Moan of the Month

Whose music is it
Why is the music inflicted on punters in gay bars always such sh**e? Practically every bar in the ‘Anglosphere’ (and even other parts of the world that should know better) plays the same corny stuff. This runs the gamut from the White Hart in Tottenham (in every other regard a model, friendly, socially-aware (but-not-up-its-own-arse-about-it) working class ‘local’) to the Stonewall Inn (on a visit last summer) to the chic (but ever so slightly naff) dives of Compton Street. The sounds consist of thirty year old stuff by Donna Summer (or is it Somer?) right up to mere fifteen year old warblings by Madonna – there are some other favoured ‘divas’, about six, all told.

This stuff gets played practically on a loop in every bar catering for Gay men (and even ‘family-friendly’ establishments like the White Hart) – lesbian majority places might have better taste, might… Sometimes it’s loud, sometimes it is Iow in the background. Always, it is a pain in the arse and the ear. It’s not quite up there with ‘white noise’ torture, but it’s pretty bloody close for aurally (look it up, Bruce) sensitive souls. It makes conversation almost impossible, and nobody actually appears to enjoy the sensation of having this noise forced on them as if it was some sort of legal requirement.
If gay, and other bars, choose to ‘entertain’ their customers with gratuitous recorded music, they ought to do a bit of – to use a slightly pompous phrase – ‘market research’. The most successful commercial radio station in the past ten years in the UK has been Classic FM. Mainstream, middle minded, melodious, mild, and madly successful – it attracts millions while the radio stations that feature Madonna and Co. are going down the tubes.
This is not to suggest that we be regaled with bleeding chunks of ‘classical’ music. A bit of hush while we actually engage each other in conversation would not come amiss