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Archives for 2015

Gay-Themed Picture Books for Children

18/05/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

Editorial:  I belong to the American Librarian Association and regularly get updates on books being published on a wide range of areas.  However this resource for gay-themed picture books for children (which obviously means that parents or adults will be buying them) is much needed and I have no hesitation in giving details here for our readers, including LGBT families:
 
Picture books for children about the experience of knowing or having a gay parent, family member, or friend, as well as books for gender nonconforming kids.
 

    Click the book pile to get to the lists

 

Filed Under: Anti-Bullying & Homophobia Tagged With: book lists, gay-themed, gay-themed books, picture-books

Queer Quest 10 – Superqueeros?

18/05/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

Iceman
reprinted from GLBT News – By Ashley R. Lierman
First of all, I’d like to begin by apologizing to everyone for the title of this column (Queer Quest 10 – Superqueeros?). Sorry. I have no excuse for myself.
With that said, this blog has reported a number of times over the last two years on developments involving queer characters in superhero comics. And with Avengers: Age of Ultron out last week, I think it’s a good time for a review. Last year, in my first column, I noted the 2013 introduction of the first openly transgender character in mainstream superhero comics: Alysia Yeoh, Barbara Gordon’s roommate at the time in Gail Simone’s run of Batgirl. This past March, this blog reported on a same-sex kiss in issue 39 of the current Catwoman run, written by Genevieve Valentine, that confirmed Selina Kyle as bisexual. And just recently, we reported that Brian Michael Bendis’s All New X-Men #40 outed Robert Drake, or Iceman, as gay. Clearly it’s been a busy few years for LGBT characters in comics, even in the most mainstream (and therefore often most conservative) domain of superhero comics. Surely this should be cause for celebration, right?
Well… yes and no. Of course there’s no question that more representation is a good thing, and it’s always a bit of good news to see part of the world of superhero comics change for the better. The only trouble is, by the very nature of superhero comics, it’s sometimes very difficult – if not impossible – to make those changes stick.
We’ve all heard people call comics “graphic novels” when they’re trying to make it sound like comics are actually worth serious consideration and study. Not only does that reveal a lot about the speaker’s personal prejudices when it comes to media, it’s technically incorrect (a graphic novel is its own thing, quite distinct from a serial comic book; I assume I’m preaching to the choir in this column, but if you’re confused, you can read more about the distinction here) – and, I’d argue, very misleading. Although comics constitute a print medium, comics in general and superhero comics in particular are most closely analogous not to novels, but to television series. Even leaving the visual piece aside, like a TV show, comics often run over a span of years or decades (indeed, depending on the title, often much longer than many TV shows), and tend over the course of their lives to be written by many different people, either as a team or consecutively. In fact, superhero comics tend to get even less consistency in this area than TV shows. While television writing is generally guided by a head writer and at least tends to retain some of the original creative talent from beginning to end, superhero comics writers and teams tend to swap out entirely on a fairly regular basis, and while they do also generally have management from a head writer at the label level, even within individual titles authors can branch off in pretty dramatically different directions.
And that can be a real issue (so to speak), because there are other characteristics of superhero comics that just exacerbate this creative splintering. Between spin-offs, reboots, competing canons, alternate timelines, and more, there’s kind of no such thing as a single, sole “canon” for a superhero comic in their current form. What’s done in one issue of one title can just as easily be undone, or redone in different contradictory ways, in half a dozen others. Indeed, at least within the Big Two of Marvel and DC, this seems to be used as a vital failsafe that can keep equilibrium even through the illusion of major, shocking, hype-worthy change: perhaps the most famous (and formative) case being the 1992 “Death of Superman” storyline. (For a hilarious and also insightful recap of that narrative arc and how it “broke death” in superhero comics, see Max Landis’s Death and Return of Superman, although be warned of plenty of not-safe-for-work language.) A revelation about a character that may seem huge – like, for example, their sexual or gender identity – can end up absent from the overarching story like it never happened, a mere hundred or twenty or two issues later.
With some of these developments I’ve listed, in fact, we can already see this happening. This past December, less than two years from the exciting news of a groundbreaking trans character, Batgirl’s new writing team faced outrage over their offensive, transphobic depiction of a villain in the comic. Almost as troubling, though, it was pointed out, was the fact that in their run, Alysia Yeoh herself seemed to have been reduced to little more than a footnote. In many ways, the title’s total progress in the direction of representation looks like one step forward, two steps back. Similarly, even outside of the accomplishments listed here, back in 2013 excitement about Kate Kane/Batwoman’s proposal to her girlfriend Maggie Sawyer was quickly squashed when DC refused to allow the same-sex wedding to occur on-panel. This decision was partly responsible for the creative team’s eventual departure, and in December 2014 the title – much valued for featuring what was at the time DC’s most prominent gay superhero – was cancelled altogether.
“Oh, come on,” some of you may be starting to think by this point, and not unfairly so, “at least it still happened! Isn’t any representation ever good enough for her?” And I’ll admit, I can be pretty demanding, especially in a media culture where it’s rare enough to see any queer characters at all. I’m not trying to burst into Iceman’s (or anyone else’s) coming out party yelling “JUST WAIT UNTIL THE OTHER SHOE DROPS!” (For one thing, at the very least, the other shoe is unlikely to be on Bendis’s foot, and bless him for that.) Of course it’s a good thing, and an important thing, to see queer characters of all kinds appearing increasingly in these mainstream, popular titles, no matter what may happen later down the road. Future writers may be able to rewrite the current story of what’s going on with a superhero, but they can’t erase the old issues, or turn back the tide of mounting acceptance and even welcome for diversity in the industry these new developments represent. As long as we still have Simones, Valentines, Bendises, and others like them out there in the industry, and more on the way, there’ll still be people pushing to make positive changes, and to support those with marginalized voices who are trying to break their way in and tell stories of their own.
So make no mistake, iffy track record aside, it’s still going to put a smile on my face every time I see a story about another queer character or same-sex kiss in mainstream superhero comics, and I’ll keep sharing them with you on this blog when they come along, for as long as I’m able. They do mean something, even if only as a barometer reading the current weather in popular geek culture. But I hope you’ll understand if, at the same time, my cheerleading may be a little muted when it comes to any one new development or another, at least as far as this particular genre of comics goes. I’m still reserving my enthusiasm for when the Big Two can show by their actions that they really are ready to be agents of change… and to actually make those changes last.

Filed Under: Anti-Bullying & Homophobia Tagged With: comics, queer characters, USA comics

10 examples of gender bias you may encounter in the workplace

18/05/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

Reprinted from Tech Republic – By Jack Wallen in 10 Things, May 7, 2015, 12:00 PM PST // jlwallen

Does your company suffer from gender bias? If your answer is “no,” are you certain? Here are 10 kinds of gender bias that can pop up in the workplace–some subtle, some not so subtle.
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Image: iStockphoto.com/Gajus

Gender equality is a hot issue. And in a profession such as IT, where an overwhelming number of workers are male, it’s easy to overlook gender biases. When these biases occur, the workplace can become tense and lawsuits can follow. But lawsuits aside, one must remember this: Gender bias is a form of prejudice and discrimination and it has no place in business. With that said, when you’re a part of a mostly male-dominated profession, how do you spot those biases so they can be addressed? Although it shouldn’t be too much of a challenge, it’s surprising how often these things go unnoticed.
Let’s take a look at 10 kinds of gender bias you might encounter in the workplace and what you can do to prevent them. These occurrences range from the simple to the complex, and with the complex, you may not find the solution here. But getting the dialog started is often half the battle.

1: Unequal pay

This one is obvious, but it’s a challenge to solve. Why? Because the issue of pay equity between genders goes all the way up the flagpole to United Kingdom government.  In fact, this is often a hot button issue during political debates. The good news is you don’t have to be a part of the issue. If you hire engineers and/or administrators, make sure you base their pay not on gender, but on performance and experience. The moment you allow gender to play a part in pay, you become part of the problem.

2: Interview questions

This is a subtle one. Ask yourself one simple question: Do you interview men and women differently? Do you ask women questions like “Do you have children?” or “Do you plan on having children?” Both of those inquiries have zero business in an interview. Questions about family and family life should be out of bounds–and in some cases, they’re illegal. Whether a woman has or plans to have children does not affect her skills any more than it does a man’s. Once hired, if the issue of childbirth comes up, deal with it in the moment. Do not predicate the hiring or firing of potential employees on the idea that they may require maternity leave.

3: Diminished responsibilities

When you’re unloading boxes of servers from a truck, if a woman wants to help, let her. Don’t offhandedly say, “We got this sweetums.” You might be surprised to discover that some of the women in your department can deadlift more than the men. This is the kind of subtle gender bias that shows employees that inequality is accepted. The same holds true with standard positional responsibilities. If you have two equally qualified administrators, one male and one female, give them equal responsibilities. Period.

4: Restrooms

This one, I have found, is usually far less than subtle. I’ve worked in a couple of IT-related gigs where it is clear that the majority of employees are men. To find this out, all you have to do is step foot in the restroom. I actually worked in a place where the bathrooms were so disgusting, I’d walk down the block to use another company’s facilities. First and foremost, do not let your restroom reach this state. Second, if you do… do not expect the women to clean them! The female admins and engineers are not your maids or your mothers.

5: Conversations

Consider how you converse with your employees. Do you speak differently to the men and the women? If you’re unsure, the next time you are addressing the entire staff, take note–or record yourself. Then, the next time you speak with a female staff member compare how you speak to her versus how you addressed the entire team. What is different (if anything)? If you find that your style differs between conversations with men and with women, make adjustments. This doesn’t necessarily mean you should start speaking to everyone as if you are speaking to a man. But if you find your style of conversation is really suited only for male company, that is what you need to address. While in the workplace, adopt a gender-neutral style of conversation.

6: Glass ceilings

Can your male and female employees climb equally high on the ladder of opportunity? If not, why? What makes a male or female better qualified to climb higher in your company? If there is no justifiable reason for this (and there probably isn’t), remove that glass ceiling. Each employee, regardless of gender, should have the same opportunity. All things being equal, men and women should be able to reach as high as possible, given their skills and performance.

7: Positional bias

What makes a woman better suited to be a secretary or receptionist? Why shouldn’t a man fill that position? Why shouldn’t a woman serve as your first line of security? This type of gender bias is rampant in all types of businesses. Don’t fall into the stereotype nightmare; otherwise, you might miss out on hiring the best-suited applicant for the job. If you get a male and female applying for the same position–be it secretary or security–hire based on who you believe can perform best based on skills and past experience, not gender. Be open to men working in roles traditionally filled by women and women placed in positions typically held by men.

8: Terminations

What are your reasons for terminating an employee? Have you ever fired a female employee for asking to be treated equally? Have you ever NOT fired a male employee who was involved in sexual harassment? The termination of employees needs to be handled without bias. If you fire XX for A, you’d better be sure that XY would be fired for A as well. Rules and policies should apply for both genders–across the board.

9: Outdated views

Let’s face it. Society has changed a great deal over the last decade. If you’re still holding onto views that were popular in the nineties (or earlier), you are way behind. Consider this: I was once associated with a company that required women to wear dresses and pantyhose. The men? There was no dress code–it was assumed they would all wear khakis and button down shirts. The notion that women should adhere to some outdated fashion standard–and similar kinds of obsolete thinking–should be eradicated from the workplace. Women can be professional without dresses and hose just as men can be professional without a tie.

10: Sexual harassment

I would be remiss if I did not mention sexual harassment with regard to gender bias. It amazes me that this type of behavior still occurs in the workplace. There is a reason why companies have had to implement policies regarding sexual harassment. And because IT is such a male-dominant profession, harassment is often either overlooked or not even perceived. This is the danger zone of gender bias. Not only can it cause serious issues with your staff, it can come back to haunt your company legally and in the court of public opinion. There are no circumstances where sexual harassment should be permitted. None.

Have you seen gender bias in your job?

Gender bias can sometimes be hard to spot and in some instances, even harder to purge. But if you look carefully, especially with a nod to what I’ve listed here, you might start seeing these biases popping up. Do everything you can to prevent them and your business will be a much happier and healthier environment.
Have you ever witnessed gender bias at work? Share your experiences with us at NIGRA or contact us if you need advice.

Filed Under: Anti-Bullying & Homophobia Tagged With: gender bias, workplace bias

Newry Rainbow Community Dropin

15/05/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

Newry Rainbow Community drop-in centre’s new location, opening hours and contact details.
 

NRC drop-in Centre opening hours

  Click Here for PDF of opening hours

 

Filed Under: Anti-Bullying & Homophobia Tagged With: community, Newry, Opening HOurs, Rainbow

Jack Andraka, at 13, provides cancer cure!

15/05/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

 

GT Books


 Teenager creates a new cancer detection method

Come along to Jack Andraka’s book launch

When Jack Andraka was 13 he was being bullied for being gay, a close family friend was dying of cancer and he felt like a constant outsider.

But instead of giving up Jack used his passion for science to try and make a difference, with a brand new cancer detection system.
After conducting two years of research and being denied help from hundreds of Universities and companies, Jack’s experiment worked!
Jack’s test for pancreatic, lung and ovarian cancers now has the potential to be over four hundred times as effective as current medical solutions. And to top it off, it only costs a fraction of the price.
Breakthrough is a book that celebrates the perseverance and ingenuity of this remarkable teenager. It aims to push readers to pursue their dreams and to never stop learning.
Not only an inspirational teenage success story, Jack’s journey helped him conquer his depression and overcome bullying.
Gay’s The Word will be hosting a free book event for Breakthrough, which will take place in London on 24 May.
For more information on the event head to Facebook
Words Christopher McParlan, @chrismcparlan

Filed Under: Anti-Bullying & Homophobia, Book Reviews Tagged With: cancer, cancer cure, Jack Andraka, science

We All Want The Same Thing

15/05/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

Republished from Gay Times

Rixton release their new music video

The band give us a flashback to the 70s

Rixton have just released the video to accompany their new single We All Want The Same Thing.

The track is the third single from the band’s widely anticipated debut album Let The Road, following the success of last summer’s number 1 single, Me & My Broken Heart.
The video takes inspiration from US musical variety show Soul Train, channelling a 70s vibe through some eyebrow-raising floral prints, flared trousers and oversized sunglasses. So you know it’s going to very groovy.
A grainy video is combined with a number of clips taken from the original TV show, giving us something colourful and incredibly fun to watch.
Check out the video below…

We All Want The Same Thing is released on 7 June and Rixton’s album will be available from 8 June.

Filed Under: Music Reviews Tagged With: music, new single, Rixton

Stockport Academy Tackles Homophobia

15/05/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

Editorial: When will homophobia be stopped in our schools in Northern Ireland.  When will Stormont and our politicians come together to fight homophobia.  We have just had an election, it will be interesting to see if they stand by the Friday Agreement on Human Rights.

The following article was republished from Gay Times

Students produce moving video in light of Anti-Homophobia Week

Students at the Stockport Academy have made a moving drama piece to coincide with Anti-Homophobia Week.
The short video is called Everybody’s Disapproval and is set to Hozier’s song Take Me To Church.
The emotive piece is shot in black and white, recreating and reinterpreting scenes from Hozier’s original video. It features both a young gay and lesbian couple being the victims of homophobic abuse.
Their short video concludes with a few statements and statistics to reinforce the overall message. “End homophobia today.”

The Academy is renowned for their zero tolerance to bullying and has previously received the Diana Award in 2014 for their campaign work in anti-bullying.
Words Tom Richardson, @tom20richardson

Filed Under: Anti-Bullying & Homophobia Tagged With: homophobia, Human Rights, politics, Stockport academy, Stormont

17 Years After Matthew Shepard’s Murder, Laramie Passes LGBT Protections

15/05/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

The city became the first in Wyoming to adopt an LGBT-inclusive nondiscrimination law.

Reprinted from the Advoate – BY TRUDY RING

MAY 14 2015 4:45 PM ET

In 1998 gay college student Matthew Shepard as brutally beaten and left for dead on a fence like this one near Laramie.In 1998 gay college student Matthew Shepard as brutally beaten and left for dead on a fence like this one near Laramie.

The town where Matthew Shepard became the victim of a deadly antigay hate crime in 1998 — Laramie, Wyo., — has become the first municipality in the state to adopt an LGBT-inclusive antidiscrimination law.
The Laramie City Council passed the ordinance last night by a vote of 7-2, the Associated Press reports. It bans discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity in employment, housing, and public accommodations, and it sets up a process for filing discrimination complaints, which the city will then investigate. The ordinance will go into effect by the end of this month.
“What a day for Wyoming, and what a day for the city that became synonymous with Matthew Shepard’s murder to now step up and do this right thing,” Jeran Artery, head of the LGBT rights group Wyoming Equality, told the AP. “And I would really encourage other communities across the state to follow Laramie’s lead.”
Efforts to enact a similar law on a statewide basis have failed repeatedly, most recently inFebruary. “I’m thrilled that Laramie’s [adopting an antidiscrimination law], at the same time sort of saddened that the state of Wyoming can’t see fit to do that as well,” Judy Shepard, Matthew’s mother, told the AP. “Maybe the rest of Wyoming will understand this is about fellow human beings and not something that’s other than what they are.”
Matthew Shepard, a 21-year-old student at the University of Wyoming in Laramie, was beaten and left for dead on a fence on the outskirts of town by two men he met in a bar. He died a few days later at a hospital in Colorado. His death became a rallying point for LGBT rights activists, and federal hate-crimes law bears his name as well as that of James Byrd Jr., an African-American murdered in a racially motivated attack in Texas, also in 1998.
Judy Shepard, a longtime Wyoming resident, said her son’s murder doesn’t indicate that Wyoming residents are generally homophobic, but acting more quickly on hate-crimes law could have improved the state’s reputation. “I feel like if Wyoming had done more to open the door to acceptance, that kind of reputation would have disappeared very quickly,” she told the AP. “Instead of taking advantage of the moment, they just sort of turned around and ran.”
State Rep. Kendall Kroeker, who voted against the statewide antidiscrimination bill, objected to the crime being brought into the discussion. “The Matt Shepard case was a tragedy, but I don’t see how an antidiscrimination ordinance would have stopped somebody from committing that heinous crime,” he told the news service. Kroeker was also one of several Wyoming legislators who signed onto a brief urging the U.S. Supreme Court to reject marriage equality, claiming it would interfere with citizens’ free speech rights.
The two Laramie council members who voted against the local antidiscrimination ordinance said they worried it would interfere with religious freedom, the AP reports. “Enactment of this ordinance will result in discrimination complaints filed against business owners who are simply trying to run their business consistent with their faith,” said one of them, Joe Vitale.

Filed Under: Anti-Bullying & Homophobia Tagged With: HATE CRIMES, Matthew Shepard, politics, Wyoming

The Fred Phelps legacy: How America exports anti-LGBT poison around the world

15/05/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

IB TimesBy Chad Griffin | IB Times – 13 hours agoWe may never see the likes of Fred Phelps and his family in the post-gay world.
  • View PhotoIB Times – We may never see the likes of Fred Phelps and his family in the post-gay world.
 

America owes the international community an apology: we are exporting our anti-LGBT activists, and they are damaging fairness, equality and human rights around the globe.

And, with support for equality on the rise from statehouses to classrooms to church pews to dinner tables – and with the US Supreme Court set to rule on marriage equality this summer – they have turned their attention elsewhere. They understand they’re losing in their own country. Americans are rejecting their vision of two Americas – one where some are equal and others are treated as second class citizens simply because of who they are.
These anti-LGBT extremists have begun exporting their hate to countries around the world, jeopardising the livelihood – and sometimes the lives – of LGBT people in places where they have no protections. Indeed, they’re opening up new battlefields overseas – working to encourage and support anti-LGBT laws in countries like Russia, Poland, Uganda and Jamaica – laws they only wish they could pass here at home.

Some of these American exporters of hate may protest this characterisation, but their true intentions are there for all the world to see. Take the World Congress of Families, for example. Since 1997, this organisation has held conferences and events around the world that foster homophobia and transphobia under the guise of protecting the “natural family.” The organisation has supported laws that marginalise LGBT people in Russia and recently honoured an individual in Nigeria who claimed LGBT advocates were conspiring with the terrorist group Boko Haram.

Every few years, the World Congress of Families hosts an international gathering of those working against the rights of the LGBT community and women. The group’s September 2014 international conference at the Kremlin was canceled due to instability in Ukraine. But later this year, many of the group’s supporters will meet in Salt Lake City, Utah. It will be the first time the World Congress of Families has ever held such a conference in the United States, despite the fact that its board of directors and staff are all Americans.
There are a disturbing cast of characters who work for, partner with, and participate in the World Congress of Families. Days after Hillary Clinton announced her candidacy for president of the United States, Don Feder, communications director for the organization, referred to Mrs. Clinton – who as secretary of state declared gays rights to be human rights – as “Hitlery,” writing that she’s too “hideous” to be president.
Partners of the organisation like Sharon Slater of Family Watch International have taken an anti-LGBT agenda to the United Nations, and advocated for marginalising LGBT people in places like Nigeria, where efforts to pass severe anti-LGBT legislation succeeded in 2014. And then there’s Scott Lively, a regular speaker at the group’s summits. Lively has promoted dangerous lies around the globe. Among other things, he’s blamed some of history’s most horrific atrocities, including the Holocaust and the Rwandan Genocide, on LGBT people.
Such rhetoric isn’t just blatantly false, it’s dangerous. In countries where homophobia and transphobia are rampant, and LGBT communities have not had the resources to combat such discrimination, the words of Don Feder, Brian Brown, or Scott Lively embolden individuals, including foreign leaders, to embrace laws that endanger LGBT people and their families. In fact, their work infects regions, not just countries where they appear. Russia’s law that prohibits public support of equality (and inspires violence), which was strongly supported by the World Congress of Families, is now bleeding into central Asia, where stronger versions of the law are moving forward in Kazakhstan and Kyrgyzstan.
That’s why we will not let these exporters of hate go unchallenged. In the words of Supreme Court Justice Louis Brandeis, sunlight is the best disinfectant, and over the last year, the Human Rights Campaign – America’s largest LGBT civil rights organization – has focused light on the anti-LGBT efforts of the World Congress of Families and other American exporters of hate. With only six months until thousands descend on Salt Lake City for the World Congress of Families’ first international conference in the US, we are releasing an updated version of Exposed: The World Congress of Families.
Some, such as Lively, are crying foul about our efforts to expose their work and have accused us of endangering them. We condemn all forms of political violence – no one, as a matter of basic human rights, should live in fear of danger. And no one should be able to hide from their own words, and the damage they do. That’s exactly why we are calling out Scott Lively’s travels from the Kremlin to Kampala – journeys taken with the express purpose of advancing laws that promote anti-LGBT sentiments. There was a time when they were proud of their anti-LGBT rhetoric and activities. If they’re ashamed of it now, they should publicly apologise. If they’re not, as public officials they should welcome the scrutiny of a fair-minded public.
Tide beginning to turn
In the United States and Western Europe, LGBT people are beginning to enjoy the civil and human rights they are rightly entitled to. Marriage equality has been law in most of the United Kingdom for more than a year and has recently been passed in Finland, Slovenia and Luxembourg. This month, voters in Ireland will go to the polls to vote for whether same-sex couples have a right to marry, a measure that is expected to pass.

‘Mister Majah P is a pioneering performer who is bravely breaking the homophobic mould of much Jamaican reggae and dancehall music. Long may he continue to assert that “One Love” includes LGBT people.’

Read Peter Tatchell’s article on the man breaking the mould of bigotry in the Caribbean here.

But as equality has spread in some parts of the world, a backwards slide has occurred in other parts. Not only are some countries further criminalising LGBT relationships and identities, but also finding clever new ways to prevent advocacy, association, and expression. Unfortunately, American fingerprints are on almost all of these efforts.
Luckily, pro-equality Americans are beginning to respond by speaking out in support of human rights and inclusion. President Obama has made LGBT rights abroad a key part of his foreign policy, with Secretary of State John Kerry recently appointing the first American diplomat devoted to advocating for protecting the human rights of LGBT people around the globe – an appointment HRC has long called for. In addition, the US has six openly gay ambassadors serving worldwide.
While the equality movement is not as organised and well-funded as our opposition at the global level, that is changing. Just as the efforts of advocates for exclusion are failing in America, their efforts will ultimately fail globally. The story of progress and prosperity is one of inclusion and love.
Hate is neither an American value nor a family value, and no American should be in the business of exporting it around the globe. And we won’t cease to expose, debunk and shine a light on those who are trying to make the case otherwise, until this despicable behavior comes to an end once and for all.

Chad Griffin is President of Human Rights Campaign, one of the world’s largest LGBT activist groups. Find him on Twitter @ChadHGriffin or the group @HRC. You can also visit the HRC websitehere.

Filed Under: Anti-Bullying & Homophobia Tagged With: Fred Phelps, hate, homophobia, murdr

Colm Tóibín: The same-sex marriage referendum and the embrace of love

15/05/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

The campaign has allowed us to set out how we wish to be treated

Colm Toibin: ‘We seek to embrace marriage and strengthen the idea of the family and our involvement in it. We seek to enhance the institution of marriage. We want to make the same vows as others do, for the same reasons.’ Photograph: Bryan O’Brien
Colm Toibin: ‘We seek to embrace marriage and strengthen the idea of the family and our involvement in it. We seek to enhance the institution of marriage. We want to make the same vows as others do, for the same reasons.’ Photograph: Bryan O’Brien

Reprinted from the Irish Times

Colm Toibin

First published:Thu, May 14, 2015, 16:14

In 1996, after I had published my novel The Story of the Night, which is in part an account of the love between two men, I received a private letter from one of the most powerful men in Ireland, someone who had served in government, and was then and later a figure of immense influence in public life. I had never met this man, and I was surprised by the tone of the letter that was personal but also engaged, almost urgent. He simply said that it had never occurred to him that two men could fall in love in the way straight people do, that a man could wait for phone calls and messages from the loved one who was also a man, or that the two men could begin to long for and enjoy each other’s company and thus become happy in the warm glow of love. He had thought being gay was merely about sex, that it was a merely sexual orientation, that its embrace did not include what the novelist Kate O’Brien called “the embrace of love”.

A few weeks later I met a prominent Irish feminist, someone had been at the forefront of the women’s movement, and she too expressed surprise at the intensity of the relationship between the two men in the book. “They sound like straight people,” she said. I told her that that was because they were like straight people, that they wanted intimacy and love, they wanted each other, they wanted ease in their domestic and family lives. They also wanted their relationship to be publicly recognised. They wanted to move out of the shadows and into the light.

I was concerned that these two educated, decent and liberal people could know so little about homosexuality. What I viewed as normal, they viewed as strange. What I viewed as an essential part of my life, they viewed as something they knew nothing about. It struck me that they must, along the way, have worked with gay people; they probably had neighbours who were gay, they may have even had family who were gay, but in Ireland until recently gay people had a way of living in the shadows, not declaring ourselves. We had a sort of secret city – bars and discoes, bath houses, websites, places of assignation – and some of us had become skilled at moving between these places as though we were invisible. Invisibility became part of a survival mechanism.

The downside of that was that people simply did not know about us, and more importantly, did not know that our way of loving has precisely the same contours and textures as anyone else’s, the same fears and intensities, the same needs and comforts. One of those needs includes the need for the same rituals and the same constitutional protection as other people have and enjoy.

Other communities who have been oppressed – Jewish people, say, or Catholics in Northern Ireland – have every opportunity to work out the implications of their oppression in their early lives. They hear the stories; they have the books around them. As gay people, on the other hand, we grow up alone; there is no history. There are no ballads about the wrongs of the gay past, the gay martyrs are mostly forgotten. It is as though, in Adrienne Rich’s phrase, if you were gay, “you looked into the mirror and saw nothing”. Thus the discovery of a history and a tradition and a sense of heritage must be done by each individual, as though alone, as part of the road to freedom, or at least knowledge.

This is maybe why this same-sex marriage referendum campaign, the one we are going through now, has been so liberating for gay people and for our friends and families. It has allowed us to set out publicly and communally who we are and how we wish to be treated in our country in the future. It has allowed us to have a public debate with our entire nation about our need for recognition and equality. It has allowed us to speak openly about the terms of our love. The level of support has been heartening, encouraging, inspiring. After 2015, it is unlikely that there will be many people in Ireland who will not know about us, have a sense of how ordinary our desires are. Or see how normal and middle-of-the-road most of us are.

As of now, we have, it seems, no wish to question marriage as an institution, or undermine the centrality of the family under the Irish Constitution; instead we seek to embrace marriage and strengthen the idea of the family and our involvement in it. We seek to enhance the institution of marriage. We want to make the same vows as others do, for the same reasons. We want to live in the ease and with the protection which marriage offers. It is not hard to see how much happiness and relief this will bring to us and to our families; it is, however, hard also to see how this will adversely affect other people who already enjoy the benefits of marriage, the majority of whom will, we hope, be generous enough to want to allow us to share what they already have. What we want is strangely simple: we want to be included. Winning the right to marry on May 22nd will lift a great weight from us and those who wish us well; it will be a liberation for us, and a milestone in the history of increasing tolerance in Ireland.

In 1941 the Irish novelist Kate O’Brien published The Land of Spices, which is one of her best novels, and one of the greatest novel ever written about the religious life. Towards the end of the third chapter, the young Helen Archer, who will later become a Reverend Mother, comes home unexpectedly from school in Brussels and saw her father and another man “in the embrace of love”.

This single image, the only reference to homosexuality in the book, is all the more explosive and dynamic because of that. For those four words “the embrace of love”, the book was banned by the Irish Censorship Board.

They are the very words now that, in this campaign, animate us and nourish us. Because we are not talking about abstract rights, abstract discrimination. We are not even talking about sexuality. Rather, we are talking about love, about the embrace of love, about how our love equals the love of our fellow citizens who are heterosexual, and how right and necessary it seems to us, indeed how much of an imperative, that our love should be ritualised and copper-fastened and celebrated in marriage in the same way as everybody else’s love. If there is someone who believes that our love is of a lesser order than theirs, how can they know this? Who have they asked?

Kate O’Brien, who was a great stylist, was also a writer with a keen, brittle mind and a sharp eye. A tremendous maker of phrases, she mixed irony and sympathy in equal measure. As we come up to voting day, it seems fitting to invoke her great old spirit. Helen’s father and the man in The Land of Spices were not merely embracing, but they were “in the embrace of love”. That is what the girl saw, and it was perhaps that idea which so disturbed the Censorship Board, the idea that there was someone not willing to caricature sexual relations between men, but rather offer them dignity and suggestiveness, and then bring in the word, the word that should dominate out thinking and our argument over the next week. The word is love, our love. That is what matters to us most now as equality comes close.

This article is an abridged version of a public talk given by Colm Tóibín in Trinity College Dublin focusing on same-sex relationships and literature entitled ‘The Embrace of Love: Being Gay in Ireland Now’ on Thursday, May 14th, 2015.

Filed Under: Anti-Bullying & Homophobia Tagged With: colm toibin, Irish politics, marriage equality

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