Archives for May 2015

Billy Strayhorn, Duke Ellington’s Gay Composer

05/05/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

Editorial: Strayhorn “made” the Ellington ‘sound’ (it is very elegant, just a pity I don’t think jazz should be ‘elegant’), he was despised by the Be-boppers (possibly the fact that he was queer might have had something to do with it), but in a sense they were even worse. Strayhorn was a Ravelian (though Ravel used jazz ‘tropes’ – so it was mirror flattery, though Ravel was dead before Strayhorn got into his stride.

The be-boppers (c 1943[ish] ’til the lat[ish]1950s), were Bartókian.

That would had been fine, if they had applied Bartók’s procedures (to Hungarian, Slovak, Romanian – and general Balkan / SE Europe ) folk music. But they applied it to a form of music which was in the very easy stages of development, which could have been disastrous, fortunately it’s idiot (in many ways) child rock grew up to be something substantial.

Strayhorn was very cute in a cuddly sort of way. Killed himself with ‘drugs’ and smoking – ‘straights’ as it happened.

A victim of tobacco.

Sean McGouran

Reposted from OUT

BY JULIEN SAUVALLE

APRIL 29 2015 4:44 PM EDT

Billy Strayhorn, Duke Ellington’s Gay Composer

As the world celebrates Ellington’s birthday, we look back on his openly gay pianist, composer, and friend Billy Strayhorn.

You’ve likely never heard Strayhorn’s voice, but you’ve heard his work: From the early 1940s to his death in 1967, the composer, arranger, and pianist helped Duke Ellington craft his greatest hits, including “Chelsea Bridge” and “Take The ‘A’ Train.”

Strayhorn was born in 1915 in Dayton, Ohio. One of the very few openly gay jazzmen of his (or any) time, he studied at the Pittsburgh Music Institute, and, while still in his teens, began composing the songs “Something to Live For” and “Life Is Lonely”, later renamed “Lush Life”, which opens with the line “I used to visit all the very gay places.”

Though the word “gay” had a different meaning at the time, sexual freedom and personal individuality were a big part of jazz music. Some blues women already alluded to homosexual love in their songs, and Strayhorn’s own lyrics reflected his passions, always in a nuanced and poetic way. “It’s major to know that Strayhorn wrote ‘Lush Life’ as a prolifically gifted, gay black male teenager living in Jim Crow America,” says Candice Hoyes, a soprano jazz singer who recently released her debut album, On a Turquoise Cloud, a compilation of rare Duke Ellington songs that includes two Strayhorn compositions. “Everyone marvels at how wise beyond his years, how introspective the melody and words are. But when you consider his work, you get it.”
Strayhorn met Ellington in December 1938, when the musician and his band performed in Pittsburgh. After the show, Strayhorn got Ellington’s attention by telling him how he would have re-arranged his songs –and then, he proceeded to show him. Impressed by the young man’s skills, Ellington invited Strayhorn to meet the band again in New York. It marked the beginning of a collaboration that spanned three decades.

Strayhorn (left) with Duke Ellington (Photo: The Duke Ellington Center)
“Strayhorn and Ellington had a soul connection,” Hoyes says. “Strayhorn’s musical genius with melody, lyrics, and his classical training, all combined with Ellington’s assertiveness and vision to make some perfect music.” Ellington was particularly fond of Strayhorn, referring to his acolyte as “my right arm, my left arm, all the eyes in the back of my head, my brain waves in his head, and his in mine.” Ellington was also a father figure for him: Strayhorn’s own father was abusive, and Ellington saw and embraced his genius early on, when Strayhorn was only 23.
Among his friends in the New York jazz scene, Strayhorn had the most influence on singer Lena Horne, who wanted to marry him and considered him to be the love of her life. Strayhorn used his classical background to improve Horne’s singing technique, and they eventually recorded songs together, but, to Horne’s dismay, Strayhorn was in a committed ten-year relationship with Aaron Bridgers, a jazz pianist who eventually moved to Paris (alone) in 1947.

Billy Strayhorn Aaron Bridgers Billy Holiday Harlem

Left: Strayhorn (center) with his partner Aaron Bridgers (left) and singer Billy Holiday (right). Right: Bridgers and Strayhorn at a party in Harlem. Pictures viaqueermusicheritage.com
In the 1950s, Strayhorn left Ellington to pursue a solo career, coming out with a few albums and revues. He was also a champion of civil rights: An ally to Martin Luther King, Jr., Strayhorn wrote activist compositions that honored King and his movement, including “King Fit the Battle of Alabama” for the Ellington Orchestra, which was part of the historical revue (and album) My People, released in 1963 and dedicated to King.
A few months before King’s assassination, Strayhorn died from esophageal cancer, at 51. He was in the company of Bill Grove, then his partner of three years. Devastated after hearing the news, Ellington recorded a memorial album, And His Mother Called Him Bill, which included Strayhorn’s beautiful piano balad “Thank You For Everything”, also known as “Lotus Blossom.” Ellington performed the song alone while the rest of his band was packing up, leaving him to reminisce about his creative soul mate, and the timeless music they made together.
For more information on Billy Strayhorn, go to BillyStrayhorn.com.
Candice Hoyes’s album On a Turquoise Cloud, including Strayhorn’s “Violet Blue” and “Thank You For Evertyhing”, is available now at Onaturquoisecloud.com

Book Review: EXPOSÉ by Paul Ilett

05/05/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

GAY SUPERSTAR TAKES ON A HOMOPHOBIC TABLOID IN THE NEW SATIRICAL THRILLER EXPOSÉ

EXPOSÉ by Paul Ilett

<br />
THE DAILY EAR is the world’s most infamous tabloid newspaper with an unparalleled reputation for exposing the private lives of the rich and famous. Feared by celebrities and politicians alike, it has left a trail of shattered lives in its wake.
But reporters have secrets too.
And what better way for Gay superstar Adam Jaymes to reap revenge than to do to the staff at Daily Ear what they’ve been doing to everyone else for decades?
Exposé is a satirical thriller that takes readers into the murky world of the UK’s No1 daily paper, as the shameful secrets of the tabloid’s star journalists are exposed for all to see.
Touching on dozens of real-life scandals, the novel will keep you guessing who at the tabloid is next on Jaymes’ hit list and what deep, dark secrets he is about to expose.
Reviews
“Tabloid newspapers thrive on the saucy, salacious secrets of celebs. But imagine if the tables suddenly turned and the staff were under the spotlight? As megastar actor Adam Jaymes rips into the private lives of the team at the Daily Ear, you’ll find yourself eagerly awaiting the exposés – and wondering who’s next on his hit list. There are plenty of unsavoury characters to choose from but they’re still quite likeable at the same time which is down to the great writing. A fantastic début from a former journalist” ★★★★ The Sun
“A timely tale of tabloid culture – sure to appeal to celebrity readers especially” Attitude Magazine

Gay Muslim risked death to produce documentary about pilgrimage

05/05/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

Republished from

GLBT News

The official news outlet for the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender Round Table of the American Library Association
On: May 3, 2015

By John Mack Freeman
Screen-Shot-2015-04-30-at-10.10.58-AM-360x199

Out Muslim filmmaker Parvez Sharma produced a documentary about his pilgrimage to Mecca (known in Islam as a “Hajj”). Primarily filmed with cell phones and small cameras, the documentary traces the trip through an area where homosexuality is punishable by death and filming is forbidden.
Via Queerty:

The film was denounced by the Iranian state media as a “Western conspiracy” to legitimize the “despicable sin of homosexuality,” and security for the three sold-out screenings a the Hot Docs festival in Toronto was amped up in light of the death threats and hate mail Sharma has received.
“The Hajj is the highest calling for any Muslim,” Sharma explained. “For years I felt I really needed to go, so this film is about me coming out as a Muslim. I’m done coming out as a gay man.”
He shot the film on iPhones and other small cameras, as filming is not permitted. Along the way his equipment was seized, footage deleted, and he constantly feared for his freedom and life.
But it was never about salting wounds, says the director, but rather healing them.
“I feel the film is a call to action to all Muslims to change the things that need to change within 21st Century Islam,” he said. “We’re running out of time.”

Election Fever – Peter Robinson on Homosexuality

02/05/2015 By ACOMSDave 1 Comment

Editorial: During Election Fever it does happen that some leaders become leaders, some become leaders in waiting, and some become leaders who are wanting. We would suggest that you view this interview with Peter Robinson, look at the history of the DUP, and decide for yourselves whether the DUP are a progressive party with LGBT rights built into their DNA!

So have the DUP a policy over LGBT rights, Asa Bennett wrote in his column, that David Cameron would not find it easy to create an alliance with the DUP because of their track history, i.e.
Jim Wells resigned as the DUP’s health minister after recently saying that “the gay lobby is insatiable, they don’t know when enough is enough”, adding: “The facts show that you certainly don’t bring a child up in a homosexual relationship. That child is far more likely to be abused or neglected”.
Iris Robinson, a former DUP MP and wife of the current party leader, Peter Robinson, described homosexuality as “disgusting, loathsome, nauseating, wicked and vile”, as well as an “abomination” that could be “cured”. Mr Robinson supported his wife’s remarks, saying: “It wasn’t Iris Robinson who determined that homosexuality was an abomination, it was The Almighty. This is the Scriptures. It is a strange world indeed where somebody on the one hand talks about equality, but won’t allow Christians to have the equality, the right to speak, the right to express their views.”
Obviously other parties have made comment on this interview,
Alliance Justice spokesperson, Stewart Dickson MLA, has criticised Peter Robinson’s remarks that if homosexuality was criminalised that he hoped they would obey the law.
Mr Robinson was questioned by the BBC on the remarks by his Mid Ulster Councillor, Paul McLean, who wanted homosexuality to be criminalised.
Stewart Dickson MLA said: “These remarks are just the latest in a long line of disgraceful and appalling comments by the DUP about the LGBT community. It beggars belief that Mr Robinson would want men and women to deny their own sexuality. He is completely out of step with British values and core beliefs.
“It is an indication of Mr Robinson’s position on these issues that he did not condemn the views of his Councillor who wanted homosexuality to be criminalised.
“Mr Robinson has got himself tied up in knots. If you are asked a question on this issue then your answer should be that you would not support the criminalisation of homosexuality.

Further Reading:

Why Gay Rights Trump Women’s Rights

01/05/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

Reprinted from ‘In these times’ – FEATURES » APRIL 17, 2015

Why aren’t we standing up against the assault on women’s rights?

BY MARILYN

Gay Rights

I’m ready to have gay rights organizations, the media and corporations, such as Walmart, Google, NASCAR and Angie’s List, be as moved to action by Purvi Patel’s 20-year incarceration as they—and I—are about the refusal of a baker to make a wedding cake for same-sex celebrations.

Well, finally someone’s finally pointed out what I (and I imagine many others) have been thinking about but have been hesitant to point out, while gay rights are doing great, women’s rights have gone down the tube. And, as bad, men don’t seem to care.
Bringing these nasty inverse trends to light was Gail Collins who in her April 3 New York Times columncontrasted the uproar over potential discrimination against same-sex couples with the silence that met the passage of new anti-abortion laws in Texas and Arizona.
While the Indiana law created an instant call for boycotts and mobilized a broad swath of opposition—including from the Indiana Chamber of Commerce, so great that Governor Pence and the legislature mounted a hasty retreat, as did those in Arkansas—not a word of ire was spoken about the egregious acts in Texas.
Back home in Indiana at the same time the wrath of entertainers, business leaders and politicians was focused on the potential harm to gays, Purvi Patel, a 33-year-old Indiana resident, became the first person in the history of the United States to be prosecuted, tried and convicted of feticide—for what she says was a miscarriage and the State argued was an illegal abortion.
Yet for this actual, not theoretical, harm to a woman, who was sentenced to 20 years in prison, there was no outcry, no threat of boycott and very little news coverage.
While I and most other feminists applaud the successful protests against Indiana’s retrograde actions and have been among the most staunch defenders of gay rights—and in fact I would argue that we are the birth mothers of the movement through our insistence on decoupling sex from procreation—I find the disparate trajectories of our movements and society’s disparate response to our injuries more than a little disturbing.
While same sex marriage laws have been approved in 37 states and the Supreme Court is poised to overturn the laws of the 13 states where such marriages were banned, nearly 100 years after its introduction, the Equal Rights Amendment for women still languishes.
While I laud the fact that gay men have fought for and won the $24.1 billion that the federal government allocates each year to fight HIV and the 56,000 new cases that arise each year, I cannot help but compare this amount to the less than $600 million the our government spends on breast cancer for which there are 231,840 new cases and 40,290 deaths each year.
While the rights of lesbians and gay men to sleep with whom they wish has been in great part both culturally and legally enshrined, the rights of women to control both their sexual activity and reproduction are increasingly under siege.
In the last five years alone 30 states have enacted more than 200 different restrictions on if, where and when women can obtain a safe and legal abortion. And in the first three months of 2015 alone, state legislatures have introduced more than 300 anti-choice statutes.
And while Indiana has now said you may not invoke personal religious beliefs in order to refuse to serve LGBT people (though you may refuse to enter into a contractual agreement with them), 46 states allow individual health care providers to refuse to provide abortion services.
Today, for the first time since Roe v. Wade, less than a third of women live in states where abortion is both legal and accessible, even in the first trimester.
And that’s just the states. On the very first day of the new Congressional session, two congressmen introduced a bill that would make most abortions performed after 20 weeks of pregnancy illegal—in total contradiction to the protections won in Roe v. Wade—and since then have introduced 28 more.
Nor is it only women’s right to abortion that is under attack. In the first months of this year alone, 16 states passed or introduced laws that under the guise of “religious freedom” may allow employers to eliminate contraception from the insurance they offer their employees. Yet,except for a Democratic-backed proposal made in jest, no legislator has ever questioned insurance payments for vasectomy—whether from public or privately issued insurance.
So, what is going on here?
Some have suggested that the reason the assault on women’s rights have elicited little or no protest is simply a matter of fatigue—that the battle for women’s equality has gone on so long that all have become tired of the issue and immune to the injuries. And there is merit to that argument, after all women have been at it for thousands of years.
Others, including well-meaning supporters, have suggested that the women’s movement just isn’t as cleaver as the LGBT rights movement, and there is merit to that argument as well. As a friend reminded me “the LGBT movement in the last 4 or so years has been the product of a brilliant strategy, carefully conceived and well executed”—involving state by state campaigns for marriage equality laws, the amassing of millions of dollars in political donations, and the strategic use of lawsuits and referenda.
Yet call me a cynic, but I think more fundamental, issues are at play— the power of money and never ending misogyny.
While women still earn 81 cents on the male-dollar, gay men’s individual earnings outpace heterosexual men’s income by $800 a year, straight women’s earnings by $18,800 a year and the income of lesbian women by a full $22,500 each year.
As for households, gay-male-partnered households earn a full $13,400 a year more than those headed by heterosexual men, $27,000 more than those headed by lesbian women.
As to the misogyny—thanks to their lack of self-consciousness (or perhaps consciousness) we’re regularly treated to the unadulterated sexist views of Republican legislators and pundits—who blithely talk of women as incapable of responsible sexual behavior or rational choice and speak of those who choose to terminate a pregnancy as murderers.
Yet it’s not simply the fringe that’s the problem. I have a sneaking suspicion that while as a society we may use women’s sexuality to sell everything from cars to buffalo wings and beer, we really don’t like women actually engaging in sex on their own terms and having the ability to make certain to solely determine the results of those encounters.
For me, having spent 40 or more years fighting along my brothers and sisters for full equality for the LGBT community, I’m ready for a bit more two-way solidarity.
I’m ready to have the NCAA, with their supposed commitment to Title IX, refuse to play in Indiana, Mississippi, Arkansas, North Dakota and Arizona because these states are openly hostile to women and our constitutional rights.
I’m ready to have gay rights organizations, the media and corporations, such as Walmart, Google, NASCAR and Angie’s List, be as moved to action by Purvi Patel’s 20-year incarceration as they—and I—are about the refusal of a baker to make a wedding cake for same-sex celebrations.
And most of all I’m waiting for the kind of Act Up outrage that the abuse of women surely deserves.

IRISH SINGER RELEASES BEAUTIFUL BALLAD FOR YES CAMPAIGN

01/05/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

IRISH SINGER-SONGWRITER, JACK O’ROURKE, HAS RELEASED ‘SILENCE’, A HAUNTING BALLAD ABOUT HIS OWN STRUGGLE FOR SELF ACCEPTANCE.

The poignant track tells the story of an adolescent having to hide his true self to avoid judgement, and beatings, from classmates.
“Silence is about my own struggle to reach self-acceptance,” says O’Rourke. “To the boy that I was, being free to live and love openly felt like an impossible dream.”
O’Rourke says that the song, proceeds of which will go towards Amnesty International’s Let’s Make History – YES Campaign, was originally slated to appear on his new EP The Other Side of Now. With the upcoming referendum on marriage equality, O’Rourke decided to release the single ahead of time.
“Ireland has a chance to take a huge step forward on the 22nd of May, to make it clear that we believe in equality – that we want to be a society where everyone is free to live and love in the open.
“I believe my song could resonate with so many people – gay, straight, whatever and particularly people on the fence about how to vote. I think people will understand that me getting married, or many like me, won’t cause the sky to fall in. The fact that my country men and women will hopefully decide that I should be free to marry the person that I love is a huge deal; it would have seemed impossible to the boy in the song. Underneath all those minor chords, the man can now dream.”.
Colm O’Gorman, Executive Director of Amnesty International-Ireland, said, “I was blown away when I first heard Silence. It is such a beautiful, poignant and powerful track. It speaks to the experience of many of us, those who grew up in an Ireland which didn’t seem to really value us. That was tough, hiding the best of ourselves, our capacity to love, forced instead to live a pretence, for fear of judgement and rejection. But hopefully that’s an Ireland we can consign to history on the 22nd of May when we have a chance to make history, to assert a republic of equals, one where we have no more ‘silent songbirds’.”
On March 22 Amnesty International Ireland launched ‘Let’s Make History’ – its campaign for a Yes vote in the Marriage Equality Referendum – with a large public rally outside the GPO on O’Connell Street in Dublin. The event saw mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, grandparents all pledging to vote YES in the upcoming referendum.

Naked athletes we’ve loved

01/05/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

Republished from Outsports.com Written By Jim Buzinski  @outsports on Nov 25, 2014, 11:39p 1

Nick Youngquest from the 2009 “Gods of Football” calendar. – Pedro Virgil

Jocks in the buff, inadvertently or not, have given us a lot of pleasure.

One of the fun parts of doing Outsports for the past 15 years have been the stories about naked athletes. They are always fun and popular since they reveal sides of athletes that are almost never meant to be seen. With the advent of blogs and social media, more nudity has been revealed than ever, some intentional and some not.

Here are some personal favorites from the past 15 years:

Austrian rugby team loses 48-0, decides to dance in town naked.
When you lose 48-0 in rugby, you can hide in your room or you can do what this Austrian rugby team did — strip and perform “Singing in the Rain” in a Lithuanian town square. Video below sort-of NSFW:

Santonio Holmes naked in the shower.
We have no idea why the then-Steelers wide receiver decided to take a nude selfie, but it’s clear why he wore #10. Follow this link to the original story, which then has a link to the picture (which is NSFW).

Chris Cooley shows us his playbook and his penis at the same time.
NFL Washington tight end Chris Cooley wanted to post a photo on his blog of how he studies his playbook. Unfortunately, he was nude in his room at the time and didn’t notice his penis peeking out from under the playbook. The team was pissed that Cooley exposed his playbook, his mom that her son made a public spectacle of himself.

Fox Sports shows Viking’s penis to world.

The same year that Cooley showed us his penis, Fox accidentally showed us Visan the Shiancoe naked in the Minnesota Vikings locker room after a win. It was a good year for tight end penis shots.

Nude selfies of Aussie rugby player show up on Twitter.
George Burgess is one of four totally hot brothers who play pro rugby in Australia. He’s the only one we know of to have nude selfies of himself wind up on Twitter. Suffice to say, Burgess is an impressive man all over.

Warwick rowers get naked to fight homophobia in sports.
The Warwick University rowing team in England has hit on a big money maker with their annual calendar and videos. They are also raising awareness of homophobia in sports, so they are good guys (and gals) doing a good thing while looking hot:

“Gods of Football” release charity calendar.
Aussie Rules Football and rugby players teamed up in 2009 for “God of Football” calendar as a fund-raiser for the McGrath Foundation, which provides funding for breast cancer nurses. I always loved this quote from rugger David “Wolfman” Williams: “It’s for a good cause. Plus, I usually get nude for a lot less.” Williams also won the 2009 King of the Hardwood contest, voted on by Outsports readers as the world’s hottest jocks.

As a holiday treat, here are some photos by Pedro Virgil of the “Gods of Football”:

GO! Athletes builds support network of LGBT high school & college athletes

01/05/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

Republished form Outsports.com – By Lauren Elizabeth Neidigh on Apr 30, 2015, 10:18a +

Many of the GO! Athletes board members attend the annual Nike LGBT Sports Summit.

GO! Athletes has a new board of directors, and they are making a push to connect with as many LGBT athletes, particularly in high school and college, as they can.

As members of the GO! Athletes network, we often hear about how LGBT athletes want a network of friends that they can identify with. At GO! Athletes, we can provide you with just that! We work to create safe spaces for athletes through visibility, advocacy, and education. We have an amazing group of people working on high school and college campuses across the nation. A few of these members are our board of directors, made up of LGBT athletes and coaches. Here they are:

Executive Director Chris Mosier is an inspiration to LGBT athletes. He is dedicated to advocating for trans people in sports, and he is a triathlete. In 2013, he launched the website transathlete.com as a resource for students, athletes, coaches, and administrators to get educated about trans issues. Chris can help LGBT athletes at all levels and is a great person to talk to about your experiences as an LGBT athlete.

Sean Smith, Managing Director, is a former NCAA swimmer and now the Chief of Staff at Imagine Swimming in New York City. As an LGBT athlete, he is a resource for athletes competing at all levels. Sean can help you by sharing his experience with working hard and overcoming adversity as an out athlete. He is extremely dedicated to building relationships and friendships with the members of our network, and would love to have you join us as a member of GO! Athletes.

As the GO! Director of Strategic Initiatives, Nora Cothren is looking forward to her role as an opportunity to guide our network to the next level. She is a former captain and ice hockey player at Smith College. She loves the GO! community and has met many amazing people through her time with GO! Nora believes that each person brings a new perspective that can spark conversation and help us see issues and concepts from different angles.

Katie Barnes, the 2015 Network Director, is a former basketball player and a coach. Katie is passionate about making sports environments safe for all people, regardless of their sexual orientation, gender identity, or gender expression. Current and former LGBT athletes and coaches can look to Katie as a role model for inclusion and courage as an out member of the LGBT community. Through the GO! network, they work to build communication in the LGBT community through conference calls.

Josh Sanders, our Director of External Engagement, speaks across the nation about intersectional issues such as religion, homophobia, sexism, racism, and other topics. He believes that sports are a catalyst for changing culture and impacting the world for the better. As our Director of External Engagement, his mission is to build on our goals of engaging, educating, and empowering LGBTQ athletes and others. Josh will lend a helping hand to young athletes who have struggled with their identities and faced negative situations due to their sexuality or gender identity, in order to make sports an inclusive and positive experience in their lives.
Monica Rochon, our Director of Educational Leadership, is a running back for the Tampa Bay Inferno tackle football team. They believe political education is critical to understanding the history of oppression, power, privilege, and the intersections of identity. As the, GO! director of educational leadership, they want to give social justice education opportunities to current and former athletes. Young LGBT athletes can reach out to Monica to learn about and discuss important issues surrounding race, gender, and sexuality in sports, as well as how to establish a GO! Chapter at their schools.

I’m proud to say I was given the Director of Social Media and Digital Initiatives position and the opportunity to work with these amazing people. I have been swimming since I was 8 years old, competing from age group events to the Olympic Trials and NCAA competitions. Coming from a place where there aren’t many other LGBT athletes, I felt like I fit in with GO! and was more confident being a part of the group. I would love to have you reach out to us via social media, so we can start important conversations about issues and solutions that you are passionate about, and provide you with support.

Our board is excited to be working together towards inclusion, and helping LGBT youth. We encourage you to reach out to any of us through our social media platforms. Promoting equality in sports is a team effort, and we want you on our team. You can check out our website: goathletes.org and learn more about the GO! Athletes network.

Check out GO! Athletes on their Web site or Facebook page.

Statistics Stranger Than Truth

01/05/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

“Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are pliable.”

Mark Twain

As reported in the Belfast Telegraph, on April 30, 2015, ‘Statistics used on LGBT have been distorted’!

“Discriminated Against” (Write Back, April 27) is right that, even if Stella Wilson’s statistics on the numbers of LGBT people were correct (Write Back, April 23), her lower figures are no reason to discriminate.

But her figures are not correct, making her doubly wrong. (She knows this, because I explained it to her in February.)
The numbers are from surveys in which 2.4%-2.7% of the 16-to-24 age group reported being LGBT, but only 0.5% of the over-65s.
This does not mean that young gay people are turning straight – against all scientific evidence – rather it indicates that older generations, who grew up in less-liberal times, are unlikely to admit to being gay to a stranger conducting a survey. So all we are seeing is under-reporting in older age groups.
Sexual orientation and identity (they are not the same thing) are fixed for the overwhelming majority of people, of any age.
Stella Wilson is deliberately misinterpreting data to make it fit her agenda.
DR STEPHEN MORETON
By email

Tom Luchsinger – Sportsman

01/05/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

King of the Double Life: Olympic hopeful Tom Luchsinger could hide being gay from the cameras but not the mirror

By Tom Luchsinger on Dec 14, 2014, 5:48p 6

Tom Luchsinger is sponsored by Arena. – Facebook

How Olympic hopeful and national champion swimmer Tom Luchsinger wrestled with being gay in front of the cameras – and his mirror. The former Univ. of North Carolina standout shares his experiences in the closet.

April 2013. I wake up and look at the clock. 2:58 AM. I have a long day ahead of me.

I don’t have to be up for another two hours and five minutes for the first of three workouts. Yes, I’m that exact. In the wee hours of twilight my mind begins to race. I can feel my heart rate rising and my body beginning to perspire as I think, “You’re gay.”

Trying to ignore the thought I pick up the book sitting on my nightstand. Sometimes reading calms my mind and help me run away from this terrifying idea. Not this time. My internal dialogue proceeds to get more and more aggressive.

“You’re a fag. You’re a queen. You’re undeserving of love. You’re never going to amount to anything.”

After ruling out sleep – let’s be honest, no one is falling back asleep with that kind of thought process – I walk over to my desk where I begin to work. In addition to my athletic and academic responsibilities on campus, I’m an active member of the athletic department on four different committees that operate on campus. These organizations are dedicated to making the University of North Carolina the best public education institution in the country. They range from meetings with the many athletic directors, to bringing kids with cancer to sporting events, to helping freshman adjust to life in college and organizing community service opportunities for the varsity teams.

For most athletes, one of these responsibilities would have been daunting. Not for me – four wasn’t even enough.

After spending some time working, I look at the clock. 3:30 AM. That half hour felt like three days. Time crawls as I try to repress the conflicting thoughts in my head. The second I stop, my mind becomes active again.

“FAGGOT! QUEER!”

I get up and walk to my master bathroom feeling defeated, worthless. Weak. I undress and get ready to jump in the shower. I look at my physique in the mirror. Nothing seems good enough. My lower abs aren’t as defined as my upper abs, giving my middle section a strange and disproportioned look. My chest isn’t big enough for my wide frame. My back is so swayed that my teammates nicknamed me “spineless,” something that feels pretty accurate as I live in silent shame.

You name it, I hate it about myself.

I jump in the shower. After washing and rinsing my body and hair, I towel dry and walk over to the dresser where I keep my sweats. I want comfort, not style, since I’m going to lie awake for another hour or so. As I open up my drawers, I look at the 12 ACC Medals, 10 All-American Certificates, three All-American Trophies, and ACC Men’s Swimmer of the Year accolades that have accumulated on top of my dresser. Four years of accomplishments glaring back at me, titles my teammates would kill for, hold no value to me.

“You are still a queen. You are still a fairy!”

Shaking my head I pull out my favorite North Carolina sweatshirt and some of my lifeguarding sweatpants. I put the sweats on and curl up in bed.

3:51AM. Seventy-two more minutes to kill.

I reach for the rosary beads hanging from my headboard. When my grandmother passed away, she left each of her grandchildren a string of rosary beads. Every morning I thought this would be the cure; Saying the rosary would make the thoughts go away. The prayers would make me a straight man, the man I wanted to be but couldn’t figure out.

As I lay in bed with my eyes closed, I begin saying the Hail Mary and Our Father. Praying the gay away. Or trying to, anyway. Seventy minutes of praying and nothing changes. I still have the nasty internal dialogue, I still hate every part of myself and I still feel worthless, unaccomplished.

5:03 AM. My alarm blares. I don’t need it. I never fell back asleep.

* * *

Winning my national title in June of 2013 changed my life. All of a sudden I was projected to make the 2016 Olympic Team. I had attention from fans, I had a sponsor, and I found a new responsibility to keep the swimming community updated on the majority of my life.

I hated social media, probably because I was terrified of being outed on the Internet. After becoming a professional swimmer it seemed that social media was going to be a necessary evil. I left USA Swimming Nationals that year with a Twitter account, an Instagram account and an updated Facebook page. Talk about social media overload!

My fear was not just limited to social media, it extended to the mainstream press. The mere sight of a camera or a photographer on the pool deck was enough to cause an interior panic so strong it would ruin my race. I was a small reason that these cameras were on the deck. Sure, photographers wanted pictures of the newest national champion. Swim fans wanted to see how I got ready for a race and how I strategized my races.

Yet I always wondered, “Why would anyone want to take a picture of me? Why would anyone want to film me? I’m nothing but an unaccomplished, closeted queer.”

With this new semi-public image, I was expected to show people the ins and outs of my life: where I was going, whom I was with, and what we were doing. Where previously I flew under the radar, I was suddenly expected to do interviews. How was I supposed to be comfortable in front of a camera when I couldn’t stomach looking at myself in the mirror? The attention that some athletes revel in was causing me turmoil.

Whenever I posted anything on Twitter, Instagram or Facebook, I would read it over 10, 15, 20 times to make sure no one could infer anything about my sexuality. Whenever I was interviewed I would watch the online clips over and over again to make sure I seemed masculine. I seemed fully confident in front of the media, coaches, parents and teammates but completely inadequate, worthless and insecure behind closed doors.

I was the King of the Double Life.

An entire year went on with me living this double life. In June 2014-almost one year to the day after winning my national title-I made a deal with myself. If I didn’t repeat my championship title, the way I was living my life needed to change. For my own personal health, I needed to come out. I needed to accept myself and stop hating myself.

Tom Luchsinger of the USA competes during the Men’s 200m Butterfly prelims of the 15th FINA World Championships on July 30, 2013 in Barcelona. (Photo by Alexander Hassenstein/Getty Images)

My personal ultimatum came at a time where everything seemed to be spiraling out of control. I felt like garbage in the water. I couldn’t hit a pace time if my life depended on it. My anxiety was through the roof. I was constantly sweating, to the point where I couldn’t keep hydrated. The stress hormones in my blood were triple the concentrations from my previous readings. My resting heart rate was double what it usually was-typically resting in the 30s and 40s, it was now in the 70s and 80s.

My body was beginning to demand a release. I couldn’t take it much longer.

I didn’t repeat my title. I wasn’t even close. A deeply disappointing seventh place.

I decided to keep the deal to myself.

* * *

August 2014. I was petrified, but started to reach out.

My very first confidant was a man named Warren. I knew he would understand what it was like to be a closeted swimmer for he had done it himself, graduating from UNC in 2003. We met up for dinner in New York City and I shared my story with him. He encouraged me, showed me that everything was going to be alright and helped me through the process of telling my family and friends.

My older brother, Ryan, was the first person I told in my family. He had been through a lot in his life, often feeling like an outcast. I felt that he would be the safest and most understanding person to tell. He didn’t even bat a proverbial eyelash. Twenty minutes after I told him, we were making jokes about it. Nothing changed.

My best friend Kate could always could read me like a book; She knew something was wrong. Because we have had an extremely close friendship that has lasted over a decade, I trusted her to keep my most shameful secret.

“Oh my gosh! Why didn’t you tell me sooner?! I’m so happy for you!”

Not a flinch. Lots of excitement. Typical Kate.

Telling my parents proved to be the most emotionally difficult. I was laying in a king size bed at the Hyatt Regency Hotel in Chicago after an appearance for my agency, waiting for a flight back to Baltimore. After lying to my parents for so many years, the stress leading up to my big conversation with them caused my normally clear complexion to become riddled with acne — the kind that only the perfect trifecta of finals, lack of sleep and too much caffeine seemed to produce. I had a cold-sore crater on my bottom lip-something that never happened.

I originally wanted to tell my parents face to face, but it was clear that my body wouldn’t allow that to happen.

I called my parents from half a continent away and, like any self-respecting national champion talking with his mom and dad, immediately began to cry.

“I’m gay. And I’m scared.”

They weren’t. They were great.

“Are you the same man we raised for the past 23 years?” They asked.

With a sinking feeling that I had let them down, I told them, “Yes.”

“Then, who cares?”

I lucked out to get them as my parents.

After that I began telling people in casual conversation. I told one of my teammates while we were talking between sets at a workout. I told another friend while talking casually on the phone. It was shocking how easy something that caused me so much pain and anxiety simply began to roll off my tongue. The best part: No one seemed to care!

For as long as I can remember I tried to repress my feelings through athletics. I tried to hide who I was through medals and accomplishments. I tried to pray away my sexuality. I tried to shower it off. Nothing ever worked. After years of stress, hate, and disgust toward myself, I have come to accept who I am. I am a proud gay man living my life the best way I know how, surrounded by people who love and support me!

For years, my sexuality was the quality I was most ashamed of about myself. But now it seems that being gay is one of the characteristics I’m most proud of. I have accomplishments linked to my name that most heterosexual men will never have. I’ve overcome the fear of being rejected from the people I love the most.

My friendships have gotten stronger because of my self acceptance. My smile is a lot more genuine and surfaces much more frequently. I laugh a lot more. My body has time to recover from a workout because I’m actually an easy-going person. I have found qualities-both physical and emotional-that I like about myself – though that’s still a work in progress. My number of good days far out number my bad days.

I’m still the same person I have always been, just a hell of a lot better at it.

You can follow Tom Luchsinger on Twitter @TomLuchsinger.

Edited by Cyd Zeigler.