionist, journalist, community leader, public officer or a member of an NGO or an association” for peacefully protesting against violations of the rights of LGBTI persons. “Their actions are criminalized and their freedom of speech, association and assembly impeded.”
If it’s hard to picture such blatant, legalized anti-gay witchunting and its impact on your life as you go about your business in Cameroon, I urge you to watch an exceptional film called Born This Way. The documentary follows Cedric, a young gay man determined to stay in his home even as his neighbors threaten to kill him, and Gertrude, a young lesbian struggling to come out to the nun who, she says, is more like a mother to her than her actual mother.
For his part, Cedric doesn’t want to come out to his mother. “My mother is everything to me,” he says. “But telling her I’m gay would be a shock for her.” He explains that “family is everything” and he is not willing to risk losing his family’s affection.
Gertrude works at Alternatives Cameroon, a human rights center that offers counseling, legal counseling for men and women incarcerated for homosexuality and even HIV prevention and testing. The organization’s important role in the local LGBTI community is an example of how HIV/AIDS programs in developing countries frequently also serve as vital resources for political and social organizing.
All of us who have struggled to come out to a parent or other revered figure in our lives will see ourselves in the look of dread on Gertrude’s face as she is about to come out to the Mother Superior she adores, the stumbling effort to share her truth and the palpable relief after she does so. Those of us fortunate to have found a loving response, rather than rejection, will share Gertrude’s relief when the nun responds, “It’s something so profound, so personal and it’s often difficult to take on. But when you’re like that, you’re like that. So it’s something you take on. Now how will you live it? That’s your responsibility. Understand?”
“The affection she had for me is still there,” says Gertrude. “I won’t forget that. She took time to understand me. That takes love.”
The film — winner of a number of awards including the 2013 Outfest (Los Angeles) Grand Jury Documentary — also highlights the brave work of Cameroonian human rights lawyer Alice Nkom, based in Douala, one of the few lawyers in the country willing to represent men and women accused of homosexual conduct.
The most dramatic moments in Born This Way come by way of a hidden camera brought into a packed courtroom where Ms. Nkom is representing two women, Esther and Pascaline, arrested for being lesbians. The women lost their jobs and had to move. Ms. Nkom argued the judge should throw out the case because Article 347 of the Penal Code, the law used to persecute and prosecute gay and lesbian people, is invalid as it is contrary to Cameroon’s constitution. The judge rejected Ms. Nkom’s argument, convicted and sentenced the two women to five years in prison. While the women await their appeal to the country’s supreme court, they have become outspoken LGBT activists in Cameroon.
Cedric and Gertrude’s stories have happier outcomes, as both of them ultimately receive asylum and relocate to the United States. “I’m very happy to be here,” says Cedric. “It’s a big relief to be rid of those people.”
Over footage showing her receiving communion from the Mother Superior, Gertrude says, “Before, if I’d go by a Catholic church, I’d just go in and cry and cry. I still cry, but not like before.”
The bright smiles, happy dancing and joyful music shared by men and women at an Alternatives Cameroon gathering will be familiar to anyone who has attended an LGBT Pride event. But so will the stories, like Cedric’s and Gertrude’s, and the private fears and tears behind the smiling, dancing and joy.
 
 

Filed Under: Anti-Bullying & Homophobia Tagged With: anti-gay, Anti-Gay Discrimination, politics, witchunts

God’s warriors are locked in a barbaric, futile battle against marriage equality

16/12/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

The Guardian LogoDavid Marr
Thursday 10 December
 
 
 
 
 
 

The opposition of Australian bishops to equal marriage is ignored by the public and will ultimately be faced down. But not before the established church threatens mayhem and terrifies politicians in defence of the status quo

 The Catholic Archbishop of Sydney, Anthony Fisher, delivering the homily during the annual marriage mass and renewal of vows at St Mary’s Cathedral in Sydney. ‘Fisher said nothing that cold night at St Mary’s Cathedral about his church’s rule that these men are bound for hell if they ever have sex with one another. Perhaps he didn’t need to.’ Photograph: Paul Miller/AAP


The Catholic Archbishop of Sydney, Anthony Fisher, delivering the homily during the annual marriage mass and renewal of vows at St Mary’s Cathedral in Sydney. ‘Fisher said nothing that cold night at St Mary’s Cathedral about his church’s rule that these men are bound for hell if they ever have sex with one another. Perhaps he didn’t need to.’ Photograph: Paul Miller/AAP


 
The power of the hard men of God is one of the great political puzzles of this country. They are the only opponents of equal marriage. They don’t remotely have the numbers. But they have log-jammed reform.
I’ve been tracking the power of these people most of my professional life. It’s no wonder. When I was a kid journalist, sex for men like me was a crime nearly everywhere in Australia.
Kissing was assault. One year in the early 1980s, a Sydney magistrate fined a man $50 for tongue-kissing another on the dance floor of an Oxford Street club. Fucking carried a prison sentence of 14 years.
In that lost world, hardly anyone was thrown behind bars. The point was the threat and the shame. The upshot was corruption and violence. Lives were ruined.
And just as they are fighting today against equal marriage, warriors of the cloth battled with everything they had to keep it that way.
They fought from the pulpit, in the press and along the corridors of every parliament in the land. They fought in the name of children – and, yes, some of these men turned out to be protecting paedophiles. They vilified homosexuals. They declared the fate of western civilisation was hanging in the balance.

The faiths remain the most resilient, most respected and the best-connected lobby in the nation

Australians wanted these cruel laws changed. We are not a profoundly conservative country. Support for keeping sodomy a crime had collapsed here just as it had in the rest of the western world.
What made reform such an agonising business in Australia wasn’t overcoming public reluctance but defeating the preachers. They can’t promise votes. They can threaten mayhem.
Politicians are terrified of them. Grappling with churches is about the most distasteful contest they can imagine. The faiths remain the most resilient, most respected and the best-connected lobby in the nation.
Whether the issue is homosexuality, divorce, abortion, euthanasia or equal marriage, religion has the power to shatter party discipline.
Neville Wran, an atheist premier with a fat majority, shilly-shallied over the change for the best part of a decade. He could count absolutely on the people of New South Wales. Their support for decriminalising homosexuality was never in doubt. But he feared humiliation at the hands of his caucus.
Sydney Mardi Gras was already touted round the world before Wran acted. That was in 1984. Already over the line were South Australia, Victoria and the ACT. Tasmania was the last state to stare down the preachers in 1997.
The battle for equal marriage brings back to the field the same old rhetoric, the same fears, the same tactics and the same combatants.
This is not a pitched battle between Christian and secular Australia. Many Christians find the fight against equal marriage embarrassing, even barbaric. Their voices are hardly heard.
 

 Facebook Twitter Pinterest A letter from the Catholic Bishops of Australia arguing against same-sex marriage and marriage equality. Photograph: Catholic Bishops of Australia


A letter from the Catholic Bishops of Australia arguing against same-sex marriage and marriage equality. Photograph: Catholic Bishops of Australia


 
Politicians fear the defenders of the citadel: Catholic and Orthodox bishops; evangelical Anglicans; Presbyterians and other protestants who shunned the Uniting Church; mighty Hillsong and those who gather under the umbrella of the Australian Christian Lobby. Their (mostly) silent partners in the struggle are Muslims and conservative Jews.
Miraculously they are holding the line.
Much deeper than bigotry
I know many of these warriors. I’ve debated them, read their work and reported their campaigns. To call them bigots is too simple. Though without the loathing of homosexuality, there would be far fewer recruits to their crusades.
Disgust comes gorgeously packaged these days. “God made every person unique and irreplaceable as His beloved images in this world,” the Catholic Archbishop of Sydney, Anthony Fisher, preached this past winter. “If God loves people with same-sex attraction, so must the church.”
Fisher said nothing that cold night at St Mary’s Cathedral about his church’s rule that these men are bound for hell if they ever have sex with one another. Perhaps he didn’t need to. The teaching is so familiar.
Disgust comes gorgeously packaged these days
And though he spoke of the “justice and compassion” Catholics offer homosexuals, he forgot to mention the exemptions his church – and most faiths – demand from anti-discrimination laws so they can go on refusing to employ lesbians, transsexuals and homosexuals or sack any they discover on the payrolls of their schools, charities and hospitals.
The faiths call this just discrimination. As Fisher said so piously that night: “All forms of unjust discrimination must be opposed.”
This goes much deeper than bigotry. It’s about claiming the most intimate power over believers, the power to forbid any sex without the blessing of the church. That means never before marriage; never outside marriage; and, of course, never with the same sex.
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These ancient rules were law for centuries. Judges and police were supposed to jump to the aid of bishops and preachers. The noose and the stake sent the worst offenders to hell. Shame did the rest.
Nearly every one of these laws is dead and gone after titanic brawls we tend to put out of our minds because they seem, in retrospect, so absurd. This is a mistake. The lesson is that we’re fighting the one battle here, over and over again.
And because the warriors of the faiths know the tide of popular opinion is running strongly against them, they fight for keeps. They realise no defeat will ever be reversed. It’s once and forever.
So they dig in with a particular and at times comic ferocity. The example of the world counts for nothing in their eyes. Though equal marriage has been embraced by nearly every Western nation, the warriors are fighting to the last – just as they fought no-fault divorce, the morning-after pill, IVF for lesbians, smut on television and sparing gays the useful terror of prison.
 Facebook Twitter Pinterest George Brandis, the attorney general, criticised ‘an alarming emergence of intolerance of religious faith’. Photograph: Mick Tsikas/AAP


George Brandis, the attorney general, criticised ‘an alarming emergence of intolerance of religious faith’. Photograph: Mick Tsikas/AAP


 
Australia is the land of the warriors’ last resort.
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But the troops are deserting them. The faithful are no longer as willing as they were to obey the ancient Christian sex rules. They have shrugged off the power of their bishops and preachers.
Just like the rest of us they live together before they marry. They use the pill. They have abortions. They divorce. They remarry without annulment. They aren’t much troubled by their homosexual brothers and children. And most back equal marriage.
When Crosby Textor asked Australians in 2014 if they supported or opposed allowing same-sex couples to marry, they found support high across the faiths as well as Australia:
Total support: 72%.
Catholics: 67%.
Christians generally: 59%.
Anglican and Uniting: 57%.
The bishops aren’t speaking for their flocks. And while the Australian Christian Lobby blasts marriage reform with startling ferocity, pollsters make it clear these preachers speaks for few of us.
According to Crosby Textor only 21% of Australians oppose equal marriage. For every opponent there are three or more Australians who support equal marriage. Success should be a lay down misère.
It isn’t.
 Facebook Twitter Pinterest A composite image of Australian same-sex couples. A Crosby Textor poll found that 72% of people supported marriage equality. Photograph: Getty Images


A composite image of Australian same-sex couples. A Crosby Textor poll found that 72% of people supported marriage equality. Photograph: Getty Images


 
The Catholic Bishops’ Conference issued a pastoral letter earlier this year called Don’t Mess with Marriage. The pictures are gorgeous. Disdain for homosexuals is buried beneath the usual gauzy rhetoric about love, respect and justice.
“We wish,” say the bishops “to engage with this debate.” There’s no debate. They simply assert in various ways on page after page that marriage can only ever be “an institution designed to support people of the opposite sex to be faithful to each other and to the children of their union.”
A complaint about Don’t Mess with Marriage has been taken to the Tasmanian Anti-Discrimination Board. This is ludicrous. Homosexuals don’t need to run to tribunals for protection from the insults of the clergy.
And the case is a gift to Christian hardliners. They are crying liberty.
“Same-sex marriage ideology is incompatible with freedom,” the head of the ACL thundered. “All of the debate of the past five years has been about forcing people of conscience to bow to the new definition of marriage.”
News Corp columnists have taken up this line with extraordinary passion. In prose that wouldn’t disgrace the King James Bible, Paul Kelly warns of “a calculated strike by parliaments and anti-discrimination boards using the cover of same-sex justice to achieve a quantum reduction in religious freedom and a pivotal change in the norms of our society.”
In early November, the attorney general, George Brandis, spoke of “an alarming emergence of intolerance of religious faith” by some of the most voluble elements in the community” when he opened the Human Rights Commission’s “roundtable” on religious freedom.
“It is the work of the roundtable,” Brandis said, “to develop strategies and understandings which promote a spirit of tolerance and mutual respect within a culture of freedom.”
Australians have grown cynical about claims that the faiths are the true guardians of families and children. That’s looking, after a couple of years’ evidence to the royal commission into institutional responses to child sexual abuse, a little shop soiled.
But we care about religious freedom. We remain tolerant of churches. We loathe interfering in their affairs. As much as possible we want to leave them to themselves. We are oddly reluctant even to name them as opponents – often the only opponents – in political contests of this kind.
This is an asset for the faiths that gives them strength beyond their numbers. And they are even stronger because this secular, respectful country doesn’t have much appetite for interrogating their claims. We say: that’s just them.
But as the fight over equal marriage takes this turn, it has to be asked what the hard men of God mean when they say liberty of faith is under threat in Australia? Is there anything at stake here other than them wanting to go on belittling homosexuals at maximum volume?
Two fundamental claims lie behind the rhetoric of freedom imperilled.
First, the warriors say abuse is forcing them into the shadows. They want to be loved as they pursue their ancient quarrels. Men who might once have faced lions for their faith are whinging about ridicule.
Here is Fisher a few weeks ago: “When people like me … enter the fray on marriage we now expect to be tagged ‘ultra-conservative’, ‘tedious imbecile’, ‘delusional nutter’, ‘evangelical clap-trapper’ and even ‘nauseating piece of filth’ not just in the anti-social media but even in the mainstream.
“What is new is that such ad hominem hails not just from fevered activists and net trolls but from respected journalists and public figures.”
The warriors of the cloth ought not to be abused. But men like Fisher are strangely unwilling to grasp why their opposition to equal marriage might stir ugly passions. Right or wrong, they seem unable to acknowledge the profound change of heart in this country to both homosexuality and marriage.
Men like Sydney Anglican priest Peter Kurti see themselves not as collateral damage in a great shift of values but targets of an “aggressive secularism that wants to drive religion out of the public square”.
“This campaign seeks completely to drive away religion, particularly Christianity, from the social and cultural realm where faith is practised, to the private and confined realm of the mind.”
That deserted public square is a key image in this debate. But men like Kurti, Fisher and Lyle Shelton are as active as ever in that space. They have all the platforms they have ever had to pursue their causes. They may not have the airtime they would like, but in a year or so there is to be a national debate on same-sex marriage on which Canberra has promised to spend $160m.
They aren’t victims. They just don’t have the traction they once had. They aren’t as respected. They aren’t as believed. They have lost their veto.
Abusing them is inexcusable, but what has happened to Christian fortitude? Aren’t the warriors of the faith supposed to boast rather than complain that standing against the zeitgeist earns them no applause?
I have read thousands of words trying to identify any freedom at stake that doesn’t involve demeaning homosexuals
The second fundamental is the claim allowing equal marriage would mean the inevitable loss of religious liberty.
It’s apparently a zero sum game for the warriors: freedom won is freedom lost. When two blokes are allowed to marry, the faiths are no longer free.
I have read thousands of words over the last weeks trying to identify any freedom at stake in this exchange that doesn’t involve demeaning homosexuals in the name of their God.
Alas, in the words of the old song, that’s all there is.
Fisher promotes a grim dystopian future should equal marriage ever become the law of the land. It’s easy slippery slope stuff: allow this, and what other horrors – like forcing churches to pay tax – might follow?
Of this mythical Australia of 2025 he said: “Already one Catholic bishop has been briefly jailed for refusing to apply the state-approved ‘LGBTIQQ safety protocols and awareness program’ to the schools in his diocese; and parents at Jewish and Muslim schools have been advised that they may not withdraw their children from such programs.
“Many clergy and teachers in faith-based schools have been cowed with threats of prosecution for ‘hate speech’ if they teach that divine law limits marriage to people of opposite sex.”
Disdain for homosexuals is key to these fears, but they go deeper than bigotry. Allow men to marry each other, and what happens to church teaching that marriage is the sacred gateway to sex?
Opposition to same sex marriage isn’t about freedom, it’s about privilege. It’s a last ditch stand to keep the most fundamental of the sex rules of Christendom entrenched in law.
Fisher and his kind know they will never be forced to perform same-sex marriages themselves. Nor would any Australian government compel them to allow their churches to be used for such ceremonies. Yet in a world that accepts same sex-marriage they see such “niggardly exemptions” as not enough to guarantee their freedom.
This is where they talk of small town martyrs in North America: men and women of profound faith compelled to bake wedding cakes, take wedding photographs and offer double beds to honeymooning gay couples.
Fisher is calling for these “ordinary believers and their businesses” to be exempted from anti-discrimination laws. Hardliners across the board want the legal privileges enjoyed – and fiercely protect – by their religious organisations to be extended to the faithful.
 Bob Katter refused to allow publicly homophobic candidates run for his party. Even a man running a breakaway party based in rural Queensland could see this was poison at the ballot box. Photograph: Mick Tsikas/AAP

Bob Katter refused to allow publicly homophobic candidates run for his party. Even a man running a breakaway party based in rural Queensland could see this was poison at the ballot box. Photograph: Mick Tsikas/AAP


 
As each month passes, this astonishing demand to bust anti-discrimination schemes across Australia is looking more and more like a deal being offered by the faiths to government.
“The terms of their defeat are up for grabs,” says David Glasgow, an Australian lawyer working at New York University Law School. He has watched the same demands being made by the faithful across America since the supreme court approved equal marriage in June.
“Many religious people object to all homosexual activity and relationships, not just marital ones. If baking a cake makes a business owner complicit in the sin of same-sex marriage, a wide range of activities could make them complicit in the sin of same-sex relationships.
“What’s to stop an architect from claiming that it violates his or her faith to build a home for a same-sex couple, or a police officer saying the same when asked to keep the peace at a pride march … this is religious liberty on steroids.”

The end is nigh

I won’t be rushing to marry. It didn’t turn out so well the last time. And I reckon that after nearly 20 years, my partner and I are as married as two people can be. No kids of course, but absolutely married.
How Australia has changed even in those years. One marker I love of that transformation was Bob Katter’s refusal a couple of years ago to allow two candidates for his Katter Australia Party to fly the flag of homophobia.
One tweeted he would never allow a gay person to teach his children. The other equated homosexuals with paedophiles. Both were dumped. Even a man running a breakaway party based in rural Queensland could see this was poison at the ballot box

 Facebook Twitter Pinterest A rally for marriage equality in May, attended by Christine Forster, the sister of Tony Abbott, and her partner Virginia Edwards. Photograph: Lisa Maree Williams/Getty Images

A rally for marriage equality in May, attended by Christine Forster, the sister of Tony Abbott, and her partner Virginia Edwards. Photograph: Lisa Maree Williams/Getty Images


 
So why do politicians take it seriously when it’s delivered from the pulpit?
The politics of salvation are always on the boil in this country. But this is not an entirely bleak story. Within the churches, fine men and women continue to struggle against the forces of punitive Christianity. Christians everywhere have joined the fight for equal marriage.
And the wishes of the people can’t be denied forever. That’s the lesson from the brawls of my youth over gay rights. Good, secular sense wins out in the end. It always does.
Equal marriage will happen. There are more rounds to fight. But even the most hardline contenders know it will happen. God’s work is in the delay, in making change as painful as possible.
But Australia will get there in the end

Filed Under: Anti-Bullying & Homophobia Tagged With: Australia, church, marriage equality, politics

Here’s What It’s Like To Go Through Gay Conversion Therapy In Australia

11/12/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

buzzfeed news logo
Lane Sainty

BuzzFeed News Reporter, Australia

 

Conversion therapy is all but dead in Australia – but what will it take to kill it?

Candelight

“Please take this from me, I don’t want to be gay.”
Brisbane man Johann De Joodt knows first hand the horrors of gay conversion therapy.
A participant in numerous programs designed to purge his homosexuality during his twenties and thirties, De Joodt adopted a traumatising routine of church, sin and repentance that looped on repeat every week for 15 years.
“Sunday, I was going up to the altar, crying out to God,” he said. “Monday, I would sin by having sex with another man, and then beat myself up to a pulp so by Saturday I was suicidal. I’d manage to get myself to church on Sunday and then do it again, every week.”

“That was basically my life.”

“When a church leader says being gay is an abomination, people say, ‘you’re talking about my uncle who I love very much.’”

The question of whether conversion therapy works was answered long ago: it doesn’t. Leading psychological associations in Australia and around the world have denounced therapy that attempts to change sexual orientation. Earlier this year, a report from the UN High Commissioner for Human Rights called for nations to ban the practice, describing it as “unethical, unscientific and ineffective and, and may be tantamount to torture”.
Partly as a result of these strident denouncements, the prevalence of such therapy has significantly declined in Australia. Around 40 providers across the country in 2000 have dwindled to just a handful still in action today.
“There’s very little left. It’s in disarray,” says former pastor Anthony Venn-Brown. Venn-Brown, who has himself been through reparative therapy, is the most prominent voice on conversion therapy in Australia. He now works as the founder and CEO of Ambassadors and Bridge Builders International (ABBI), a group that works to combat ignorance and hostility between the LGBT community and churches.

Anthony Venn-Brown. Hadden Motion Pictures

Speaking to BuzzFeed News at a cafe in Waterloo, Sydney, Venn-Brown suggests another part of the decline is due to a growing acceptance of gay people in wider society – which, of course, includes churches too.
“More people are out, churchgoers have got gay sisters, brothers, colleagues, friends,” Venn-Brown says.
“When a church leader says being gay is an abomination, people say, ‘you’re talking about my uncle who I love very much.’”
The most thriving ex-gay programs are in Queensland, where Liberty Incorporated runs alongside the smaller Triumphant Ministries Toowoomba. Sydney-based Living Waters, one of Australia’s longest-running ex-gay programs, closed down last year.
There are also groups that advertise themselves as providing pastoral counselling on dealing with same-sex attraction, but clarify they do not attempt to change sexual orientation. These groups include Liberty Christian Ministries in NSW, and Renew Ministries in Victoria.
However, perhaps due to the stigma now attached to conversion therapy, there is little public information available about the funding, treatment methods and numbers of clients for each of these organisations. While Venn-Brown estimates that the programs would get “very few referrals” these days, their relative invisibility serves as a shield to such information. “We’ll never know the exact numbers,” he says.
At the heart of religious conversion therapy is “a strong belief in an all powerful God”, says Venn-Brown. Programs use a number of methods to exploit this belief, convincing participants that homosexuality is not what God wants for them. Venn-Brown went through dramatic exorcisms, where he convulsed on the floor for hours as pastors gathered around him, screaming for the demon of homosexuality to exit his soul.
Other methods include group and personal counselling, where homosexuality is posed either as a shameful habit that can be broken or an affliction, harking back to the days when it was considered a mental illness.

Brendan Hoffman / Getty Images

Johann De Joodt bristles at the description of gay conversion therapy as “nearly dead”.
“Conversion therapy hasn’t ended in Australia,” he says. “It is alive and well.”
De Joodt came to Australia from Sri Lanka in 1984. A few years later, he found himself heavily involved in the Assemblies of God Pentecostal church movement – now known as Australian Christian Churches – and struggling with his sexuality.
“I went to confess my sin of homosexuality to my pastors,” he says. “I was pretty involved in church life, and the pastor recognised that there were a few other people in the church who were struggling with their sexuality as well.”
De Joodt started the Living Waters ex-gay program in 1990. This was the first of many programs he went through, and when his weekly routine of church, sin, and self-loathing began. It wouldn’t end until 2005.
For years, De Joodt prayed the gay away as various pastors attempted to cast the demons of homosexuality from his soul. He was told his sexuality was a habit that could be broken and changed, that he was gay because he had been sexually assaulted as a child and lacked a decent father figure. He enrolled in courses on self-esteem, and learning how to say no, and did hours of counselling. He prayed, week after week after week.
Unsurprisingly, Johann stayed gay. But the years he spent in therapy ate away at him in other ways. “My health…” Johann starts, then pauses. “I am on antidepressants. Everything I’ve been through has stuffed up my mental health.”

“You were either Christian and heterosexual or you were gay and going to go to hell”

 
Since 2000, twelve peer-reviewed, primary research studies have found conversion therapy is harmful to mental health. A Columbia Law School project collating conversion therapy research found that among people who had undergone the treatment, there was a prevalence of depression, anxiety, social isolation, decreased capacity for intimacy, and suicidal thoughts and behaviours. “There is powerful evidence that trying to change a person’s sexual orientation can be extremely harmful,” the researchers concluded.
“People have taken their lives, they are now on pensions because they can’t function in everyday life,” says Venn-Brown. “There are PTSD issues, they’ve been harmed mentally, they’re traumatised.”
This manifest trauma and pain is why Venn-Brown has devoted his life to combating ignorance between the LGBT and faith community through ABBI. His daily grind is a softly-softly approach that coaxes people of faith and the LGBT community closer together. “The biggest challenge is fear,” he says without hesitation.
In the past – and in conversion therapy – being gay and being a Christian were seen as incompatible. Venn-Brown says that when he was going through therapy in the 1970s and ‘80s, there was “nobody who believed there was such a thing as a gay Christian”.
“You were either Christian and heterosexual or you were gay and going to go to hell,” he explains. “The gay Christian movement was just beginning to grow then.” After coming out in 1991, he left the Christian faith for six years – but then returned to it after realising being a gay Christian was possible. “There are things [in Christianity] that I can take, that are very real for me,” he says. “Forgiveness, sowing and reaping, having purpose.”
As attitudes have changed and churches become more permissive, many LGBT Christians have been able to reconcile their faith with their sexuality and gender identity. However, a damaging rift still exists between the two communities, with years of betrayal from religious organisations leaving LGBT people fearful and unwilling to engage. Those hurt most by the hostility are LGBT Christians, who are often left feeling as though they belong in neither camp.
“Just as Christians have stereotyped all LGBT people, some LGBT people have stereotyped all Christians,” says Venn-Brown. “We get called perverts, abominations, they get called bigots and haters. And that doesn’t get us anywhere, just sitting back in our camps, our tribes, throwing barbs at each other.”
It’s obvious the division is unhelpful – but is being called a pervert really on par with being called a bigot? Venn-Brown pauses before answering, in short, no.
“It’s about the perception – we will often hear, a Christian like [Australian Christian Lobby Managing Director] Lyle Shelton or [Christian Democrats leader] Fred Nile say ‘I am not homophobic’. But everything that comes out of their mouth is completely homophobic. They just don’t understand what homophobia is, because they’ve never experienced it,” he says.
“We come from our own hurt, and our own pain. And we react, as any human would, when cruel and nasty and insensitive things are said by these people.” He switches into the second person, speaking directly to those who have hurt him. “You don’t know what that does to us, because you’ve never experienced that. You don’t know what it feels like.”
But matters of blame and hostility aside, Venn-Brown is convinced his approach of “dialogue and respect” is best. He knows both the LGBT and the faith community intimately, and says church communities do not respond to “aggressive” activism.
“I introduced [Hillsong Pastor] Brian Houston to a guy in his church who had been referred to somebody [for conversion therapy],” says Venn-Brown. “I got him and his parents to write a letter, Brian met with him.”
Later, it emerged that Houston had issued a directive to all Hillsong staff to never refer anyone to these programs.
“I’ve talked with people who are major religious leaders in Australia. It’s been a journey of ten years for some of them,” Venn-Brown says. “I’ve seen progress, but not where I would want it to be. In every human rights movement, it’s taken decades to shift. If you’re not in it for the long haul, it’s not going to work.”
 

“If people want to be so small-minded as to think that you have to be straight to get into heaven then I think they’re going to get a big shock when they do get to heaven”
ABBI has also pushed for the outlawing of conversion therapy in Australia. Although Venn-Brown describes the movement these days as “irrelevant” and “inconsequential”, he says a legislative approach would send a decisive message to individuals, to churches and to society that conversion therapy is a relic of the past.

However, politicians involved in LGBT law reform say a legal approach to ending conversion therapy is complex.
“There’s not much that can be done to target these organisations specifically at a federal level, other than continuing to tighten anti-discrimination legislation and look at the applicability of consumer law,” Greens senator Robert Simms tells BuzzFeed News.
If providing the therapy was considered a breach of the Sex Discrimination Act, it’s likely that the religious exemptions in the Sex Discrimination Act would protect conversion therapy providers. Under Australian consumer law, the religious and not-for-profit aspects of most conversion therapy programs would mean they are not considered “commercial in nature”. While such laws could be tweaked, says Simms, it’s unlikely they could be used as a mechanism to eradicate the therapy altogether.
Graham Perrett, a co-chair of the Parliamentary Friends of LGBTI People Working Group, says a federal law banning conversion therapy may be unconstitutional.
“In terms of section 51 on the powers of the parliament, I can’t see any head of power that would give the federal parliament any capacity to make gay conversion therapy illegal in Australia,” he says.
There are some legal avenues under state and territory law as well, with acts in all jurisdictions outlawing advertising of health services that are deceptive or misleading. It could also be possible to lodge a complaint with the Australian Psychological Society that their code of ethics has been breached.
However, there is no black and white policy solution to immediately ending conversion therapy.
“It’s all just prejudice welded onto quackery packaged by a religious organisation,” says Perrett.
“I think education is the best antidote.”

Sebastien Bozon / AFP / Getty Images

De Joodt’s conversion journey reached a fork in 2005. His conversion counsellor at the time, CEO of Liberty Incorporated Paul Wegner, told him “I can help you suppress your sexual desires, but I can’t help you change your sexual orientation”.

“I was like, ‘Well, what’s the point?” says De Joodt. “If you take a ball and try to push it in a bucket of water and let go, it’s going to eventually pop up.”

He came out, lost “a lot of people”, and left his Pentecostal church. He went to the LGBT-friendly Metropolitan Community Church for a few years, and then stopped that, too. But God is still in his life.
“I have days where I feel like a Christian, and there are other days where I feel like I hate God,” he says.
“I think I’ve resolved my sexuality with my faith. If people want to be so small-minded as to think that you have to be straight to get into heaven then I think they’re going to get a big shock when they do get to heaven.”
A pause, and then: “I think God is bigger than the box you put God into.”
It’s because of this new understanding of faith, says De Joodt, that he doesn’t relapse into wanting to be straight again. “I’ve come to a point where I believe I need to be honest before myself, and before my God.”
“There’s a famous saying, isn’t there?” He thinks aloud. “Change what you can change and leave the rest to God? Or something like that. Accept the things you can’t change?”
A quick Google search later, it becomes apparent De Joodt was trying to recall the words of the Serenity Prayer, brought into popular culture by its widespread use in Alcoholics Anonymous meetings:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change / The courage to change the things I can / And the wisdom to know the difference.
It took years of anguish, but finally, De Joodt has been granted that serenity. He knows the difference, too.
“If God wanted just another heterosexual, God could have created one, but instead God created me fabulous,” he says.
“My sexual orientation is something I cannot change.”
A spokesperson for Liberty Christian Ministries declined a request to be interviewed for this piece. Requests sent to Liberty Incorporated and Triumphant Ministries Toowoomba were not responded to.

Lane Sainty is a reporter for BuzzFeed News and is based in Sydney, Australia.
Contact Lane Sainty at lane.sainty@buzzfeed.com.

Filed Under: Anti-Bullying & Homophobia, Campaigns Tagged With: Australia, bigotry, conversion therapy, gay conversion, homophobia, politics

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