coming out Archives - Page 2 of 4

EXCLUSIVE: X-Men’s Iceman Confronts Himself: ‘You Are Gay’

04/11/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

NOVEMBER 03 2015 3:08 PM EST

xmen

Young gay Iceman confronts his older self about hiding in the closet in this exclusive preview ofUncanny X-Men #600.

A significant chapter in the history of Marvel’s X-Men comes to a close with the release ofUncanny X-Men #600 Wednesday. The issue marks the end of writer Brian Michael Bedis’s epic saga which features young versions of the original five X-Men (Iceman, Cyclops, Beast, Angel, and Jean Grey) displaced in time and fighting the never-ending battle in present day. In an interesting twist on the history of Marvel’s mutants, young Iceman (a.k.a. Bobby Drake) came out as gay in April’s All-New X-Men #40, raising questions about his older self who presents as heterosexual in the “current” timeline.
In the three-page exclusive preview of Uncanny X-Men #600 below, young Drake confronts his older self about his sexuality, and the truth behind which way the original Iceman swings is finally revealed.

A new era for the X-Men kicks off here and takes flight in the pages of Extraordinary X-Men #1, also available Wednesday.

Thomas Hitzlsperger discusses reports of two gay Premier League players considering coming out

04/11/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

Simon Rice

Amid reports that two Premier League footballers are considering revealing they are homosexual, Thomas Hitzlsperger, arguably the most high profile former player to have come out as gay, has spoken about the difficulties they may face.
Reports have been circulating that two high-profile players playing in England’s top-flight of football are close to revealing their sexual orientation.
How any such announcement will be received is uncertain, with only a handful of footballers revealing their sexuality and in nearly all cases after their retirement from the game. There is currently just one openly gay professional or semi-professional footballer in Great Britain, non-league player Liam Davis.
Former Aston Villa player Hitzlsperger came out last year andspeaking exclusively to 888sport.com admitted there could be unknown repercussions for any players who follow his decision.
“You have to think of the players first. If they can handle it and if it will improve their lives that’s great,” said Hitzlsperger, who played 52 games for Germany.
“You just hope there is no change in how they look at the game and no disruption to the career they wanted.
“You also have to think of who you can support and help by coming out. A lot of people thanked me for doing so and said I inspired them to come out. That’s a big deal.”

Hitzlsperger, who in his interview with 888sport.com spoke about the appointment of Remi Garde at Aston Villa, revealed being openly gay comes with difficulties but he is happy with his decision to be open.
“It’s not just in football, but in society; you are part of a minority, so I don’t think it will ever be a non-issue. But I’m very comfortable in my own skin and I’m comfortable going to games and meeting fans who know I’ve come out. I’m really delighted in how it is going. My life has changed, of course, but for the better.”

Read the full and frank interview with Hitzlsperger here.

English footballers and fans will end the stigma around gay players themselves

28/10/2015 By ACOMSDave 2 Comments

Tuesday 27 October 2015 17.03 GMT
Dan Tickner

The news that two Premier League players may come out is no longer shocking. But the response they receive will be the true test of football’s tolerance

The LA Galaxy player Robbie Rogers came out in 2013 after leaving Leeds United. Photograph: Danny Moloshok/Reuters

[dropcap]L[/dropcap]ast weekend, news broke that two Premier League players may be ready to come out. The story has once again teased us with the prospect that English football could finally be ready to join the 21st century. Yet it’s the way in which the news was covered – a shift from tabloid exposé to Twitter debate – that offers real signs of encouragement.

The Mirror’s headline was designed to shock, yet fell flat; pricked hours later by a breezy tweet from Manchester United’s Luke Shaw denying his involvement. With its peace sign and smily face it was hardly the work of the Westboro Baptist Church, yet some were quick to condemn his simple denial as evidence of entrenched homophobia in players.
Quite the opposite. More likely it’s the long-term lack of faith in both players and fans – surely the two most important groups involved – by governing bodies, pressure groups and the media that has added to the swirling culture of fear within the game. Compare Shaw’s tweet to the FA’s bizarre anti-homophobia filmjust five years ago – they’re worlds apart – mainly because this generation of players simply don’t have the same fear factor when it comes to sexuality. All the campaign films and rainbow laces in the world are no substitute for the carefree potency of youth with 140 characters to spare.
Neither are they a match for the power of player solidarity and self-policing by fans. In years gone by this may have meant a cheeky message under a club shirt in regard to the former, and a stern talking-to on the terraces in the case of the latter. The arrival of Twitter however, amplifies a positive perspective more than ever. Put it this way – if a player came out tomorrow, could you seriously see anything but a flood of supportive tweets from fellow footballers and fans?

Take a look at the comments section under any recent story about footballers coming out. Aside from the odd flash of bigotry one theme keeps returning – boredom. It’s the story that won’t go away, yet the reaction of football fans is not one of hostility, but weariness. Replies such as “Who cares?” and “It’s 2015” suggest a growing anger not directed at the players in question but the debate itself.
Social networking has – as traditional gay bars and nightclubs continue to close – provided a more subtle and nuanced platform for sexuality full stop. Rugby player Sam Stanley quietly featured his boyfriend in a series of Instagram photos before coming out, thus diffusing any drama from the situation. There’s no reason for today’s footballers to suffer the same clunky red-top outings endured by early 2000s boy-band members (often given little choice or notice) when a tweeted pic of a loved one can filter out slowly across social media making the same point. A shift from lurid to lovely.
That’s not to say conditions are perfect. While social media may offer a newfound subtlety and control to the coming-out process, it brings with it a global audience. Perhaps this, more than any other reason, may explain why English football has teetered on the brink for the past 10 years. The old enemy – the English press – was at least a familiar one. The worldwide web offers less cosy adversaries.
Yet if English players do choose to step out on to that global stage they won’t be alone. They’ll be joined by the US’s Robbie Rogers, Sweden’s Anton Hysén and Germany’s Thomas Hitzlsperger (an average age of 28 between them) as well as countless other lower-league players to have come out in the last five years and prospered.
It might be naive to suggest that as with the closeted teenager (and there are definite parallels here for football) the only thing to fear is fear itself, yet those who suggest this new generation of players and fans can’t deal with their colleagues and heroes’ sexuality could perhaps use a reminder.
Link: http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/oct/27/english-football-openly-gay-players

Olympic Silver Medalist Gus Kenworthy Comes Out As Gay

23/10/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

Ryan Grenoble
News Editor, The Huffington Post

Hiding everything away is so painful. I’m just at that point where I’m ready to open up and let everyone see me for me and I hope everyone accepts it.”

In this Wednesday, Oct. 21, 2015, photo, Gus Kenworthy, a freestyle skier who won a silver medal in Sochi, poses in his home in Denver. The timing, to say nothing of the country, wasn’t quite right to tell the world he was gay. And so Kenworthy left Russia last February better known as the compassionate daredevil who adopted several stray dogs he came across in the mountains _ and as the man who was part of an historic U.S. sweep of the first Olympic ski slopestyle contest. (AP Photo/David Zalubowski)

The tweet accompanied a photo of the athlete on the cover of the latest ESPN Magazine, which is publishing a profile on Kenworthy and the struggle he’s faced in coming out.
That struggle has been especially difficult as a freeskier, Kenworthy told ESPN, a sport he acknowledges glorifies the “alpha male thing” at times. Kenworthy said that in his darkest moments, he even considered taking his own life.
“Hiding everything away is so painful,” he said in a video on ESPN. “You’re constantly lying and constantly feeling like you’re being deceitful. I’m just at that point where I’m ready to open up and let everyone see me for me and I hope everyone accepts it.”
Kenworthy earned a silver medal at the Winter Olympics in Sochi, and then stayed in Russia for an extra month to rescue stray dogs and bring them home to Denver.

Plenty of athletes voiced their support for Kenworthy following his announcement, including the U.S. Freeskiing team, which tweeted that it was “A huge day in action sports, the@Olympics and in @guskenworthy’s life. We stand with him and support him.”

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/gus-kenworthy-gay_5629013fe4b0aac0b8fbdc00?ir=Gay%2BVoices&section=gay-voices&ncid=newsltushpmg00000003

How a Gay Dad Comes out Today – and Every Day

21/10/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

Ian Colvin Become a fanBlogger, GaysWithKids.com

ONOKY – Eric Audras via Getty Images

“Titanium metal!” my son exclaimed. “Like a fast robot police sports car!”
“Pink!” my daughter excitedly squealed.
“And what do you think?” I asked my husband, as we were shopping for our new car. “You need to like the color, too.”
A salesperson in the showroom, overhearing our conversation, inquired, “Why does your brother need to like the color of the car you’re buying?”
Since coming out over 20 years ago, I’ve realized that coming out is not a one and done thing.
But now, as a gay dad, with a husband and two kids, coming out happens pretty much on a weekly, if not, daily, basis.
This September, my son started playing hockey, and I’m the assistant coach.
During our coaches meeting, many of the coaches in the room mentioned that we hadn’t received an email, inviting use to fill out one of the forms we were reviewing.
The reply?
“Your wives probably filled it out, without you knowing!”
I don’t intentionally come out every day. Or even purposely call myself a gay dad. No big announcements, no celebratory parties, no viral YouTube videos… well, okay…maybe one… or two…
Yet, the reality is, I am a proud gay dad, whose family looks a bit different than the majority of families where we live.
Earlier this year, my husband I and were out walking with our kids, and new neighbors came up to introduce themselves.
After a bit of small talk, they then asked, “So… what’s going on here… Full House? — guys raising kids together?”
“Well, kind of, but in this case, we’re husbands,” we replied.
Them: “Husbands?”
Me: “Husbands.”
Them: “Husbands?”
Me: “Yes… husbands.”
Them: “Oh… you’re a same-sex couple! Honey — we have a same-sex couple on our new street!”
I know not every coming out moment is funny and not every coming out moment garners a positive reaction.
I also know that barriers still exist for so many LGBTQ individuals, and that some people still feel that they have to hide this part of their identity.
Personally, I’m inspired by those who have “come out” before me — who were visible on the first National Coming Out Day, 27 years ago, when it wasn’t easy to be heard.
Twenty years ago, the hardest words to ever come out of my mouth were, “I’m gay” — and unfortunately, the reactions weren’t as positive or as humorous as the reactions I get now.
For so many youth the reactions still aren’t favorable.
In fact, it’s estimated that 25-40 percent of homeless youth identify as LGBTQ.
It’s one of the reasons why I want to live my life so transparent and so visible.
I know that I don’t have to come out in those every day moments but I do feel a responsibility to be visible and to be out.
I want to be a role model for those who aspire to be out, but don’t think they can.
I want to change perception of what families look like, and inspire those who think that by coming out, they have to give up their dream of being a parent.
I want to help LGBTQ youth so that they feel they can live their authentic lives.
One of the best notes I have ever received about one of my blog posts, was from a mother, whose son was having a hard time coming out. He was afraid of being rejected and he thought that by coming out, he would have to give up his dream of being a dad. After reading my post, her son had the courage to come out and to live his authentic life. This woman’s letter was so heartfelt, and showed me how important it is to be visible — because you never know who is going to be helped by your story.
I recognize how fortunate I am. I can be a dad to two incredible kids, a husband, a professional in business world, an assistant hockey coach, a blogger — and an out, gay man.
No one bats an eye or treats me differently when they find out that, no, I actually don’t have a wife. That tall, handsome, man I live with, he’s my husband and papa to our kids — and I love him dearly.
Oh… and the choice of color we selected for the car?
While there was a part of me who really wanted to choose pink… driving a fast robot police sports car is cool, too. Plus, it looks pretty awesome parked in our driveway beside the even cooler mini-van.

Tom Bosworth: British Olympics hopeful comes out as gay

14/10/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

Race walker Tom Bosworth competed for Great Britain at the World Athletics Championships, is set to feature at the Rio Olympics and is the first athlete on the team to come out as gay.

Here the 25-year-old talks about how his head was smashed through a window because of his sexuality and why he revealed the news, on the Victoria Derbyshire show.
Coming out is no surprise to my friends, family and even team-mates, even Mo Farah who didn’t bat an eyelid when I told him I was gay.
I got to know him and others on the Great Britain endurance team prior to the World Athletics Championships in August after we spent a few weeks on a pre-training camp in Japan.
It was a great chance to talk about it in a relaxed environment and everyone was very supportive of me being the first openly gay athlete on the GB team.
But there were some interesting questions when I told them about my circumstances.

GB athlete Bosworth comes out as gay

My team-mates asked whether I had a partner and how old I was when I came out. They were intrigued by my sexuality and asked me whether I got any stick for being openly homosexual.
The truth is that I used to. When I was competing in local athletics a number of years ago, some other athletes called me ‘fag’ or ‘queer’.
And when I was at school, when those feelings were still developing, I had my head smashed through a window by a group of boys. Thankfully, that’s all in the past now.
Whilst my current team-mates were interested to talk about my sexuality, they soon realised there was nothing to be concerned about and all was perfectly normal. It was great that everyone could be themselves as the pressure built in camp before a major championships.
It shows you that if someone of Mo’s stature can be supportive then there should be no issues from others.

Who is Tom Bosworth?
Born: Sevenoaks, Kent, 1990
Trains at the National Race Walking Centre in Leeds
Britain’s number one race walker over 20km, and third-fastest in history
Was 12th at 2014 European Championships; 24th at 2015 World Championships
Has a degree in sports performance and is a qualified trampoline coach and sports masseur

Tom Bosworth has been in a gay relationship for four and a half years

‘My head was smashed through a window at school’

I wish that all athletes from my past had been as positive as Mo.
About four or five years ago, some former athletes in local athletics would verbally abuse me. It was pretty nasty, and made worse by the fact they found it funny. Thankfully, they were in the minority.
In the end, I just ignored them. I realised they had no positive part to play in my life and fortunately I had enough people around me who I could rely on for support.
Sometimes, you have to be a bit thick-skinned about it all and I learned that lesson, sometimes literally, in school.
When I was 15 or 16, I thought I was gay and somehow word got around in school, leading to a really difficult period in my life. Teenagers can be really nasty and half the time they don’t even realise what they’re saying. It’s just ignorance, I guess.
A group of lads used to gang up on me and the worst episode came when they smashed my head through a window after a run-in. I decided not to tell anyone about it, so my parents or teachers didn’t know. I guess I was more worried about people blaming me than the students but I had the support of my friends to get me through that tough time.
It was a decade ago, so I’d like to think that things have moved on a lot since then, even in schools, and that kids are more tolerant these days.
That experience taught me to ignore lone voices. I know there will always be people who have a problem with my sexuality, but one person’s opinion doesn’t affect me now, as I have support from my parents and partner.
I’m not even sure I can change the opinions of those boys. All I want to do is give a positive message that you can succeed in sport whatever your background. Be it gay, straight, black, white, religious or non-religious – there are no barriers.

High-profile gay sports men and women
Former Aston Villa footballer Thomas Hitzlsperger
British Commonwealth champion diver Tom Daley
England women’s footballer Casey Stoney
Former Wales rugby union player Gareth Thomas
Former Olympic champion swimmer Ian Thorpe

‘Some might see being gay as a weakness’

Coming out is not going to change my life on a personal level.
I’ve been comfortable with my sexuality and in a really happy relationship for the past four and a half years but in the build-up to the Rio Olympics next year, I don’t want this news to become a distraction or affect those closest to me.
That’s why I want to speak publicly about being gay now.
It’s a big decision for me and a little scary what the reaction might be, but I do think that attitudes are changing. Tom Daley’s decision to come out in December 2013 was a huge step in the right direction, paving the way for others to follow suit.
Unfortunately, speaking out about this as a sportsperson is still news.
In any line of work, whether you are a teacher or working in an office, it’s normal to have a gay colleague but in sport, we are lagging behind.
That’s a real shame and I’m not sure why that is because this summer has opened my eyes as to how supportive everyone in athletics really is.
A lot of sport is about giving the appearance that you are strong, that you have no weaknesses that rivals can prey on.
So perhaps there are people who feel that homosexuality is seen as a weakness, maybe even by those who are gay, as it may give others a chance to attack them. By hiding it, they might feel like they are protecting themselves.
But I guess it could also hinder their sporting performance. By keeping your true self a secret, it could play on your mind and for any athlete that could turn into a distraction.
I can only speak from my experience but I found it a relief to be open with my friends, family and team-mates. It made me feel comfortable not having that cloud over me, the feeling that you are covering things up.
I just hope that the more sportsmen and sportswomen who come out, the more sport will catch up with the real world.
Hopefully in two or three years’ time, coming out won’t be a news story.

Tom Bosworth was talking to Victoria Derbyshire on her show, which is broadcast on BBC Two and the BBC News Channel each weekday at 09:15 BST.

Ten Ways To Come Out As Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual or Trans

12/10/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

By The Gay UK, Oct 11 2015 09:31AM

We asked readers and our writers for their top tips for coming out. Everybody’s experience for coming out will be different, what works for one person might not work for someone else, but hopefully at least one of these tips will help you in the process of coming out.

1) Only come out if it is what you want to do. If you feel pressured into coming out, remember that it has to be your decision. It is a big decision to make in your life and the most important thing is that you feel comfortable with what you are doing.
2) Treat it like a bandaid and just tear it off. Quick and almost painless. Just tell them, quickly, confidently and get it over with.
3) Don’t approach the situation like you’re about to announce you’re terminally ill. Body language and the tone of your voice will play a massive role in how people react to what you’re saying.
4) Do it the way you most feel comfortable! I told my Dad by letter, but my friends mainly face to face…it just got easier the more I did it.
5) Speaking to a helpline, like Switchboard – first, if you’re not sure what to say. Talking with a counsellor or helpline can help you find the words you need to describe what you’re feeling.
6) If you’re not sure how to bring it up, casually talk about a celebrity’s recent coming out like Tamal Ray or Apple’sTim Cook and gauge the reaction before going any further.
7) If you don’t get the reaction you expect, don’t be put off. You will get some negative reactions, but that is their problem not yours. The amount of positive reactions will far outweigh the negative ones.
8) It’s not an all or nothing deal. You don’t HAVE to tell everyone all at once. Start off with one person and let it grow organically from there.
9) Don’t apologise.
10) There is no right or wrong way to come out. It should be a tailor-made experience, as individual as you are

Happy National Coming Out Day!

12/10/2015 By ACOMSDave 5 Comments

BY OUT.COM EDITORS

OCTOBER 11 2015 10:00 AM EDT

From Tom Daley to Troye Sivan and Ellen Page, relive these incredible coming out videos.

First celebrated in 1988, National Coming Out Day has been observed every October 11 for more than 25 years. In the United States, 2015 has been a year of huge change, from the legalization of same-sex marriage to the unprecedented visibility of trans people. Had people in our community not come out, none of this would have been possible. It takes knowing LGBT people, talking with them, loving them, for society at large to understand and embrace us.
One day, it may not be necessary for us to come out, but until that point, coming out is a hugely important—and hugely nerve wrecking—moment in any LGBT person’s life. In this age of YouTube, many have taken to the internet, not only to get it done with in one swift motion, but also to help make it easier for young people struggling with their sexual and/or gender identities. Here are some of the biggest and most influential coming out videos:
Austin and Aaron Rhodes: 20.5 million views

Ingrid Nilsen: 12.5 million views

Tom Daley: 11.6 million views

Connor Franta: 9.4 million views

Troye Sivan: 5.9 million views

Ellen Page: 5.3 million views

Joey Graceffa: 5.8 million views

Lucas Cruikshank: 4.7 million views

Gigi Gorgeous: 3 million views

StoryCorps Releases Hopeful, Pre-Stonewall Story for National Coming Out Day

12/10/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

BY OUT.COM EDITORS

OCTOBER 11 2015 1:00 PM EDT

As part of StoryCorps’ OutLoud initiative to gather LGBTQ stories across America, Patrick Haggerty recalls talking with his father about being gay in rural Dry Creek, Washington, in the late 1950s.

The groundbreaking oral history project StoryCorps released the animated short “The Saint of Dry Creek” in partnership with the It Gets Better Project today as part of the OutLoud initiative to document the stories of LGBTQ people across America. In the story, Patrick Haggerty remembers the advice his father, a dairy farmer in rural Dry Creek, Wa., gave him when, in the late 1950s, he realized his son was gay.
OutLoud documents the powerful, varied experiences of LGBTQ people. The initiative honors the stories of those who lived before the 1969 Stonewall uprisings, celebrates the lives of LGBTQ youth, and amplifies the voices of those most often excluded from the historical record.

“We’ve recorded 700 interviews with 1500 people in the last year,” Isay tells Out. “I am surprised again and again how important these interviews are to the participants, and how powerful the stories are, and how little there is in the public record about life pre-Stonewall, especially in small towns and red states, like in this recent story. They rip my heart out—and inspire me—again and again. “

The end result of OutLoud will be a diverse collection of stories that will enrich our nation’s history.StoryCorps launched OutLoud in 2014 on the occasion of the 45th anniversary of the riots, in memory of StoryCorps founder Dave Isay’s father, the renowned psychiatrist and early advocate for marriage equality Dr. Richard Isay, who came out to Dave when he was 22 and Richard was 52. More information about OutLoud, and interviews collected for the initiative, can be found atStoryCorps.org/outloud/.
StoryCorps and the It Gets Better Project released this animated story for National Coming Out Day. See more StoryCorps.org/animation/

Indian photo series highlights plight of gay people

15/09/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

Arjun Kamath’s Coming Out represents the difficulties many young Indians face when they come out as LGBT

A photographer has shared a series of photos illustrating the persecution many same-sex couples still face in the world.
In a series of photos shared on Facebook, Arjun Kamath’s Coming Out represents the difficulties many young Indians face when they come out as LGBT.
“I have some gay friends who feel suffocated at having to hide and I wanted to address that; this is why I literalised the metaphorical closet,” Kamath told The Quint.
The pictures powerfully depict the story of two women who hesitatingly come out of the closet in a forest.

In addition to the images, Kamath shared his narrative of the images on his Facebook page.
In the narrative, the lovers Maitreyi and Alpana leave the closet before playing hide and seek in a forest.

Soon after, Maitreyi steps on a thorn and falls down in pain.
The couple are then blessed by Parivala, who is said to have also found freedom in the woods just days before.

The next day, the couple are pictured having fun by a river, however their happiness is disturbed by the Rakshasas, a type of evil in Hindi mythology, who chain the lovers up and force them back into the closet.
The final photos show the Rakshasas lighting the closet on fire with the two women trapped inside.
“Their biggest sin,” Kamath writes, “was that they loved each other, and not a man.”

“I was sick of some of my friends not being able to talk to their family and friends about their orientation. The ‘log kya kahenge‘ fear made them step right back into that closet the second they so much as opened the door for a breath of fresh air. And that is not acceptable. To see them go through life in oblique disappointment is not acceptable,” Kamath told India Today.
The setting of the photos was intentional, with Kamath tellingIndia Today: “The forest that the closet is kept in reflects the savage retaliation they receive from the society. And I wanted it to be graphic, because no other way could I portray the agony that my friends, and even your friends, go through.”
To see the full series of pictures, along with Kamath’s narrative,click here.