ACOMSDave

Community Journalist

  • Home
  • Community Journalist
  • Events
  • Media Page and Press Kit
    • Projects and Work
  • Resources & Documents
    • LGBTQ+ Support Groups and Documents
  • Archives
  • Contact

How a Gay Dad Comes out Today – and Every Day

21/10/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

huff-post-gay-voices-logo-1
 

Ian Colvin Become a fanBlogger, GaysWithKids.com
DADS

ONOKY – Eric Audras via Getty Images

“Titanium metal!” my son exclaimed. “Like a fast robot police sports car!”
“Pink!” my daughter excitedly squealed.
“And what do you think?” I asked my husband, as we were shopping for our new car. “You need to like the color, too.”
A salesperson in the showroom, overhearing our conversation, inquired, “Why does your brother need to like the color of the car you’re buying?”
Since coming out over 20 years ago, I’ve realized that coming out is not a one and done thing.
But now, as a gay dad, with a husband and two kids, coming out happens pretty much on a weekly, if not, daily, basis.
This September, my son started playing hockey, and I’m the assistant coach.
During our coaches meeting, many of the coaches in the room mentioned that we hadn’t received an email, inviting use to fill out one of the forms we were reviewing.
The reply?
“Your wives probably filled it out, without you knowing!”
I don’t intentionally come out every day. Or even purposely call myself a gay dad. No big announcements, no celebratory parties, no viral YouTube videos… well, okay…maybe one… or two…
Yet, the reality is, I am a proud gay dad, whose family looks a bit different than the majority of families where we live.
Earlier this year, my husband I and were out walking with our kids, and new neighbors came up to introduce themselves.
After a bit of small talk, they then asked, “So… what’s going on here… Full House? — guys raising kids together?”
“Well, kind of, but in this case, we’re husbands,” we replied.
Them: “Husbands?”
Me: “Husbands.”
Them: “Husbands?”
Me: “Yes… husbands.”
Them: “Oh… you’re a same-sex couple! Honey — we have a same-sex couple on our new street!”
I know not every coming out moment is funny and not every coming out moment garners a positive reaction.
I also know that barriers still exist for so many LGBTQ individuals, and that some people still feel that they have to hide this part of their identity.
Personally, I’m inspired by those who have “come out” before me — who were visible on the first National Coming Out Day, 27 years ago, when it wasn’t easy to be heard.
Twenty years ago, the hardest words to ever come out of my mouth were, “I’m gay” — and unfortunately, the reactions weren’t as positive or as humorous as the reactions I get now.
For so many youth the reactions still aren’t favorable.
In fact, it’s estimated that 25-40 percent of homeless youth identify as LGBTQ.
It’s one of the reasons why I want to live my life so transparent and so visible.
I know that I don’t have to come out in those every day moments but I do feel a responsibility to be visible and to be out.
I want to be a role model for those who aspire to be out, but don’t think they can.
I want to change perception of what families look like, and inspire those who think that by coming out, they have to give up their dream of being a parent.
I want to help LGBTQ youth so that they feel they can live their authentic lives.
One of the best notes I have ever received about one of my blog posts, was from a mother, whose son was having a hard time coming out. He was afraid of being rejected and he thought that by coming out, he would have to give up his dream of being a dad. After reading my post, her son had the courage to come out and to live his authentic life. This woman’s letter was so heartfelt, and showed me how important it is to be visible — because you never know who is going to be helped by your story.
I recognize how fortunate I am. I can be a dad to two incredible kids, a husband, a professional in business world, an assistant hockey coach, a blogger — and an out, gay man.
No one bats an eye or treats me differently when they find out that, no, I actually don’t have a wife. That tall, handsome, man I live with, he’s my husband and papa to our kids — and I love him dearly.
Oh… and the choice of color we selected for the car?
While there was a part of me who really wanted to choose pink… driving a fast robot police sports car is cool, too. Plus, it looks pretty awesome parked in our driveway beside the even cooler mini-van.

Share this:

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)

Filed Under: Anti-Bullying & Homophobia Tagged With: bay dad, coming out

Tom Bosworth: British Olympics hopeful comes out as gay

14/10/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

BBC News Logo
 
 

Tom Bosworth and Mo Farah

13 October 2015Last updated at 09:15

Race walker Tom Bosworth competed for Great Britain at the World Athletics Championships, is set to feature at the Rio Olympics and is the first athlete on the team to come out as gay.

Here the 25-year-old talks about how his head was smashed through a window because of his sexuality and why he revealed the news, on the Victoria Derbyshire show.
Coming out is no surprise to my friends, family and even team-mates, even Mo Farah who didn’t bat an eyelid when I told him I was gay.
I got to know him and others on the Great Britain endurance team prior to the World Athletics Championships in August after we spent a few weeks on a pre-training camp in Japan.
It was a great chance to talk about it in a relaxed environment and everyone was very supportive of me being the first openly gay athlete on the GB team.
But there were some interesting questions when I told them about my circumstances.

GB athlete Bosworth comes out as gay

My team-mates asked whether I had a partner and how old I was when I came out. They were intrigued by my sexuality and asked me whether I got any stick for being openly homosexual.
The truth is that I used to. When I was competing in local athletics a number of years ago, some other athletes called me ‘fag’ or ‘queer’.
And when I was at school, when those feelings were still developing, I had my head smashed through a window by a group of boys. Thankfully, that’s all in the past now.
Whilst my current team-mates were interested to talk about my sexuality, they soon realised there was nothing to be concerned about and all was perfectly normal. It was great that everyone could be themselves as the pressure built in camp before a major championships.
It shows you that if someone of Mo’s stature can be supportive then there should be no issues from others.

Who is Tom Bosworth?

Born: Sevenoaks, Kent, 1990
Trains at the National Race Walking Centre in Leeds
Britain’s number one race walker over 20km, and third-fastest in history
Was 12th at 2014 European Championships; 24th at 2015 World Championships
Has a degree in sports performance and is a qualified trampoline coach and sports masseur
Tom Bosworth

Tom Bosworth has been in a gay relationship for four and a half years

‘My head was smashed through a window at school’

I wish that all athletes from my past had been as positive as Mo.
About four or five years ago, some former athletes in local athletics would verbally abuse me. It was pretty nasty, and made worse by the fact they found it funny. Thankfully, they were in the minority.
In the end, I just ignored them. I realised they had no positive part to play in my life and fortunately I had enough people around me who I could rely on for support.
Sometimes, you have to be a bit thick-skinned about it all and I learned that lesson, sometimes literally, in school.
When I was 15 or 16, I thought I was gay and somehow word got around in school, leading to a really difficult period in my life. Teenagers can be really nasty and half the time they don’t even realise what they’re saying. It’s just ignorance, I guess.
A group of lads used to gang up on me and the worst episode came when they smashed my head through a window after a run-in. I decided not to tell anyone about it, so my parents or teachers didn’t know. I guess I was more worried about people blaming me than the students but I had the support of my friends to get me through that tough time.
It was a decade ago, so I’d like to think that things have moved on a lot since then, even in schools, and that kids are more tolerant these days.
That experience taught me to ignore lone voices. I know there will always be people who have a problem with my sexuality, but one person’s opinion doesn’t affect me now, as I have support from my parents and partner.
I’m not even sure I can change the opinions of those boys. All I want to do is give a positive message that you can succeed in sport whatever your background. Be it gay, straight, black, white, religious or non-religious – there are no barriers.

High-profile gay sports men and women

Former Aston Villa footballer Thomas Hitzlsperger
British Commonwealth champion diver Tom Daley
England women’s footballer Casey Stoney
Former Wales rugby union player Gareth Thomas
Former Olympic champion swimmer Ian Thorpe

‘Some might see being gay as a weakness’

Coming out is not going to change my life on a personal level.
I’ve been comfortable with my sexuality and in a really happy relationship for the past four and a half years but in the build-up to the Rio Olympics next year, I don’t want this news to become a distraction or affect those closest to me.
That’s why I want to speak publicly about being gay now.
It’s a big decision for me and a little scary what the reaction might be, but I do think that attitudes are changing. Tom Daley’s decision to come out in December 2013 was a huge step in the right direction, paving the way for others to follow suit.
Unfortunately, speaking out about this as a sportsperson is still news.
In any line of work, whether you are a teacher or working in an office, it’s normal to have a gay colleague but in sport, we are lagging behind.
That’s a real shame and I’m not sure why that is because this summer has opened my eyes as to how supportive everyone in athletics really is.
A lot of sport is about giving the appearance that you are strong, that you have no weaknesses that rivals can prey on.
So perhaps there are people who feel that homosexuality is seen as a weakness, maybe even by those who are gay, as it may give others a chance to attack them. By hiding it, they might feel like they are protecting themselves.
But I guess it could also hinder their sporting performance. By keeping your true self a secret, it could play on your mind and for any athlete that could turn into a distraction.
I can only speak from my experience but I found it a relief to be open with my friends, family and team-mates. It made me feel comfortable not having that cloud over me, the feeling that you are covering things up.
I just hope that the more sportsmen and sportswomen who come out, the more sport will catch up with the real world.
Hopefully in two or three years’ time, coming out won’t be a news story.

Tom Bosworth was talking to Victoria Derbyshire on her show, which is broadcast on BBC Two and the BBC News Channel each weekday at 09:15 BST.

Share this:

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)

Filed Under: Anti-Bullying & Homophobia, History Tagged With: coming out, politics, sportsman, Tom Bosworth, track and field

Ten Ways To Come Out As Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual or Trans

12/10/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

the-gay-uk-logoBy The Gay UK, Oct 11 2015 09:31AM
 
 
We asked readers and our writers for their top tips for coming out. Everybody’s experience for coming out will be different, what works for one person might not work for someone else, but hopefully at least one of these tips will help you in the process of coming out.
1) Only come out if it is what you want to do. If you feel pressured into coming out, remember that it has to be your decision. It is a big decision to make in your life and the most important thing is that you feel comfortable with what you are doing.
2) Treat it like a bandaid and just tear it off. Quick and almost painless. Just tell them, quickly, confidently and get it over with.
3) Don’t approach the situation like you’re about to announce you’re terminally ill. Body language and the tone of your voice will play a massive role in how people react to what you’re saying.
4) Do it the way you most feel comfortable! I told my Dad by letter, but my friends mainly face to face…it just got easier the more I did it.
5) Speaking to a helpline, like Switchboard – first, if you’re not sure what to say. Talking with a counsellor or helpline can help you find the words you need to describe what you’re feeling.
6) If you’re not sure how to bring it up, casually talk about a celebrity’s recent coming out like Tamal Ray or Apple’sTim Cook and gauge the reaction before going any further.
7) If you don’t get the reaction you expect, don’t be put off. You will get some negative reactions, but that is their problem not yours. The amount of positive reactions will far outweigh the negative ones.
8) It’s not an all or nothing deal. You don’t HAVE to tell everyone all at once. Start off with one person and let it grow organically from there.
9) Don’t apologise.
10) There is no right or wrong way to come out. It should be a tailor-made experience, as individual as you are

Share this:

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)

Filed Under: Anti-Bullying & Homophobia Tagged With: coming out

Happy National Coming Out Day!

12/10/2015 By ACOMSDave 5 Comments

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

BY OUT.COM EDITORS
OCTOBER 11 2015 10:00 AM EDT

ncod

From Tom Daley to Troye Sivan and Ellen Page, relive these incredible coming out videos.
First celebrated in 1988, National Coming Out Day has been observed every October 11 for more than 25 years. In the United States, 2015 has been a year of huge change, from the legalization of same-sex marriage to the unprecedented visibility of trans people. Had people in our community not come out, none of this would have been possible. It takes knowing LGBT people, talking with them, loving them, for society at large to understand and embrace us.
One day, it may not be necessary for us to come out, but until that point, coming out is a hugely important—and hugely nerve wrecking—moment in any LGBT person’s life. In this age of YouTube, many have taken to the internet, not only to get it done with in one swift motion, but also to help make it easier for young people struggling with their sexual and/or gender identities. Here are some of the biggest and most influential coming out videos:
Austin and Aaron Rhodes: 20.5 million views

Ingrid Nilsen: 12.5 million views

Tom Daley: 11.6 million views

Connor Franta: 9.4 million views

Troye Sivan: 5.9 million views

Ellen Page: 5.3 million views

Joey Graceffa: 5.8 million views

Lucas Cruikshank: 4.7 million views

Gigi Gorgeous: 3 million views

Share this:

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)

Filed Under: Anti-Bullying & Homophobia Tagged With: coming out, national day

StoryCorps Releases Hopeful, Pre-Stonewall Story for National Coming Out Day

12/10/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

BY OUT.COM EDITORS
OCTOBER 11 2015 1:00 PM EDT

Radio Broadcast Mast

As part of StoryCorps’ OutLoud initiative to gather LGBTQ stories across America, Patrick Haggerty recalls talking with his father about being gay in rural Dry Creek, Washington, in the late 1950s.


The groundbreaking oral history project StoryCorps released the animated short “The Saint of Dry Creek” in partnership with the It Gets Better Project today as part of the OutLoud initiative to document the stories of LGBTQ people across America. In the story, Patrick Haggerty remembers the advice his father, a dairy farmer in rural Dry Creek, Wa., gave him when, in the late 1950s, he realized his son was gay.
OutLoud documents the powerful, varied experiences of LGBTQ people. The initiative honors the stories of those who lived before the 1969 Stonewall uprisings, celebrates the lives of LGBTQ youth, and amplifies the voices of those most often excluded from the historical record.

“We’ve recorded 700 interviews with 1500 people in the last year,” Isay tells Out. “I am surprised again and again how important these interviews are to the participants, and how powerful the stories are, and how little there is in the public record about life pre-Stonewall, especially in small towns and red states, like in this recent story. They rip my heart out—and inspire me—again and again. “

The end result of OutLoud will be a diverse collection of stories that will enrich our nation’s history.StoryCorps launched OutLoud in 2014 on the occasion of the 45th anniversary of the riots, in memory of StoryCorps founder Dave Isay’s father, the renowned psychiatrist and early advocate for marriage equality Dr. Richard Isay, who came out to Dave when he was 22 and Richard was 52. More information about OutLoud, and interviews collected for the initiative, can be found atStoryCorps.org/outloud/.
StoryCorps and the It Gets Better Project released this animated story for National Coming Out Day. See more StoryCorps.org/animation/

 
 

Share this:

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)

Filed Under: Anti-Bullying & Homophobia Tagged With: coming out, history, politics, stonewall

Indian photo series highlights plight of gay people

15/09/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

 
 
 
Image-1

Arjun Kamath’s Coming Out represents the difficulties many young Indians face when they come out as LGBT

A photographer has shared a series of photos illustrating the persecution many same-sex couples still face in the world.
In a series of photos shared on Facebook, Arjun Kamath’s Coming Out represents the difficulties many young Indians face when they come out as LGBT.
“I have some gay friends who feel suffocated at having to hide and I wanted to address that; this is why I literalised the metaphorical closet,” Kamath told The Quint.
The pictures powerfully depict the story of two women who hesitatingly come out of the closet in a forest.

 
In addition to the images, Kamath shared his narrative of the images on his Facebook page.
In the narrative, the lovers Maitreyi and Alpana leave the closet before playing hide and seek in a forest.

Soon after, Maitreyi steps on a thorn and falls down in pain.
The couple are then blessed by Parivala, who is said to have also found freedom in the woods just days before.

The next day, the couple are pictured having fun by a river, however their happiness is disturbed by the Rakshasas, a type of evil in Hindi mythology, who chain the lovers up and force them back into the closet.
The final photos show the Rakshasas lighting the closet on fire with the two women trapped inside.
“Their biggest sin,” Kamath writes, “was that they loved each other, and not a man.”

“I was sick of some of my friends not being able to talk to their family and friends about their orientation. The ‘log kya kahenge‘ fear made them step right back into that closet the second they so much as opened the door for a breath of fresh air. And that is not acceptable. To see them go through life in oblique disappointment is not acceptable,” Kamath told India Today.
The setting of the photos was intentional, with Kamath tellingIndia Today: “The forest that the closet is kept in reflects the savage retaliation they receive from the society. And I wanted it to be graphic, because no other way could I portray the agony that my friends, and even your friends, go through.”
To see the full series of pictures, along with Kamath’s narrative,click here.

Share this:

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)

Filed Under: Anti-Bullying & Homophobia Tagged With: Arjun Kamath, coming out, gay people, Indian, LGBT

Newly Out Rugby Player Keegan Hirst Poses For Nude Photo Shoot

19/08/2015 By ACOMSDave 5 Comments

Keegan Hirstby Dan Avery
 
Just days after he publicly stepped out of the closet, newly out rugby player Keegan Hirst appears to be stepping out of his clothes. The 27-year-old British Rugby League player appears naked (save for a rugby ball tastefully covering his privates) in a photo that’s gone viral.
keegan-hirst
The source of the breathtaking image, which features one of his teammates on the Batley Bulldogs, is unknown—but could be from a charity calendar.

Emma Watson expressed her admiration for Hirst on Twitter, stating “Physical courage is courage in the face of physical pain, hardship, death or threat of death, while moral courage is the ability to act rightly in the face of popular opposition, shame, scandal or discouragement. @KeeganHirst #gotboth. @KeeganHirst what a hero. x (sic)”
In an interview with the Mirror, Hirst admitted “At first I couldn’t even say ‘I’m gay’ in my head, let alone out loud. Now I feel like I’m letting out a long breath that I’ve held in for a long time.”
keegan-hirst-TH

Welcome out, Keegan. Looking good.

http://www.newnownext.com/newly-out-rugby-player-keegan-hirst-poses-for-nude-photo-shoot/08/2015/
 

Share this:

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)

Filed Under: Anti-Bullying & Homophobia Tagged With: coming out, Keegan Hirst, rugby

Coming Out Cards

11/07/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

‘Coming Out Cards’ Provide The Perfect Response For A Newly Out Loved One

The Huffington Post  |  By JamesMichael Nichols
Posted: 07/09/2015 2:00 pm EDT
Coming out is never easy.
However, for individuals who have never loved or been close to a member of the lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender (LGBT) community, knowing how to respond to someone’s coming out can also be challenging.
For this reason, queer teen John Hansen began making “Coming Out Cards” — free eCards that can be sent to a newly out member of the LGBT community as a small gesture of support and compassion. The cards are often tongue-in-cheek, adding a lighthearted air to what can be one of the most difficult times of a queer person’s life.
“Coming out is often isolating, and continuing a dialogue with someone who has recently come out can make them feel much more comfortable and confident,” Hansen told The Huffington Post. “It can make such a huge difference to remind them that you’re listening, that you understand and that you’re there for them. I hope these eCards will do exactly that.”
The Huffington Post chatted further with Hansen this week about the “Coming Out Cards” and the impact he hopes they achieve. Check out the interview, as well as the cards themselves, below.
Coming Out-2Coming OUt-1

Why did you decide to create these “Coming Out Cards”?
John Hansen: For a while now, I’ve noticed that there are greeting cards for almost every occasion, yet very few geared specifically towards coming out. And so, about a month ago, I decided to change that. Because I’m not much of a designer, a big part of the eCards for me has always been the message — I wanted the cards to feel fun and positive and conversational all at once, so that they’d read like a friend’s dorky text.
Why do you think this resource is so important for the queer community?
The eCards certainly won’t change everything — one of the many pressing issues facing the queer community is acceptance, and it’s brave LGBTQIA+ people across the world who are fighting to make acceptance the norm. But my hope is that these cards will help in that “after coming out” stage, both by putting a smile on a queer person’s face and by letting them breathe deeply because they know they truly are supported.
Coming Out-5Coming Out-4Coming Out-3
In your opinion, why are affirmations of support crucial to the healthy lives of queer people?
Though not every queer person will need an affirmation of support, I do think that — especially in the beginning stages of the process — many people are still deeply uncertain about how their sexuality or gender will affect their relationships, and little affirmations of support can help remind them that it’s going to be okay. Coming out is often isolating, and continuing a dialogue with someone who has recently come out can make them feel much more comfortable and confident. You honestly don’t know what’s going through their mind — they might still be insecure about their sexuality or gender, for example, or they might have had bad coming out experiences in the past and are worried that this one will also turn sour. It can make such a huge difference to remind them that you’re listening, that you understand and that you’re there for them. I hope these eCards will do exactly that.
What do you hope to see from this project in the future?
I’d really love for the cards to reach the right people — by which I mean queer people who might find them funny, yeah, but also others who are supportive of the LGBTQIA+ community but who aren’t quite sure how to express it. I hope these cards will bridge the gap for anyone who is struggling to convey their admiration for a loved one who has recently come out.
Want to see more “Coming Out Cards”? Head here.

Let Us KnowEditorial:  Do you think you would ever use a Coming Out Card?  Have you already used a Coming Out Card?  Write and let us know.

Some Celebrities Who Have Come Out As LGBT

Matt Bomer 2012Gillian Anderson 2012Jodie Foster 2013Wentworth MIller 2013
 

Share this:

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)

Filed Under: Anti-Bullying & Homophobia Tagged With: coming out, Coming Out Cards, equality, Gillian Anderson, Jodie Foster, Matt Bomer, Wentworth Miller

Coming out in Newcastle: Pride Radio creator says being gay cost him jobs

05/07/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

  • 12:27, 4 JULY 2015
  • BY ADAM LUKE

 
 

Former North East radio and TV presenter Jonathan Morrell

Former North East radio and TV presenter Jonathan MorrellFormer North East radio and TV presenter Jonathan Morrell


Former Sunday Sun columnist Jonathan Morrell, who now lives in Australia with his husband, is urging people to turn out for Northern Pride
Former North radio and TV presenter Jonathan Morrell has revealed for the first time that being gay cost him jobs in the region.
Speaking in support of Newcastle’s upcoming Northern Pride festival, the former Sunday Sun columnist said he was restricted in how open and honest he could be about his sexuality while working in the North East media for more than 20 years.
But the 45-year-old, who emigrated to Australia four years ago with partner Andrew, has called on people of all sexual orientations, ages and backgrounds to join in the celebration later this month to ensure prejudice continues to fade away.
Jonathan, who now works as a producer and reporter for Perth’s Channel 7 News channel after stints with BBC Radio Newcastle and Cleveland, ITV Tyne Tees, Sky News and Real Radio, said: “The North East is no better or worse that anywhere else. There are people who have issues with homosexuality and those without.

“When you live in a democracy like the UK or Australia you are entitled to your opinion but you are not entitled to it if it is intended to make people’s lives unhappy.

“In my lifetime, things have come a long way – from the age of consent being 21 and schools being banned from talking about homosexuality in the 1980s, to protection in the workplace from discrimination and equality in marriage. I never imagined that would happen.”Jonathan grew up in rural Cornwall and he found moving to the diverse city of Newcastle as a student made life easier being gay, but he soon found work tricky.
He said: “I had come out when I was about 16 at college. I had a girlfriend but it didn’t work out. My friend Darren was the first openly gay person I had known and at first that scared me. With time, I told him that I might be gay. He said he wasn’t surprised and that was it.
“I cannot explain how huge it is to say that to someone for the first time. You are challenging all of the assumptions about you from being a child. My friends made it clear it didn’t make a difference and I should just be myself.
“There were people who didn’t speak to me again, but it was there loss and I don’t want those sorts of people in my life.
“Since then I have never flaunted it, but have always been open and honest because I think, ‘why wouldn’t I be’? Prejudice is drawn out of ignorance and the more people know about minority groups like LGBT the more accepting they will be as they know people who fit into these groups and are nice people.
“However, it was hard to do that when you are working on TV and radio because a lot of time the company was not happy with me being as open.”
He explained: “There have been instances of people saying unpleasant things to me. When I was at the BBC an older colleague said he knew why I was gay. When I asked how, he said I must have been abused as a child. I was gobsmacked.
“Another colleague, who was Christian, gave me a book and asked me to read it. It was about a bloke who got AIDS and died.
“Occasionally in pubs I hear abuse, but I don’t tend to say anything as that only sees things escalate out of control. These people tend to run out of things to say in the end. But I have also met some amazing supportive people and they fair outnumber the nasty ones.
“It has cost me jobs in the past because there is still a culture, although it is against the law, in which homophobic opinions remain but have been pushed underground because it is not PC to say anymore.
“Thankfully, fewer and fewer of those people are around. At the end of the day what two people do in their relationship is nobody else’s business.”
Jonathan and Andrew have been together for 26 years, having met at work at the BBC, and in March the civil partners got married.
Jonathan was a leading figure in the creation of Pride Radio North East, which broadcasts online all year round and on FM for four weeks each, and while living in the North East was also a keen supporter of LGBT rugby club Newcastle Ravens and support service MESMAC North East.

Pride Parade Newcastle

Pride Parade Newcastle


Meanwhile, the journalist has given his backing to the Northern Pride arts and entertainment festival will take place across the region from July 17 to 19, centring on the Town Moor’s weekend showpiece event.
He said: “Pride has gone from being a small gathering to a great big party which attracts big artists and thousands of people.
“When I was on TV I was quite careful where I went and what I did, but once that stopped I no longer felt under pressure and loved going to the Pride festival.
“People ask why we need Pride. Look at Russia where homosexuals are being persecuted. You can see that very quickly things can change from a tolerant climate to open hostility.
“Before 1967, tens of thousands of people in the UK were prosecuted for being gay – not long ago. People were locked up, had lobotomies and were chemically castrated.
“Governments change and society changes but we cannot ever go back to those days. We must always be vigilant and make sure we continues to speak up and remember how far LGBT people have come and how far they still need to go.”He added: “Pride is also great fun – a day of celebration to be thankful about rights hard won by a generation who went through really tough times.
“It is a time to say ‘this is me, this is our community and we are here’. We might not think there a lot of gay people in Newcastle but there are thousands. It is important that they get out there.”
And the worst thing Jonathan hears said about his sexuality?
“People say it is a choice and I made it. My response is, ‘you should try walking a thousand miles in my shoes’.
“I believe me being gay is a product of birth and in time I’m confident that will be proven. Just as people have brown hair, I was born that way.”

Share this:

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)

Filed Under: Anti-Bullying & Homophobia Tagged With: Australia, coming out, Jonathan Morrell, LGBT rights, Newcastle, Perth

Adam and the Angst

27/06/2015 By ACOMSDave Leave a Comment

 

 

BY MATTHEW BREEN
JUNE 23 2015 10:00 AM EDT
Photography by Jack Waterlot | Styling by Alison Brooks | Groomer: Abreea Saunders

 

Adam Lambert

Adam Lambert’s new album, The Original High, finds solid ground in uneasiness.
For Adam Lambert, Hollywood isn’t just a metaphor for success or disillusionment. It’s a real place — his city for the last 15 years. It was his home before he ran away with all the accolades (if not the title) on American Idol, before he debuted an album at the top of the Billboard charts, before guest starring on Glee, and before fronting a stadium-rock band that ranks among the biggest of all time.
When it came time to write and record his new album, The Original High, he knew where his material would come from.
“I wanted the album to be a real snapshot of my life, my real life, my authentic life in L.A. over the past 15 years,” says Lambert. “I wanted it to sound like music I listen to when I go out or when I’m at the fucking gym or in Runyon Canyon or in my car.” He pauses. “It’s a bit of a melancholy album, you know? It’s talking about the ups and downs of life in Hollywood.”
If Lambert had been singing specifically about his time in the music industry, the ups would certainly include the debut of his sophomore album, Trespassing, at the number 1 spot on the Billboard 200 — a historic first for a gay artist; or being handpicked by Brian May and Roger Taylor to be heir apparent to Freddie Mercury as Queen’s frontman in a globe-trotting tour. The downs might include disappointingly little radio play for Trespassing’s singles, despite that auspicious launch. Or it might include the reaction from his then-label, RCA Records.

During the downtime following the release of Trespassing, Lambert was going out, going to dinners, and hanging out with friends. And his conversations with them had a new and different purpose. He began asking friends heavy stuff: What is it that you want? Why are you in this city? What are you looking for?
He says, “Most of the people that I asked weren’t able to answer it. ‘How the fuck are we supposed to know? I don’t know what I want.’ And I understood that. I was like, Exactly. What is it that we’re chasing? What is the driving force here? Is it happiness? Is it success? Is it sex? Is it love? Is it validation?”
SLIDESHOW | ADAM LAMBERT: ORIGINAL HIGH
Lambert went to RCA, armed with some new insights from those conversations and the experience of two albums, and said, “Let’s try something different.” But RCA had something different in mind as well: a 1980s cover album. Lambert thought about the proposal for a few weeks, and researched New Wave. “It didn’t feel like the right thing. So I said, ‘I don’t really want to do that,’ and they said, ‘Well, that’s what we want to do.’ And I said, ‘OK, I’m going to go.’ ”
Now a free agent for the first time, Lambert approached two of his former collaborators, the Swedish super-producers Max Martin and Shellback, who variously co-wrote and co-produced Britney Spears’s “…Baby One More Time,” Katy Perry’s “Roar,” Maroon 5’s “Moves Like Jagger,” and Taylor Swift’s “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together.” He brought a demo of a new song titled “The Original High,” about chasing the rush of first times.
“Shell got really excited,” says Lambert. “He immediately heard how he could turn it into an even stronger song.” Martin and Shellback talked with Lambert about where life had been taking him, and he says they told him, “What if we executive produce the whole thing, the whole album?”
“I breathed a sigh of relief because, at that point, I wasn’t sure what the fuck was happening next,” Lambert says. “These two guys are people I respect so much and I also really enjoy them as people. They answered my prayers.”
Lambert spent eight weeks in Stockholm, working on new songs and meeting Martin and Shellback’s collective of musicians, known as Wolf Cousins. “Habits” singer Tove Lo was a part of that group, and together they wrote and recorded the song “Rumors” in Stockholm. She says collaborating was “a lot of fun, and also easy because he can sing the shit out of anything! We kind of want to share similar emotions in our music, so we understand each other lyrically.”
Lambert calls Shellbeck the “mad scientist” of the studio. “He understands how to worm into people’s brains,” Lambert told a Stockholm audience in June. “He came up with this melody,” says Lambert, “and Tove Lo and I sat down and were like, ‘How do we make a story out of these cool sounds?’ ”
The album’s first single came from those earlier, ambivalent conversations about Los Angeles. “ ‘Ghost Town’ is kind of setting the scene,” Lambert says. “You moved to the big city, you have these ideas, you have these ambitions, and then what happens when you get to a fork in the road, or you hit a wall, and you’re like, Oh, it’s not what I thought it was going to be, or I’m not getting what I thought I wanted, and everything I thought I knew is being called into question? How does that make you feel?” He quotes his lyrics: “ ‘My heart is a ghost town.’ I feel empty. I feel unfulfilled.”
So the song wasn’t primarily about a breakup? “It rolls into that,” he says, laughing. “You can spend a lot of your energy in a place like Hollywood chasing ass.”
“Evil in the Night” — despite high-energy steel guitar, bombastic lyrics, and just a touch of Jamiroquai-esque funk — feels like a refinement of a signature Lambert sound.
“I chilled out a little bit. I don’t know if it’s just being in my 30s,” he says. “When you’re younger and you’ve got a skill, you tend to show off more — you feel like you have more to prove. Over the last few years, I’ve gotten into a place where I feel a little more confident in what I do, and I don’t feel I need to prove myself as far as ‘look at all the tricks I can do.’ Now music for me is more about wanting to prove that I can feel something.”
With a new album in full swing, Lambert had to publicly announce his parting of the ways with RCA in July 2013, simultaneously announcing that he’d signed on to appear on Glee’s fifth season. Warner Bros. contacted Lambert the next day.
“It was scary leaving the label,” says Lambert, but WB’s arrival made him feel confident. “It made me feel better about all of this, made me feel like there was a light at the end of the tunnel. That paired with Max and Shellback’s interest in doing the whole album — it was just like, This is all going to work. I know it’s going to work.”
Lambert grew up in San Diego, joining a children’s theater company at age 10. At 12, he floored the audience with a powerful operatic solo in Fiddler on the Roof.
After moving to Los Angeles, he worked in theater, including Ten Commandments: The Musical with Val Kilmer, and the first national touring company and L.A. production of Wicked. Though he’d been out since age 18, his newfound fame on the eighth season of American Idol brought the kind of scrutiny at age 27 for which an ensemble performer and Fiyero understudy couldn’t have prepared himself. His skillful reworking of Johnny Cash’s “Ring of Fire” and Tears for Fears’ “Mad World,” accompanying his darkly glamorous stage attire and affect (in contrast with his ultimately forgettable competition), made him an Idol audience favorite.
But before the season ended, Lambert appeared on the cover of Entertainment Weekly; the accompanying article speculated on his sexual orientation in light of his winking onstage sensibility and outré fashion. Pictures surfaced of him making out with a man (whom he later revealed was an ex-boyfriend) on a Burning Man social media site, Tribe.net. Lambert neither confirmed nor denied anything, to the frustration of many. Shortly after Idol wrapped in May 2009, and Lambert was awarded the runner-up spot, he came out in a cover story in Rolling Stone, but continued to field complaints for appearing in a Details photo shoot in which he suggestively grabbed a naked woman, and for subsequent tightly orchestrated media appearances. He essentially wasn’t being gay enough.
There’s no way to know exactly how much being out has contributed to or detracted from Lambert’s career, but it would be easy to understand why he may have felt he’d rather unfairly gone through the ringer. But he says he feels no envy for those musicians who’ve come out since he did, and may be having an easier go of it. Lambert praised gay singer Sam Smith to Attitude recently, saying, “I’m so happy for him, and I’m so happy his sexuality wasn’t a big thorn in his side.”
“It was just the way things went down,” Lambert says. “At that time, how many mainstream music artists did we have that were out? Elton John and George Michael — and his whole coming out was tabloid fun. There hadn’t been a blueprint to follow. That was the one thing I wished I’d had: a little more guidance. There were definitely moments of frustration and pressure, but there’s been a lot of goodwill as well, a lot of support from fans and media people, and it’s balanced out. I don’t have any sort of bitterness about it.”
Lambert has also forged a connection with Freddie Mercury, a queer artist of the past of whom he was a fan, and with whom he shares more than an octave-defying range. In 2009, May and Taylor performed Queen’s “We Are the Champions” live on the season finale of Idol with winner Kris Allen and runner-up Lambert in a vocal duet. Impressed with Lambert, they invited him to serve as their frontman at the 2011 MTV Europe Music Awards, on a brief European tour the next year, and on a world tour in 2014 and 2015.
“I’ve heard nothing but incredible stories about him,” Lambert says of Mercury. May and Taylor both told him that they’d have gotten on well, that he shared Mercury’s sense of humor. “From what I gathered, he seemed like a really sweet guy, actually — and a bit shy socially. I would have loved to meet him.” Lambert and his Queen bandmates have talked a lot about Mercury, including how out he was. “Technically, he wasn’t really closeted. I mean, he did interviews early on where they were like, ‘Are you gay?’ and he was like, ‘Oh, yeah, gay as a daffodil, darling,’” Lambert says and laughs. “But nobody really believed it because they didn’t want to. It was so taboo at that time that people didn’t actually think he would have been.”
In the promotion of his new album, fans have noticed Lambert’s new look, a touch easier on the velvet and mascara. “I just generally grew out of that old look and enjoyed new ones — it’s as simple as that,” he says. “There’s also a point where I was working really hard to achieve a look that I was really into, and it was really fun and I wanted to stand out and be crazy and be weird and make a statement with the stuff I was wearing. I look back on some of those red carpet looks, and I’m like, What were you thinking?”
“It’s like growing pains, but I was just trying to express myself. Looking back on it now, I can see that I was probably hiding behind it a little bit, sort of like the kid that goes to high school dressed like a goth because they’re actually really sensitive and they don’t want to interact with people and they’re a little scared.”
Though the studio work is meticulously planned, some other parts of Lambert’s life aren’t, and that’s OK. “Everybody thinks everything is so premeditated and thought-out,” he says. Some things are “just impulse…because I felt like it.”
But he says, “Six years is a while, and now I’m in a new space and time in my life, and I’m hoping that my music and my image all match where I’m at.

Share this:

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)

Filed Under: Music Reviews Tagged With: Adam Lambert, coming out, gay, music

  • « Previous Page
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • Next Page »

Categories

Copyright ACOMSDave.com © 2021